In Laws

Re: In Laws

xXx Cat xXx — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 22:52:50 GMT

Thank you all again for your kind words and advice.

When I got home on friday I made sure I went downstairs to see the inlaws and they appeared to be very happy for us both.

I'm thinking it is just me being a little paranoid and if I keep my head down do what is asked of me time will fly and we will have our own place and this will all be in the past.

xXx

Re: In Laws

Saskia Quinn — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 10:28:32 GMT

Hang on in there Tracy, things always have a way of sorting themselves out in the end.

You know where we are anytime xxx

Re: In Laws

Sandra Taylor RVN, MBVNA — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 23:55:54 GMT

At the start of my relationship with Hubby, I did not see eye to eye with my in laws... and when I say the start, this went on for 10 yrs... Gary is an only child and only granchild on both sides of his family so you can imagine.... he is well molly coddled.

Anyway I have been with him now for 26 yrs and I have to say my mother and father in law are like parents to me now and I love them to bits, hang in there

Re: In Laws

Vicky RVN — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 22:31:28 GMT

So sorry to hear the way they are being to you. I don't have any advice other than what has been said, try to have a sit down and chat with them.

I hope it works out in the end, look after yourself x

Re: In Laws

Emma Purnell — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 18:26:53 GMT

I am in the opposite position - my in-laws have always been so lovely to me but my own parents have always been terrible to my fiance. It is so hard, but if he sticks by you and you persevere they will see how serious you are and, in time, it will improve.

We have been together 9 years now and my parents are now starting to be more civil and we have our own home and have finally got engaged!!

Good luck, it is tough on both sides of the couple - it really got me down.

Re: In Laws

Saz jam — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 20:48:37 GMT

This probably won't be a great help but I understand the problem with inlaws! I have been going out with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years and the first 2 we lived at his mums, it was a NIGHTMARE we both stayed out the way, helped with the house work, kept quiet and everything else but it was never good enough. As soon as we moved out I became 'golden balls' and I've never looked back!

Basically what I'm trying to say is hang in there until you get your own place and hope that things turn out as well! Remember your health is more important than anything so bugger them and don't let them stress you out anymore! (easier said than done, I know!)

Re: In Laws

S-J — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 14:24:17 GMT

i dont have any advice for you but would just like to say,

congratulations on your engagement and i hope everything works out well for you

Re: In Laws

xXx Cat xXx — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 14:04:19 GMT

Thanks again peeps just being able to talk about it has made me feel better and more positive.

You all are a great bunch of people and make the forum and site a pleasure to be on.

Take care all

xXx

Re: In Laws

Caro Laithwaite VN — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 12:15:31 GMT

I know l struggled with hubs mum when we got back from tenerife and were waiting for the house to go through. l worked and when home stayed in my room. Never offered to clean etc as it was made clear to me l was underfoot, never "said" but easy to read. Hub couldnt understand why l avoided his mother and why l was upset so at least your fiancé understands and l was only short term there.

Good luck with getting things sorted. It may be worth mentioning in your chat your health to just make them aware but slide it in so they do not think you are trying to use that.

Re: In Laws

Mac Feather — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 12:09:44 GMT

That sounds brilliant that your partner and his sister are supportive, must be a relief to be able to chat with them. Maybe his folks are just being super protective- not that it makes it any easier on you.

Re: In Laws

xXx Cat xXx — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 11:52:19 GMT

Thanks for the reply peeps.

They have always been on and off with me. His parents are councelors and do amazing work for the people they help but it just seems to me that they are trying to push me out which makes me more determined to stay with my man.

His ex-wife is nasty treated him very badly, did what she wanted to do and he became primary career for his childeren during the day and he worked at night. After his ex kicked him out she kept all the money he gave her so she could move from Portsmouth to Somerset and my man now travels their and back every other friday to collect his children and then again on the sunday to take them back. I support him in this and we are trying to get a court order sorted as she will book things for the children when she knows we are due to have them and only tell us on the Friday morning.

My man understands my position and says it doesnt matter what his parents think as long as we are together and supports me the best he can which is all I can hope for.

I will talk to my man again and see if we can talk to his parents together but I know they feel I'm like his ex which I'm not as I take care of him and his kids and wouldnt do any thing to harm them.

On the plus side his sister is thrilled that we are engaged and I will also have a chat with her as she understands her parents better.

Thanks for your support peeps I will keep you updated as things pan out

xXx

Re: In Laws

Mac Feather — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 09:52:57 GMT

Maybe the inlaws are wary of their son being in a relationship after his marriage breaking up. Is it just since you got engaged that they have become frosty? I always feel mums in particular can be a bit 'funny' over their sons.

I have to say Im concerned for your health- you have alot going on and as Lolita said stress is not good for you.

Take care.

Re: In Laws

Lolita — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 08:15:26 GMT

it seems to me that maybe they are trying to push you out! I agree with Mrs Dot Dot, have a heart to heart, ask them, in nice terms, what is the problem, cause obviously they have one, also u have to think of your health too, and the stress isnt good for you, living in a constant state of stress is awful and your health will continue to deteriorate. Congrats on your engagement btw, it should be an exciting time! But they have kinda ruined it for u! And its not like you are with your fiance a short amount of time, 2.5 years is a long time, is it just recent that they are being unreasonable? You mentioned u have a lie in when the kids are there, maybe they feel u should get up with the kids? Dunno just a thought, anyway good luck!

Re: In Laws

Mrs Dot Dot — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 07:39:49 GMT

Wow Tracy, you have alot to deal with, and it seems to me that you are coping with everything amazingly well! I should think the stress affects your diabetes doesn't it?

The only thing I can suggest is that you have a heart to heart with his parents(if you haven't done already) ... explain your plan for the future, say how grateful you are etc for them letting you stay there.... ask if there is anything else that they want you to do, or is there something you do that they don't like etc etc and try and explain to them how you feel..... basically be upfront and honest with them and see what response you get.

If you don't sort it out, it is bound to affect your health more, longterm. What does your partner say about it?

Good Luck X