Feeling Grief After Losing A Patient

Re: Feeling Grief After Losing A Patient

Nicola Smith — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 22:25:19 GMT

I agree with everything said above, there are always those special ones that get to you a little more than the others. Sometimes its the patient, other times the bond you have with the owners. If you dont care you shouldnt be doing the job. X

Re: Feeling Grief After Losing A Patient

sandra de seja-martin — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 21:33:57 GMT

[quote user="Steph Barnard SVN"]

I wasn't sure who to talk to about this so I thought I might write a post here.

I came home from work today and felt completely grief stricken. I found myself deeply saddened by the loss of a patient I had been helping care for, for some time. So much so that I broke down in tears.

I have been a trainee nurse for just over 3 months now and I absolutely adore my job. I am very dedicated and have always maintained good composure. There have been many sad situations but none of there have affected me like this one.

I just wanted to ask if this has this happened to any of you and if so how you cope? I felt as if I had an emotional overload and I didn't realize how much it had affected me.

Did I let myself get too attached?

Are there any posts, books, articles etc you could recommend on dealing with work related grief?

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Steph.

[/quote]

I have been a VN for 15 years - some days things just get to you - you become attached - what you are feeling is ok, i still remember a patient cought up in a house fire - you are just human - i also remember coming home on a friday night and crying to my husband because i was working for the RSPCA and they had some kittens stolen - sometimes things just get to you - have a cry - remember you are human and you are trying to do your best and do the job, good luck with your training!!!

Re: Feeling Grief After Losing A Patient

Saskia Quinn — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 21:18:58 GMT

[quote user="Steph Barnard SVN"]

Thank you so much for your support and feedback guys. It really means a lot to me.

I feel that some patients just go straight to my soul. With this one he reminded me so much of the dog I grew up with. She was PTS after her cancer spread and she was in too much pain. This dog was large as life and he just had a way about him that reminded me so much of her. He had cancer too. I knew from the moment I met him the prognosis was not great and realistically at his old age there was little that could be done. I guess I am grieving for them both. He is the first case I have seen that died on the table.

Feeling better after having a good cry. Think its been long over due.

Im glad you are feeling better now Steph.

You are only human, we all get upset from time to time, especially after a case we have been particularly involved with, I have had a few in my time of nursing.

One I do remember (but wont go into any detail) was of an unstable diabetic. I had nursed him and treated him medically for most of the week, come the saturday morning, he passed away. I wasnt there, it never should have happened, but thats all I can say. This dog, even to this day, brings a tear to my eye.

You are not alone xxx

[/quote]

Re: Feeling Grief After Losing A Patient

Leanne Tyreman-Guest — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 12:42:05 GMT

Hope you are feeling better now!! Steph, we all feel this sometimes, (or we should do!) its a sign that we care!!

Ive cried many times over the 12 or so years i have been nursing! i have had the good fortune to have met some very special animals who have touched my heart

And, also cried like a baby when they have gone!! xxx

Re: Feeling Grief After Losing A Patient

Stephanie Barnard-Horne RVN CertFN MBVNA — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 20:26:52 GMT

Thank you so much for your support and feedback guys. It really means a lot to me.

Feeling better after having a good cry. Think its been long over due.

Re: Feeling Grief After Losing A Patient

paula morgan — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 20:17:35 GMT

Yip we all feel like that sometimes, for me it was a wee westie with dry eye that was pts,I was devastated, could not stop crying! I still think about him and even done a report for college on KCS, it really affected me, poor wee guy x

Re: Feeling Grief After Losing A Patient

Sally Seddon — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 20:00:29 GMT

Echo what everyone else has said really. I think if you stop getting upset from time to time then its time to change career. I quite often come home and have a weep to myself, we have a tough emotional job. Chin up hun, sounds like your in the right job

Re: Feeling Grief After Losing A Patient

Maisy — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:50:02 GMT

I think we'll have all felt like this at some point and it's not necessarily a bad thing either. There will always be patients that 'stick' for whatever reason and its perfectly normal to feel emotional if they die/pts (or just go home )

Don't beat yourself up about it - you know you provided good nursing care and that the patient was comfortable/clean/well cared for when they were with you. That itself is what this job is about and if you didn't feel like that at some point, then perhaps nursing wouldn't the career for you.

Re: Feeling Grief After Losing A Patient

Nick Shackleton — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:44:42 GMT

I agree with what others have said previously! Try not to beat yourself up about it. We are only human.

Re: Feeling Grief After Losing A Patient

Steph Worsley — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:41:59 GMT

No problem at all, been doing this for about 11 years full time and I still get upset over some of our patients, I now work in referal practice so dont see patients for quite as long usually as normal practice, however it is usually very intense when we do see them

Re: Feeling Grief After Losing A Patient

Felicity Caldwell — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:31:05 GMT

Awww bless ya!!

I completley agree with Phrin - it shows that you care and that you are a fantastic nurse!! And yes we do all get like this from time to time - I definatley do!!! Apart from being a bundle of emotions and hormones 9 times out of 10 - it is still nice to know that I love my job and my patients when I do get upset!!

Keep your chin up love xxx

Re: Feeling Grief After Losing A Patient

Phrin Vernon RVN — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:07:49 GMT

We all feel like this from time to time.. I think it is a sign of a good nurse..

I still remember special patients from 10 years ago, and feel a bit weepy when I think of them - 'Midge' A diabetic cairn terrier circa '99, Sam a lab that went off his back legs circa '02, Domonic, a wiemeraner puppy PDA patient that did really well until a few weeks post op circa '04, and so on...

Hugs