Grrrrrrrr........

Re: Grrrrrrrr........

Claire Cameron — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 21:08:21 GMT

[quote user="Susan Jackson RVN MBVNA"]

[quote user="icklesal"]

We dont have a joint account but are meant to be setting one up, i dont dare let him look after that one tho!

I agree if he is left to it then he will learn, i just wish his mum would let him be and he would stop relying on her. She is a really nice woman and we do get on she just really p***es me off when she still treats him this way.

Have taken many deep breaths this afternoon

[/quote]

Don't do it, i thought it would be good with my ex once and had to go in on numerous occasions paying off charges for dd etc. think i was charge £150 one month. Hence why he's the EX!

[/quote]

DON'T DO IT! I can't say this enough. My ex kindly maxed our overdraft, then did a runner and the bank will come after both of you for money, whether you pay your half and he pays nothing, they will still hound you for the money. They don't care how they get the money.

I'm in debt because of an ex and a joint account. Worst mistake I ever made!

Re: Grrrrrrrr........

Susan Jackson — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 21:04:51 GMT

[quote user="icklesal"]

We dont have a joint account but are meant to be setting one up, i dont dare let him look after that one tho!

Have taken many deep breaths this afternoon

[/quote]

Don't do it, i thought it would be good with my ex once and had to go in on numerous occasions paying off charges for dd etc. think i was charge £150 one month. Hence why he's the EX!

Re: Grrrrrrrr........

Sally Seddon — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 13:02:03 GMT

Also meant to say..............

I do appreciate your comments and am taking them all on board

Re: Grrrrrrrr........

Sally Seddon — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 13:01:10 GMT

Ive thought about all that and im not ready to give up on him yet. We have been together for nearly 3 years and i really dont think he would intentionally screw me over. I think its more a case of him growning some balls and telling his mum to back off. He is immature in that way, im sure he is scared of his mum because she gives him so much grief. I cant help but think (and im not making excuses for him ) that becasue she has always done it for him he is too lazy to do it himself. Oh i dunno, its a hard situation to explain and be in, im not ready to break up with him over this and i might end up being a fool but im gonna keep trying to change things

Re: Grrrrrrrr........

Caro Laithwaite VN — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 11:16:53 GMT

And you would risk someone who wont discuss safe finance with your money and your name? And who will end up paying his debt from past problems out of what account?

Re: Grrrrrrrr........

Heather Christie — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 11:15:20 GMT

Wow icklesal, that's pretty bad. Agree with all others re joint account. Sorry to sound like a btch but do u really wanna be with him when he won't take responsibility for himself and he gonna go running to mummy every time u try n make him grow up? Don't know him as a person obviously, maybe he has a lot of redeeming features but if he's always going to be this passive and let mum decide then isn't that gonna put a lot of strain on ur relationship?

Re: Grrrrrrrr........

Sally Seddon — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 07:34:12 GMT

Your totally right, i have very little money as it is. If i do a joint account i might be seriously screwed over!

He had a house with his ex fiance, joint accounts etc too. From what i believe she spent a fortune on clothes with their money, if he had looked after the account maybe it wouldnt of happened! He is now in ALOT of debt cos of that. Ive told him sooo many times about managing his own finances, he just gets really annoyed and refuses to discuss it

Re: Grrrrrrrr........

Caro Laithwaite VN — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 21:05:47 GMT

Bear in mind a joint bank account all details no matter what you say and what he promises will be given to mummy and daddy even if he promises he wont.

Re: Grrrrrrrr........

Mac Feather — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 20:58:51 GMT

[quote user="icklesal"]We dont have a joint account but are meant to be setting one up[/quote]

Be very glad you dont have a joint account!

Re: Grrrrrrrr........

Caro Laithwaite VN — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 20:39:47 GMT

I third all that's said about joint accounts. He is not mature enough and to many people have had their lives screwed up with such accounts.

Re: Grrrrrrrr........

loopylou711 — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 20:02:08 GMT

[quote user="sal the 1st"]

dont set up a joint account unless he can prove for a considerable time that he can sort out his own finances - until he can do that he isnt safe to be part of a joint account, you could end up very angry/upset and very broke. He cannot respect his own money so dont expect him to respect yours!

[/quote]

I second that! It's a massive step for a joint account when he is hardly responsible for his finances! I would have a word and tell him to take some responsibility for his money and account!!

But Sal his the nail on the head!!

Re: Grrrrrrrr........

Sal the 1st — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 19:52:18 GMT

Re: Grrrrrrrr........

Sally Seddon — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 19:03:40 GMT

We dont have a joint account but are meant to be setting one up, i dont dare let him look after that one tho!

Have taken many deep breaths this afternoon

Re: Grrrrrrrr........

Mac Feather — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 16:44:47 GMT

Do you have a joint account?

Theres part of me that thinks he wont learn to manage his money unless hes left to do it. Its amazing what you learn when you are left to it.

I would politely ignore his mums requests/suggestions regarding how to care for him, hes already got 1 mum, does she really think he needs another one!

Nice that she loves her boy but hes old enough to look after himself.

Deep breaths Icklesal!

Re: Grrrrrrrr........

lskm 23 — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 15:05:57 GMT

That would drive me mad. My sister-in-law is treated like that by her parents and the number of times she has been bailed out of serious stuff is amazing. She has no concept of money and I think she thinks It does grow on trees, and if not Mummy and Daddy will bail me out.

Good luck with speaking to him.

Re: Grrrrrrrr........

Sally Seddon — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 15:01:27 GMT

In the past she has made comments about how i need to look after him now and make sure he always has clean clothes to wear! What century is she living in?? Im certainly not a slave and wont be treated like one!