Stop the world....

Re: Stop the world....

Caro Laithwaite VN — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 23:38:11 GMT

Thanks folks Ermm well l am on for 14 nights have done 3 of them then 3 or 4 days off (lost track) so l will take some time off then ... honest. Am going down to the parachute centre for a couple of days.

Thing is that this is the type of shifts l have been doing for the last 4 years nothing new the only extra is the estate sorting. So it is in a way normal but as a friend who lost her husband said.. Normal isnt normal anymore you have to find a new normal.

Re: Stop the world....

Phrin Vernon RVN — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 22:41:46 GMT

[quote user="Saskia Paula Quinn"]

Caro, my dear,

I know what your answer will be, but Im going to say it anyway

will you please have a break and take some time off work? Please

[/quote]

I agree - please Caro take some time off for YOU!

You have so much to deal with right now, and I think I am correct in saying that every single regular member of vetnurse.co.uk, is here for you 110%

I'm lucky enough never to have dealt with this kind of situation, but believe me, I would need time......

Hugs to Caro - please give yourself a break - let yourself grieve

Im just Joe Public in this respect, but what I have learnt in 30 years on this earth, is that when the shit hits the fan like this, you need to allow yourself time to crumble, be supported by family and friends, and gradually approach normaility again

Hugs again Caro - we are all here for you

These kind of companies can be tw@ts at the best of times, let alone your situation!

Hugs again xxxxx

Re: Stop the world....

Steph Worsley — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 21:19:53 GMT

[quote user="Saskia Paula Quinn"]

Caro, my dear,

I know what your answer will be, but Im going to say it anyway

will you please have a break and take some time off work? Please

[/quote]

Well said!!!!

Re: Stop the world....

Saskia Quinn — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 21:06:21 GMT

Caro, my dear,

I know what your answer will be, but Im going to say it anyway

will you please have a break and take some time off work? Please

Re: Stop the world....

Caro Laithwaite VN — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:52:06 GMT

Not feel you are forward any port when in stormy waters when l need help from all points l will holler for it have no fear and many thanks

Thankfully Brian is still and will always be pushing help my way but even he is getting boggled at the departments that are run by robotic human clones but l know he will point the way l just have to be open to the clues and l am sure your offer is yet another point he has pushed my way if needed.

My problem at the moment is tiredness and bad head cold and heading for wrong time of the month so l have no patience and am depressed which up to now is a point l have managed to avoid being in to the degree l am the last 3 days but l know it will pass when the other 2 "personal problems" pass, tiredness is something l have had to live with over the last few years.

Re: Stop the world....

Helen Freer — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:30:35 GMT

I agree Albatross some companies are brilliant, very helpful understanding and sort everything out. Whilst other are nothing but a pain (BT still will not change dad's name off the business account because they cannot speak to him,

or make you jump through hoops and make you repeat yoursef for ever more never seeming to understand. One of the worst is the DWP they have so many different deartments that do not seem to talk to each other. My fathers pension wasa not paid into his bank account but he had a card with which he withdrew money from at the PO. I told them the day after he died they said they would sort it, a month later they sent a cheque as the balance owed to him. But after nearly 4 months (and I had already got probate) they wrote to tell me they had overpaid and that I owed them nearly £400 I rang them up and they told me that the people you inform about a death is a different department to payments and that it takes a while for the payments dept. to be informed and stop payments, and then another few months for them to work out if they have over paid!!!!! I would have been happier if they had not paid anything for a few months and then paid the correct amount first time!!!

Caro, I agree the accountants have more patience to deal with the tax office than I did!!!!

I hope you do not feel I am being too forward but If either of you need anything, just ask as I dealt with my fathers on my own just over 18 months ago

Re: Stop the world....

Caro Laithwaite VN — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:07:30 GMT

Give me a buzz as well Albatross we can put our head together and come up with a new business. Low cost death executives charge half the price of lawyers. I get a lot of help from my legal helpline lady. She told me today most people do not do much they give up and hand it to lawyers. Said she loved my sense of humour as l now tell company's the account holder is present in 3 bags of ash on my desk now go read your computer properly.

Today's jaunt the finance company denied the camper was theirs said we had an unsecured loan. I told them nope was on a vehicle and l wanted said thing gone. We left it another department would contact me in 3 days. I said they had 3 days and l expected a phone call not a letter or hell would break loose. I also said the DD is closed and any money removed l would deam theft and treat as such.
My legal lady had me look at finance agreement (l had not thought to do this.. excuse bad head cold and tired) It says lease purchase and the van is their property until paid off. I will await round 2 with next department.

Re: Stop the world....

albatross — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 08:32:30 GMT

sending you a big hug Caro...... I am having exatly the same problems.

First with BT who won't cancel Mum's phone and refund the amount due - they sent her a letter saying she was £4 in credit and it would count against the next bill, so I phoned them and said I would love her to run up a next bill but it would be a tad difficult from heaven......

they then agreed to check the amount owning, which then came to £24 because they were charging her line rental for the whole quarter not to when she actually died. They sent a cheque in her name with no details........after I'd specifically stated I needed the info for probate, and the cheque payable to myself.
Another call has resulted in them promising to rectify it and I asked for it to be completed by last Friday - still no letter.... this will go to Offcom.

The other officialdom problem is with the DWP who have taken 3 months (and several calls) to stop paying her weekly pension......I have to go via the bank each time for the balance, and then when find it's still being paid, I go through the same rigamarole you have had - ring up, won't speak to me because of security, want to speak to the pensioner (sorry, will hold a seance for you....) and then finally agree but tell me either it's stopped, the computer hasn't been updated, we need more info, or promise it has been done and then I find out nothing has changed etc etc......
this is still ongoing, they haven't asked yet for any money back, and I haven't checked for two weeks because I am so fed up of trying to get them to understand.....
they can now wait until I complete probate - which is a difficult task to do for a loved one, and also a pain if you can't actually give full figures for creditors/debtors as the amount keeps changing.

Now some companies have been brilliant, they have their own bereavement team, talk so plainly and sensibly, offer condolences and deal with it straight away!
But the two above just just don't care that it's a real person and a beloved one that you ring up about, and that it might, just might, be painful for you and the hardest thing you've ever done in your life.

Maybe they all need to be in the NHS or veterinary world first, because we deal with death, and grieving family every day, and we KNOW how they feel and how we would wanted to be treated!

Think I will create myself a new job, offering bereavement training to companies..

I'm here for you Caro if you need anything.

Re: Stop the world....

Caro Laithwaite VN — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 03:43:11 GMT

Thanks Folks and Helen l have the tax paperwork my accoutant told me to drop it off with them.

Re: Stop the world....

Helen Freer — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 21:24:36 GMT

Take a deep breath Caro, any thing to do with finance and they do not seem to understand that when you inform them that someone has died that they can nolonger speak to them!!!

Just wait till you have to deal with the tax office, they seem to take even longer to get the message. The envelope was addressed to me as executor of my father and then the letter said dear......(my father's name) to inform him that they were collecting the underpaid tax via his PAYE on his pension during the following tax year (i.e He died June 2008 and they were collecting the tax out of his pension in the financial year 2009/10) How????????????

Re: Stop the world....

BengalcatRVN — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 19:16:36 GMT

That's shocking! Awww....hugs from the Bengal Kitty

Re: Stop the world....

Vicky RVN — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 19:12:55 GMT

What idiots

Re: Stop the world....

Selena Carnell — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 18:56:44 GMT

didnt want to read and run, soo sorry you have to deal with idiots like that.

Hope you get it sorted soon