Stupid client - made me laugh!

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

caz vn1 — Fri, 09 May 2014 16:47:57 GMT

I had a good one last week.

A guy comes in with his French Bull dog bitch. She has given birth to one healthy puppy.

Guy: we were hoping she was going to have more than one puppy

Me: well it is her first litter and sometimes they do just have one, thats just nature for you

Guy: thing is we are a bit concerned about something

Me : oh?

Guy: yes her bottom boobs seem really large compared to the rest and we were wondering if you could check incase the puppies have got stuck inside there?

Me ??????!!!!!!!

er no sir that is not possible

Guy: are you sure cos they would be exactly the right size for a pup

Me: not possible

Ah the joys of breeders! LOL

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

vickicannings — Fri, 09 May 2014 14:21:12 GMT

I know this thread started years ago but had a funny one and thought maybe you'd all like a laugh!

So, a man calls us in a flustered state "Hi, er yeah, I've got an injured bird in my garden. I'd never seen one like it so my wife looked it up and it's a pelican."

Me "A pelican? It is definitely a pelican?"

Him "Yup, definitely. Never seen one of them before, its well nice. And it has hurt it's leg, limping like. I've got it in a box and RSPCA won't be out for hours and I think it might be dying. It's gone all limp"

I asked him to hold and chatted to our vet who said to bring in immediately. We then called the RSPCA ourselves, and then being near a zoo phoned them asking if a pelican had gone missing. They replied no but said they would come and collect if needed or send someone out to advise us. So we all sit there waiting excitedly and a little nervous about handling a pelican.

15 minutes later, in he comes with a massive box, him and his wife carrying it between them. We take the box out to the prep room, gauntlets on and open it up ridiculously carefully......

It was a partridge.

When I went back out to inform it was a partridge not a pelican his wife pipes up "Oh you bloody idiot I told you it was a partridge" He then replies "Oh yeah sorry, got my words mixed up."

There is nothing we can do to help these people.....!

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

S-J — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 23:18:53 GMT

ahhh its people like this that make u wish u had to pass an exam to have a pet

Q1 ur animals bleeding from a wound. do u ?
a. ring the vet but ignore everything
b. use a towl and super glue to mend it
c. ignore it and it will go away

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Kate Claxton DipAVN(Med)VN — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 23:13:18 GMT

We had a Sunday call once at Bristol PDSA on a nice Summer day...

"Wot it is roight, is we're aving a baaarbecue and me mate brought 'is Staff, and the dogs 'ad a foight, and 'is Staff's bit moi Staff's year roight off! It's bleedin everywhere!"

Advice given on dressing ear if poss, ascertaining that ear was actually severed (it was), client informed to bring dog in immediately.

Response? A long pause, followed by "Yeah but love, we've just put the burgers on?"

Our shocked response of "Er, he still needs to come down now...." led to the client stating rather stroppily, "There's people here wot gotta eat, look. Be in later." and hanging up.

Client arrived 3hrs later clutching a Staffy with a pair of bloodied knickers on its head, and its severed ear in their hand. Receptionist sarcastically asked if he'd enjoyed his food, and the response was, "Yeah love it was lush. Now look, the vet needs to see him roight away, ee's bleeding!"

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Jeniflower — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 04:52:18 GMT

I love the explainations that begin "what it is right... I've got this staffie from my mate right...."

I used to constantly have this discussion:

me: "so if he begins licking his wound, you may need to purchase a buster collar to stop that from happening"

client: " oh he won't like that, I'm not doing that"

me: well, you may have to use one to prevent his wound opening up and delaying healing. We don't want him to underfo another risky general anaesthetic and have to begin the whole process again, do we?

client: " oh well I can't put that on him, I'm not doing that"

Me: "ok, well see how it goes at home then"

client: "what will I do to stop him licking then?"

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Gillian Mostyn — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 22:27:05 GMT

I am having a good week for daft clients...

Happened to answer the phone (receptionist busy) and was asked if we castrate guinea pigs, and what was the cost. After I answered her questions, she asked if she would need to leave the guinea pig.... ....after which she asked if it would have an anaesthetic!!! I reassued her it would - but she asked again and then explained it was because she didn't want it to have too much pain!!! Do these people think we just strap them down and listen to the screaming....?????

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Lucy-lu — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 22:18:26 GMT

Am loving these classic client comments! So funny and yet so scary at the same time!!!

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Sal the 1st — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 21:56:30 GMT

the best animal in a box I was ever presented with was......

Gentleman arrived at the side door with this really huge carboard carton that had contained a really expensive fridge he was fitting in his new kitchen. He told me to be very careful as it was very vicious and not to get my hands too near without gloves and dont take the top off the box unless you are ready for it they can jump very high you know and if I was at all nervous I should ask the vet or the male nurse to deal with it

on opening the lid on the box very cautiously what did I find but a very small terrified fieldmouse - the box it came in was nearly as big as me!!

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Maisy — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 11:15:30 GMT

[quote user="Kate Claxton DipAVN(Med)VN"]

They can be stupider - Angiy once had to argue the toss with a woman at the Bristol RSPCA OOH who brought in a stray tortoise, concerned it wasn't eating. On opening the box, there was a large potato surrounded by salad items. I believe Angiy remained professional throughout, even when the woman was insistent that she get a second opinion from one of the inspectors....

[/quote]

She could have had a good meal out of that! Words do fail me sometimes...

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

A Little TLC — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 10:52:11 GMT

[quote user="Kate Claxton DipAVN(Med)VN"]

[/quote]

HAahahaha!!!!!!!

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Kate Claxton DipAVN(Med)VN — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 09:47:10 GMT

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Mlwelsh — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 08:59:29 GMT

My friend was working in practice and had a client bring in their pet in a shoe box. he explained to her that he had just bought this rottwieler (sorry about the spelling) puppy but it wasnt eating dog food, but happily munched on grass, and that it wasnt growing. He was really concerned about this puppy so my friend opened the shoe box to have a look at it and to take it out to the vets.

It was a guinea pig!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How this guy believed that it was a dog we still havent worked out but my friend had to go get the vet to explain the situation as he didnt believe her when she told him it was a guinea pig!!! I have heard of stupid but surely no-one can be this stupid??

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Leanne Tyreman-Guest — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 08:36:03 GMT

Oh, erm, Hiya, Im just wanting a bit of adviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice really................

That is my least favourite out of all what the clients say to me!!

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Gillian Mostyn — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 23:52:59 GMT

I got a good one the other day. Client ringing for advice on how he should be housing his bearded dragon. Started going through all the usual stuff and then asked him what substrate he's using - he replied 'sand'. When I told him that newspaper is a better choice he pointed out he'd been told by the man at the pet shop specifically NOT to use newpaper as there is a fire risk - the heat pad UNDERNEATH the viv might get the paper too hot and set it alight.

Obviously not worried about cooking the lizard tho....

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Claire Coulthard RVN — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 20:44:45 GMT

[quote user="icklesal"]

brilliant!!

ah i love the calls that start off "errr what it is right, ive got this staffie" we get alot of those!

[/quote]

argh "well what it is right". i hate that

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Doolally — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 19:55:37 GMT

I had someone call me about 10pm the other week.

Him: Umm there's a cat in my garden, i'm not sure if it's dead, I called the council and they told me to call you

Me: Well if you can get it down to us we can take a look at it and treat as necessary

Him: I don't think I can do that I think it's dead

Me: Well if you bring it in i'll scan it and see if it's got a microchip so I can inform the owners

Him: I don't want to touch it, I don't want to catch anything, can't you send someone out to come and get it

Me: I don't think you're going to catch anything from a dead cat if you wash your hands after. I'm afraid I can't send anyone out as we're running an emergency service to treat sick and injured animals

Him (getting very agitated!): Well I don't think it needs treatment, it's dead. I need someone to take it now, it's upsetting my daughter, she's got an A level exam tomorrow!!!

Me: I'm sorry there's nothing I can offer to do, especially at 10pm tonight, maybe ask around your neighbours as it's likely to be one of their much loved pets.

Then he hung up on me

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Caro Laithwaite VN — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 09:13:28 GMT

No need just dress up as a peahen and strut around no one needs to climb up then!

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Brogan Proud — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 22:56:34 GMT

just had a rather funny call... remember im OOH EMERGENCY!!! Clinic lol!

ME: Pet A&E how can i help...

Woman: right well what it is right theres a Peacock on my neighbours roof and hes dead noisy! hes been there for ages...

ME:.....ok......

Woman: well what can i do ?

Me: Well... Iv actually already called the RSPCA today about a peacock in that area so it has been reported and they are now waiting for someone to call reporting one missing.

Woman: right well the thing is theres kids that live in this street and the noise is keeping them up!

me: well i cant come out and get the bird (had visions of getting a ladder and shimmying up there!) and we dont take Peacocks. The RSPB are the bird people and they wont take it so.....

Woman: well i think its layed eggs up there cos that would be why its hanging around..

me: what colour is it?

Woman: Blue

Me: its a boy.

Woman: aw right....

Me: sorry i couldnt help. like i say it has been reported, just adv people not to feed him or encourage him and hell soon move on.

Woman: ok thanks...

Ee really what was she expecting me to do!!!! get a vet to fly up and fetch it down...??

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Sally Seddon — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 19:02:40 GMT

Client comes in tonight, first thing she says to me "i havnt brought my purse, i dont carry it around with me when i leave the house"

Oh right so when you go to the supermarket you dont take your bag, strange that!!

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Caro Laithwaite VN — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 17:12:42 GMT

6 phone calls from a client whose cat did need seeing she couldnt get it into the carrier, it did not want to go in the door.
Can you come and sedate the cat can you come and put it into the box can you come and collect the cat each time a different idea.. with of course cost an issue.

She turned up eventually and cat was in a huge dog crate with 2 doors on. One of the puppy training crates you have to carefully manoeuvre to get through the door it is so wide. It took 2 nurses to carry it in......and she had been unable to get the cat into it!!!.

Cat admitted... dog crate sent home

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Mac Feather — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 16:17:44 GMT

[quote user="little demona"]

[quote user="Kerry Haigh RVN A1 Cert SAN MBVNA"]

'NO I said I have a little DON-KEY'

'ooooooooh.... a WHAT??? A donkey????'

[/quote]

hahahahahaha ROFL that made me laugh! I would have loved to see that conversation!

[/quote]

Id have probably had the Xmas song 'little donkey ' in my head for hours after that! lol

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Anneke Kuipers — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 04:13:06 GMT

[quote user="Kerry Haigh RVN A1 Cert SAN MBVNA"]

'NO I said I have a little DON-KEY'

'ooooooooh.... a WHAT??? A donkey????'

[/quote]

hahahahahaha ROFL that made me laugh! I would have loved to see that conversation!

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Kerry Spain — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 23:23:16 GMT

I had a client come into the waiting room last Saturday morning and say

'Hello there, can you see my little doggy?'

'Why yes of course just bring him in'

*Blank expression on clients face*

'No I have a little doggy outside'

*confused expression on mine*

'Eerm yes just bring it in!'

'NO I said I have a little DON-KEY'

'ooooooooh.... a WHAT??? A donkey????'

aaah classic comedy moment, yes he had a donkey in a trailer HAHAHAHA

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Vicky RVN — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 22:39:26 GMT

[quote user="Jennie"]

client (on phone) 'hello, can I order some more of that urinal diet for my cat please"

[/quote]

Hahaha! NICE!!!

Re: Stupid client - made me laugh!

Jennie — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 18:36:49 GMT

client (on phone) 'hello, can I order some more of that urinal diet for my cat please"