Wedding Stress

Re: Wedding Stress

Shelly vn — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 08:00:00 GMT

[quote user="*Steph *"]

Seriously!!! does she think its HER day?? what a cheek!! what does your partner say about it all?? I feel for you, I really do! .. find the strength to say "It's OUR day, we'll plan it how WE want it" .. just cause they are helping towards the cost, does not give them the upper hand on arranging it for you.. xxx

[/quote]

He's been really good, he doesn't actually get on with his mum anyway, so he has no problem telling her what he thinks! She isn't contributing anythin towards the cost at all, my parents are paying for everything, so she definatly isn't going to get her way! Its all been so hard, i just it to be over with! Then i can concentrate on being married!

Re: Wedding Stress

Steph Phillips — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 18:03:37 GMT

Re: Wedding Stress

Sally Seddon — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 13:33:46 GMT

im so annoyed for you. how selfish of her!

good news on the replacement bridesmaid tho

Re: Wedding Stress

Shelly vn — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 13:32:19 GMT

The stress got worse before it got better! My mother in law decided on friday that the guest list is too one sided in favour of my family (i have 35 of the 60 guests) and she phoned up to give my other half hell! Now, she isn't paying anthing towards the wedding and we have invited all of my OH's aunts and uncles to the day, and we invited all of his 15 cousins to the evening, but she felt we should have had all 15 cousins plus other halves to the day. But she's not prepared to put her hand in her pocket and help with the costs! She's not getting her way and i'm now not talking to her, so everythings hunkydory on that front! But i have found a last minute replacement bridesmaid so thats looking up a bit!

Re: Wedding Stress

Steph Phillips — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 19:56:28 GMT

My sister is getting married in 4wks.. her future hubby went to vagas for his stag, and his best man just up'ed and left without warning, just left a note saying 'family problems gotta go'.. when they got home, he asked why he left, he just said "dont want to be best man anymore" - no explination, nothing! now this 'best man' is my future brother in laws "best" mate.. has been since kids.. they've not spoken since!

Thankfully my wedding went smoothly.. the only thing i didn't like was my photographer.. he was a complete kn*b!! but i didnt let him spoil my day.. dont let anyone spoil yours! xxx

Re: Wedding Stress

miranda luck — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 17:18:07 GMT

Hope things are calming down. Like the others have mentioned . . . all this stress (is unfortunately!) pretty common. I had my catering company cancel two weeks before our wedding - but guess what ... it all worked out in the end. Just relax and make sure you remember to enjoy the day!

Miranda

Re: Wedding Stress

Caro Laithwaite VN — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 15:34:01 GMT

Careful with comments when we went on holiday to croatia many years ago a friend kept giving me a hard time as l didn't drink. I grabbed a new bottle of rum and drank half a litre before Brian realised and grabbed the bottle off me.

Re: Wedding Stress

Tracy Windler RVN — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:22:24 GMT

[quote user="Shelly vn"]If i had realised how much trouble adult bridesmaids were going to be i would have taken a leave out of your book Tracy and just had little ones!![/quote]

ah, yes, the benefit of being the youngest of 3 sisters, and the last one out of all my friends to get married, having spent years putting up with "oh, you're the only one left" and "so when are you going to find yourself a nice man?" Grrrr! But at least I saw lots of examples of what NOT to do. Its not even like I was desperate to get married, I was just sick of the comments! Now I just get the baby comments, as I'm the only one without children!

Re: Wedding Stress

Shelly vn — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 13:30:51 GMT

icklesal, you seem like the ideal bridesmaid, maybe you could give mine a talking to and tell them how a bridesmaid should behave!?!

Well hen do tomorrow (which i organised myself!) so time to relax and have a few drinkies! And following on from the excellent advice from here i have booked myself a spa evening with a good friend! Just got to get through the next few weeks!

Re: Wedding Stress

Vickipr — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:51:47 GMT

I just remembered something else bad that happened on our day! After my (very drunk + evil!) mother had heckled her way through most of the speeches, she made a speech of her own (cringeworthy!) and at the end and anounced that I should never have children as I would be a rubbish mother! Luckily my brother took her outside and put her in a cab home!

I think all weddings have difficult things going on, but just rmember that you and your hubby to be love each other, and that's the main thing!

Re: Wedding Stress

Sally Seddon — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 17:29:19 GMT

[quote user="Shelly vn"]

[quote user="mrs mac"]

[quote user="Shelly vn"]bridesmaid is my future sister in law,[/quote]

Oh my word! Thats spooky- it was my sis in law that had the thrombo about her dress!!!!!!!!!

[/quote]

what is it about sister-in-law's!?! My own sister (the other bridesmaid) wouldn't let me have the colour i wanted and had very specific ideas about what she would and wouldn't wear!

[/quote]

Were not all bad, im being bridemaid for my brother when he gets married next year. Wouldnt dream of throwing a wobbler over what im wearing. Im just honoured to be asked.

As some of the others have said, its your day so sod the rest of them hun. There is always going to be someone upset when it comes to weddings. You cant please everyone so please do what makes you and your future hubby happy. I know its easier said than done but be strong and tell them to back off. As for your sis-in-law pulling out, its her loss because she should be honoured to of been asked to be your bridesmaid. Chin up hun xx

Re: Wedding Stress

Caro Laithwaite VN — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 16:31:25 GMT

Your day new bridesmaid sod them all. l can not believe the behaviour of so called adults are these people for real?

Re: Wedding Stress

Shelly vn — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 15:42:36 GMT

[quote user="mrs mac"]

[quote user="Shelly vn"]bridesmaid is my future sister in law,[/quote]

Oh my word! Thats spooky- it was my sis in law that had the thrombo about her dress!!!!!!!!!

[/quote]

what is it about sister-in-law's!?! My own sister (the other bridesmaid) wouldn't let me have the colour i wanted and had very specific ideas about what she would and wouldn't wear!

Re: Wedding Stress

Sally Howe — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 14:59:00 GMT

When I got married my parents flipped as I said NO relations as bridesmaids etc and chose my hubby best friend wife her child and my neighbour.

My parents didn't speak to us for 4 months coz my mother didn't want my dad to wear tails! In fact I arranged a close friend to give me away if they didn't turn up.

My mum complained that my hubby chose my wedding dress coz she was always too "poorly" to come with me. She moaned that she didn't like the church we got married in even though it was my mother-in-laws church and my parnts aren't religious.

My in-laws were lovely throughout.

On a lighter note not many could say the vicar knocked the huge flower arrangement over while we were having our piccies taken, caught on video! and my strapless bra squeaked!

Re: Wedding Stress

Mac Feather — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 14:46:37 GMT

[quote user="Shelly vn"]bridesmaid is my future sister in law,[/quote]

Oh my word! Thats spooky- it was my sis in law that had the thrombo about her dress!!!!!!!!!

Re: Wedding Stress

Shelly vn — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 13:54:51 GMT

[quote user="Tracy Windler RVN"]

Not wanting to make you feel worse, but I can't believe your bridesmaid. Thats awful! I would never dream of letting my friend down, just so I could enjoy HER day!

[/quote]

The worst thing is that this bridesmaid is my future sister in law, so its made things very tough for my other half. But at least she let me know now and didn't mope around looking miserable all day! If i had realised how much trouble adult bridesmaids were going to be i would have taken a leave out of your book Tracy and just had little ones!!

Re: Wedding Stress

Tracy Windler RVN — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 11:29:06 GMT

Not wanting to make you feel worse, but I can't believe your bridesmaid. Thats awful! I would never dream of letting my friend down, just so I could enjoy HER day!

I married my gorgeous hubby 4 months ago, and we had THE BEST DAY EVER! Please, please enjoy it, and don't let other people dictate what you do, or who you invite. Maybe some tears to your Mum / Mum-in-law-to-be about how you don't feel like its your day- lay it on thick, might make them feel bad for taking over!

Indecisive Uncle- tell him he must decide now, or not come at all, as you have to pay for his place. Miserable sod!

I only had 2 little bridesmaids, just for them to have pretty dresses really, as I didn't want to hassle of adult bridesmaids moaning about all and sundry- plus, it would be difficult to choose just a few, I'd end up with 8 or so, as I don't have one or two very good friends, just a big group of extended friends!

I really hope you manage to just relax and enjoy your last few weeks before you say "I do!"

Re: Wedding Stress

Nicola Russell — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 10:06:24 GMT

i think i'm quite lucky, i've only got 2 family members, my mum and an aunt so hopefully i wont have them interferring if i ever get married lol

Re: Wedding Stress

Mac Feather — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 09:29:26 GMT

[quote user="Sepia"]she'll have no one to talk to[/quote]

Oh this brings back memories- I had to invite my brothers best mate n wife so my poor wittle brother (at a tender age of 28) would have someone to talk to!!!!!!!!!!!!! Utterly stupid (even worse my husband never took to my brothers mate)but sometimes its anything for a quiet life.

Organising weddings really bring out some very 'interesting' character traits!

Re: Wedding Stress

Anonymous — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 09:12:59 GMT

I'm getting married in 8 weeks and know just how you feel!!

Most of my problems have been cause by my Grandmother, and exacerbated by my Mum! First of all my Gran was whinging that I hadn't invited her sister (my great aunt..?) and her husband. So I invite them, to keep the peace even though I've met them maybe 2-3 times. Then they RSVP 'no'! So then my Gran is whinging that she'll have no one to talk to and no way of getting there (she couldn't possibly drive her own car..!). So she wants me to invite my uncle! By this point my 20 capacity ceremony venue already has 21 guests so I say no. Then my Mum starts moaning that if I don't invite my Uncle then she'll have to deal with my Gran all day...!

In the end I just turned round and said "sort it our yourselves". I've got enough to be dealing with without the added stress of everyone else's silly problems!

It's rather harsh of your (former) bridesmaid to duck out at the last minute like that! You'll find someone else though, someone who will enjoy the role and make your day extra special for you, I'm sure.

Good luck!

Re: Wedding Stress

Lolita — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:45:26 GMT

We eloped, just me and him, had a fantastic time and didnt have to worry who was fighting with who, who was sitting with who, what bridesmaids wanted, maybe selfish to some, but we did it our way and it was a great day, poor you with the bridesmaid saga, hope you find someone...the run up to the wedding is stressful, I am sure it will all fall into place closer to the time....try not worry and go for a nice spa day to unwind!

Re: Wedding Stress

Shelly vn — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:10:01 GMT

Just a little wedding stress update! My bridesmaid has decided to back out of the wedding. Apparently she would just like to sit back and enjoy the day (wouldn't we all!) so i now have a gorgeous bridesmaids dress and no-one to wear it!

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

sorry about that, just needed to get it out of my system!! All better now!

Re: Wedding Stress

littlehays — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:58:16 GMT

my sister is currently planning her wedding for october and is going through a similar scenario, i never realised how much agro weddings can cause!!! i can definitely see the appeal in going abroad!

Re: Wedding Stress

Shelly vn — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:21:44 GMT

[quote user="mrs mac"]

[quote user="Caro Laithwaite VN MBVNA"]

Hell stir the pot:

Tell the parents you have decided not to get married in the UK you are going away to do it or

Tell them you have just got married in a pvt cerimony.

It should freak them out and give you a bit of a revenge snigger... or am l just evil to suggest the above

[/quote]

Hehehe- I think the respective mothers would have a complete blue funk!

[/quote]

Funny you should say that Caro, me and other half have discussed doing this several times!! But as Mrs Mac said, i think my mother might have some kind of breakdown. Actually maybe thats not such a bad idea........

Re: Wedding Stress

Mac Feather — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 17:12:53 GMT

[quote user="Caro Laithwaite VN MBVNA"]

Hell stir the pot:

Tell the parents you have decided not to get married in the UK you are going away to do it or

Tell them you have just got married in a pvt cerimony.

It should freak them out and give you a bit of a revenge snigger... or am l just evil to suggest the above

[/quote]

Hehehe- I think the respective mothers would have a complete blue funk!