Nettiquette

Re: Nettiquette

Katie Tallett RVN MBVNA — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 08:51:10 GMT

[quote user="Arlo Guthrie"]

Alternatively, accept the request, wait a week, and then removed friend from list. On Facebook, they are not alerted when that happens, and probably won't even notice.

[/quote]

now thats sneaky!! sounds right up my street!

Re: Nettiquette

Arlo Guthrie — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:06:24 GMT

[quote user="mrs mac"]You know all these social networking sites, well do any of you get requests to be added as a friend (by people from school days that you never liked or they bullied you etc) and you really arent sure about adding them? If so what do you do? Do you ignore them or message them to say thanks but no thanks.[/quote]

Really interesting question!

I think the best thing is just to ignore unless the request comes from someone you really WOULD like to make contact with.

Alternatively, accept the request, wait a week, and then removed friend from list. On Facebook, they are not alerted when that happens, and probably won't even notice.

Re: Nettiquette

Sandra Taylor RVN, MBVNA — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:30:55 GMT

[quote user="Maisy"]

Oh dear! On the persons profile underneath their picture there is the option to remove friend

[/quote]

Cheers Maisy

Re: Nettiquette

Vicky RVN — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:44:27 GMT

Well said Sal.

Re: Nettiquette

Sal the 1st — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:28:00 GMT

yes I feel if adding a person as a friend requires 'forgiveness' (maybe not the exactly the right word) then it has to come from both sides. For some people that cannot find that forgiveness it doesnt necessarily mean they are holding a grudge - it may mean that they have been very hurt by something a person has said or done in the past and remembering a past event and how it worked out they are then scared to take a chance with this person again. Not what I would call holding a grudge.

this sums things up for me very eloquently

'The Gestalt Prayer

I do my thing, and you do your thing

I am not in this world to live up to your expectations

You are not in this world to live up to mine

You are you and I am I

And if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful

If not it cant be helped '

Why do I get the impression there is an undercurrent to some of the postings on this thread?

Re: Nettiquette

loopylou711 — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 12:24:10 GMT

Hmm I take your points steph about people growing up and things. But in school I was fat and wasn't the pressiest thing to look at and was bullied something awful/. Having left school I got my self down to 10 stone and look great for it. Now if guys and girls add me from school who were nothing but a bunch of bullies in school for the way I looked regardless of them growing up or not am not going to add them EVER! I wouldn't say am holding grudges but deciding that some people really are not worth time and effort. I have f2 best friends from school and that shall do me! My facebook number of friends may be low but least I know I talk to most of them and it's just not a number!

So nah I wouldn't add people from school that I am not friends with in real life! I have recieved a few message from people asking why and I do try and reply polietlly but when they still try and add me the replies aint so nice!

p.s sorry for any spell mistakes can barely see what am typing!

Re: Nettiquette

Maisy — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:17:00 GMT

Oh dear! On the persons profile underneath their picture there is the option to remove friend

Re: Nettiquette

Sandra Taylor RVN, MBVNA — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:07:15 GMT

I had a request from someone from school a while back on FB, I ignored for a bit, not because she was a bully or anything........... just a bit full of herself,but stupidly added her, when I was drunk so I could have a nosey at her page..... now I dont know how to delete her!!! lol oh and she is still full of herself

Re: Nettiquette

Maisy — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 20:25:53 GMT

I've had a few requests from people I didn't on with at school for various reasons and I wouldn't accept them. Its been 12 years since I left school, I haven't spoken to them in this time so don't feel its necessary for them to see what I'm doing now. I only have people I like and speak to as friends on FB, rather than have x number of friends 'just because', especially if I didn't really get on with them in the first place!

Re: Nettiquette

Caro Laithwaite VN — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 20:10:17 GMT

As a person in this thread wishes to make messages public then perhaps you want your reply public l shall make it simple so you can understand it and send you a more complex one in pvt it is up to you if you make that public as well

Until you accept yourself for what you are whatever that is you shall remain as you are.

Re: Nettiquette

Mrs Dot Dot — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 20:05:27 GMT

I've only ignored/rejected one person..... they may have changed/ grown up/ regretted past ways but you can't block out memories that are not good, and if they want to redeem their ways then surely thru facebook isn't the way...... it can be interpreted wrongly/ unable to read body language/ facial expressions etc /difficult to say exactly what you think /feel..... Everyone has every right to pick and chose who they keep in contact with!!!!

Re: Nettiquette

dinkyd — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 19:29:06 GMT

Agree Heather - if they made you that unhappy and you dont want their freindship - cos they didnt do a good job of it the first time round then why shoud you give them the privilige again.

I dont think holding grudges is childish - very much depends on the situation and what other person has done.If they really hurt you some things can just not be forgotten IMO.

Re: Nettiquette

Mac Feather — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:56:29 GMT

Thanks everyone.

Re: Nettiquette

Fiona Leathers — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:54:54 GMT

There's bit on all social website, which you can block people from. Its different to each sites though. I think with facebook you go in the friends section and choose block on the options

Re: Nettiquette

Anonymous — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:54:22 GMT

[quote user="mrs mac"]

Next computer/techno phobey question for you Caro-how do you go about blocking people?

[/quote]

http://www.facebook.com/help.php?page=841

Re: Nettiquette

Mac Feather — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:51:39 GMT

Next computer/techno phobey question for you Caro-how do you go about blocking people?

Re: Nettiquette

Anonymous — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:50:37 GMT

Some people deal with a lot of their problems later in life and get therapists and try to make amends. They realize when they get to a certain age and they don't have any friends that maybe it might be something they're doing wrong so they grasp at what ever they can to try and stay sane. Sad but all too common. They may have felt really bad about how and what they did and just weren't able to cope with seeing you yet. Now they might have had a long hard think and want to sort it out like adults. Some people take so long to grow up and honestly some never do. Even the ones that claim to be bully avengers but yet when you contact them for some help they are childish and don't even reply. Makes you wonder what their really fighting for...

Re: Nettiquette

Caro Laithwaite VN — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:50:10 GMT

block them warn any more attempts you will report them. Warn friends about the person in case they try and join as a friend of theirs using you.

Re: Nettiquette

Mac Feather — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:48:51 GMT

I know this person and have done for some time and basically I do not want them to have more acess to my world than they do already, Im sorry but I do feel some people only want to get the goss on your world.

Re: Nettiquette

Caro Laithwaite VN — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:47:19 GMT

Just block them send them a message saying you do not wish to have any contact with them. You will proabably do it more politely than me though.

I do not do the kiss and make up without a very very good reason. I look at wronged once a fool to trust again.

Re: Nettiquette

Mac Feather — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:44:13 GMT

Someone requested me as a friend and I have ignored, now am receiving messages saying they are hurt I havent added them! Short memory as all this person has ever done is try and bring me down and humiliate me. Last time our paths crossed it couldnt have been more obvious (well to me anyway,maybe said person has a hard neck tho) that I did not want to interact in any manner. I was like a feral cat desperate for an escape route.

Re: Nettiquette

Anonymous — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:43:08 GMT

I don't hold grudges, it's childish. People grow up and some have had really hard childhoods. Give them the benefit of the doubt and if they are still rude or don't apologize or speak to you then delete them. Usually they speak to me and are very nice and polite and apologize, it's nice closure. You shouldn't pass judgment on people you don't really know that well especially based on who and how they were as teenagers or kids.

Re: Nettiquette

Caro Laithwaite VN — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:42:23 GMT

I miss the wild west of yahoo chat rooms from the late 90s early 00 now is all moderated not make your own rooms and each person for their own against boot programmes etc......

Re: Nettiquette

Caro Laithwaite VN — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:39:57 GMT

Just because they knew you does not give them a right to know you now you are proably just a number on their "friends" collection. Oh l got 500 friends... no you have none but yourself. And yup used that on someone from yahoo once, wasn't someone l knew from long ago but met in the rooms, they presumed to much.

Re: Nettiquette

Fiona Leathers — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:38:06 GMT

I once asked to be added by a former friend, who slahed my face with a snapped credit card. So i replied saying that I didn't want to add her because of that and she denied she had done it!! Stating it was one of our other friends, with whom I still friendly with. She then replied by saying I shouldn't be bitter after 20 years!! I didn't reply to that one & blocked her!

If you didn't like them then you probably won't like them know!!