Saying goodbye

Re: Saying goobye

Selena Carnell — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 13:27:41 GMT

Only just found this, but what you describe from her doesnt sound very healthy.

She could become more hostile and controlling towards who you see,

I'd be careful and look towards moving out, as it cant be very comfy there.

Re: Saying goobye

Saskia Quinn — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 10:22:21 GMT

I'm a bit late coming into this now Claire, but I echo the advice others have given. I think you can never be truely happy there and you need to move out and forget about your flatmate. She is making you very miserable at the moment.

As for Grub, I am sure the little star will be fine, just teething problems settling in I am sure.

Re: Saying goobye

Vicky RVN — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 20:53:56 GMT

Sorry to hear how rubbish things still are for you at home

I'm sure Grub will be just fine once he's settled in, but i can understand how much you must miss him x

Re: Saying goobye

Claire Cameron — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 17:14:50 GMT

[quote user="mrs mac"]

Im sorry to hear about your situation, dont know what to suggest. Sounds mighty stressful to me.

[/quote]

Thanks Heather.

I don't know what to do either. Just trying to keep my distance at the minute

Re: Saying goobye

Mac Feather — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 17:13:35 GMT

Im sorry to hear about your situation, dont know what to suggest. Sounds mighty stressful to me.

Re: Saying goobye

Claire Cameron — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 17:03:27 GMT

[quote user="sal the 1st"]

i'm sure Grub will be fine - just taking a little time to settle in and I bet he is being spoilt rotten.

Ok so we are back to telling her you have noticed she doesnt seem to be very happy and you arent happy either so what has to happen to make you both happier

From what you have written I dont think (may be wrong) she has any issues with your animals except that you spend more time with them than you do her.

She does sound lonely and maybe she thought if you flat shared with her she would be less lonely??? just speculating. If she has been alone a long time she may now feel it is too difficult or uncomfortable to be around people and this high opinion may be a defensive mechanism

or there is the possibility she just doesnt know what she wants from life

[/quote]

I honestly think she wants me to be her only friend, I don't see any other friends or my boyfriend. That's the only time she's happy. She HATES it if I mention any other friends or boyfriends or if I arrange to see anyone. It's weird?

Re: Saying goobye

Sal the 1st — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:06:55 GMT

i'm sure Grub will be fine - just taking a little time to settle in and I bet he is being spoilt rotten.

Ok so we are back to telling her you have noticed she doesnt seem to be very happy and you arent happy either so what has to happen to make you both happier

From what you have written I dont think (may be wrong) she has any issues with your animals except that you spend more time with them than you do her.

or there is the possibility she just doesnt know what she wants from life

Re: Saying goobye

loopylou711 — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:06:34 GMT

Could ou take him back?

As for the girl! I HAD a friend just like this well she was social but she was alwas mro buddy with one of us anyways she ended up splititng our group down th middle and 2bh lifes never been better! I miss the other girl who left our group but as for the the jealous one she had to be the centre of attention and would ALWAYS make sure everyone knew she was better than them!

I would say have a heart to heart with her. If everything ou do fails a new place seems like the only solution!

Re: Saying goobye

Claire Cameron — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 23:55:09 GMT

[quote user="sal the 1st"]

yes I feel from what you have described she is the jealous type - there is a way to short circuit this very effectively. Invite her for a night out with maybe some of your friends (but make sure you are all nice to her) Christmas is the ideal excuse and it might get you a quieter life - or play cupid and introduce her to a 'friend'

[/quote]

She's been invited out but....

a) refuses to go out unless its just me and her

b) is awful to my friends

or c) causes a scene about something or another

As for playing cupid....I honestly don't know who'd be attracted to her. I'm not saying she's ugly etc but she's not a nice person and is awful when anyone first meets them. She has a high opinion of herself and assumes she's a better person than everyone else

I just don't know what to do about her

On a different note, I just had an e-mail from Grubbys new mum and she said he's not eaten well and seems to be really missing me, I respect her honesty but almost wish she'd lied and told me he's fine as I'm now sat writing this with tears pouring down my cheeks wondering if I've made the right decision

Re: Saying goobye

Sal the 1st — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 23:52:14 GMT

yes I feel from what you have described she is the jealous type, she may also be quite insecure from what you have described (or only secure in her own comfrot zone) - there is a way to short circuit this very effectively. Invite her for a night out with maybe some of your friends (but make sure you are all nice to her) Christmas is the ideal excuse and it might get you a quieter life - or play cupid and introduce her to a 'friend'

Re: Saying goobye

Claire Cameron — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 23:43:37 GMT

[quote user="sal the 1st"]

just another thought but is she the jealous type?

[/quote]

Yeah, I think she's hugely jealous of

a) My relationship with my boyfriend

b) How close me and him are

c) I have a social life

She's the kind of person who can only ever have one friend and if we went out in a group she'd almost fight for my attention for some reason. and she slags ALL my friends of and my boyfriend to the hilt!

And due to her lovely personality she doesn't have many friends

Re: Saying goobye

Sal the 1st — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 21:06:01 GMT

ok if she doesnt want you to leave how about telling her how unhappy you are at the moment - so unhappy you are finding it difficult to stay . Put the ball back in her court. Ask her what needs to happen so things can be a bit friendlier - theres no point in being miserable if you can do something about it.

just another thought but is she the jealous type?

Re: Saying goobye

Sally Howe — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 16:04:53 GMT

[quote user="loopylou711"]

[quote user="Sally Roberts"]

I've got this to come with one of my hand rears.

Hubby said 9 cats is too much!!!! (only 1 extra)

[/quote]

Get him involved and get him attached he wont get rid of it then lol

[/quote]

Tried already. He likes him but....

Think the 3am pounce on toes isn't helping.

I named him "Starvin Marvin", his litter mate died within an hour of getting to us and Marvin wasn't far off. Think if we didn't have so many other pets I would have been allowed to keep him.

Re: Saying goobye

loopylou711 — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 15:57:20 GMT

[quote user="Sally Roberts"]

I've got this to come with one of my hand rears.

Hubby said 9 cats is too much!!!! (only 1 extra)

[/quote]

Get him involved and get him attached he wont get rid of it then lol

Re: Saying goobye

Sally Howe — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 15:55:58 GMT

I've got this to come with one of my hand rears.

Hubby said 9 cats is too much!!!! (only 1 extra)

Re: Saying goobye

loopylou711 — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 15:53:12 GMT

tried gumtree? Or jsut a general google search of places in your area? She needs a good slap! But then I wouldn't evne give her that cos i think she would probably like it and would excuse her behavoir with it!

Hope grub setttling in well in his new home. Least you know he will be looked after well and spoiled rotten!

Re: Saying goobye

Claire Cameron — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 15:49:33 GMT

[quote user="loopylou711"]

I wouldn't even giv her the option of asking. I would find a new flat and leave. to hell with her! Shes a bitch and deserves whats comming! Sorry if that is harsh but she clearly is not a nice person at all!

[/quote]

She isn't a nice person at all. Am looking for somewhere but struggling

Re: Saying goobye

loopylou711 — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 15:48:42 GMT

Re: Saying goobye

Claire Cameron — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 15:30:31 GMT

[quote user="sal the 1st"]

Claire have you tried asking your flatmate if she wants you to leave? - if she says yes then at least you know where you stand with her. And if she doesnt want you to leave (ie she wants/needs your rent) maybe asking her will be enough for her to realise you are thinking that way

[/quote]

Hi Sal

I've asked her and she said no

Re: Saying goobye

Nikki Graef — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 13:09:18 GMT

She sounds horrid, were you friends before you moved in or was she just a random you found advertising for a flat mate? Its hard when the flat belongs to the other person too like the house i live in belongs to my housemate so i always feel like its her house, luckily though she is nice!! Im guessing its her flat? Otherwise i would have been like tough he's staying!!!

I agree with sal ask her if she wants you to move out, i couldnt live with someone horrid, find somewhere else to live and leave her to be mean on her own!

Its a shame if she was a friend before hand i have a friend who fell out with another friend after they lived together and they were such good friends before

Re: Saying goobye

Sal the 1st — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 08:51:11 GMT

Re: Saying goobye

Steph Worsley — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 07:35:20 GMT

Aw Claire I'm sorry you had to give grub up.....there are some right bitches out there!!!!

Re: Saying goobye

Tracy Windler RVN — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 02:11:39 GMT

I loved my hand-rears, had them from 3 days and I will always think fondly of them, but MY GOD, I was glad to get rid of them by 8 weeks! They were causing havoc and wrecking the place! I'd do it again in a heartbeat, but it was tough!

Re: Saying goobye

loopylou711 — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 00:29:04 GMT

[quote user="Claire BearRVN"]

[quote user="loopylou711"]

awww!!

Least he will be well llooked after and will mkae a huge difference to the womans life! Your flat mate is a bitch though!!

[/quote]

She's a massive bitch.

She was slagging me off on Facebook for having my boyfriend over tonight. Petty.....say it to my face lol

[/quote]

omg! Get yourself out of there!!

Re: Saying goobye

Claire Cameron — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 22:55:50 GMT

[quote user="STRVN"]

First of all well done you for rearing such a lovely wee man, I have been following his progress too and he is a wee star.

Second ,glad he is in a loving new home, you are a Star

[/quote]

Thanks!

I'm devastated. It's bittersweet. I miss him so much.

Even my boyfriend, who has never had animals totally fell for him and said today that he wished he was there running around