Divorce

Re: Divorce

Edwina [Eddie] Norbury — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 20:43:01 GMT

we did the same. Still together 27 years later.Where has the time gone?

Re: Divorce

Diane Westwood — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 18:15:47 GMT

We got married in a register office with immediate family and my dog. Relative took the photos, again including Rusty the dog. My friends aunt made my cake. Done on the very cheap and have never regretted that. .

Re: Divorce

Katie Tallett RVN MBVNA — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 16:22:26 GMT

[quote user="Caro Laithwaite"]l agree with Fi if it isn't broke don't fix it and don't break it to fix it. If you can argue like a married couple then you are obviously married even if you aren't [/quote]

i agree too! i have been through a divorce but wouldn't hesitate to get married again to the right person (this time ). so even the people who have had a horrid marriage once cant be put off!!

what i would say is that when i got maried, the family pushed things waaaaayyy past what i wanted and turned it into a big do which i allowed and regretted. this time they have been warned that they will just have to look for the extra ring!!!!

Re: Divorce

Caro Laithwaite VN — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:21:54 GMT

I married for love and l still love him over 21 years later. For me it was not a money making or simplifying anything, he was just someone l wanted to spend my life with and for us marriage was what clicked it. Anyhow l got to change my signature l was bored with my original one
We had a quiet cheap wedding mainly close family l did not want anything big or gaudy and neither did B. I only agreed to photos because my Mum would have killed me if l hadn't.

I am not sure why some people who have been together for years seem to hit problems as soon or shortly after they marry, it is a shame as they obviously have lost something. Somehow they want to redefine roles that have served them well over the years. Hence l agree with Fi if it isn't broke don't fix it and don't break it to fix it. If you can argue like a married couple then you are obviously married even if you aren't

Re: Divorce

Mac Feather — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 14:53:37 GMT

[quote user="Karen S"]Marriage is a money making racket[/quote]

Doesnt have to be, personally I think it can be as expensive or as inexpensive as you make it.

Re: Divorce

Gillian Mostyn — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 12:46:16 GMT

But never forget that, in the eyes of the law, if you aren't married you are not entitled to anything at all that is in your partner's name. Lots of people think there is a legal 'common-law' spouse situation - where you have the same legal rights as a spouse because you've been together a while - it is a myth!

So get a will - with EVERYTHING in it! Otherwise the expensive solicitor's bills will come later when you have to fight to get what is yours!

I personally have no thoughts on marriage beyond that it simplifies everything legally. I am always baffled why people who are committed to being together for life don't just go and get a marriage license to that effect from a registrar. You can do it in your lunchbreak - it doesn't HAVE to be a big expensive event.

Re: Divorce

Fiona Leathers — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 12:31:29 GMT

I'm happily living in sin and never see the point of marriage but I would like a nice diamond ring!! Maybe we could call it a "un-engagement" ring. However do get annoyed sometimes when people keep asking when we're getting married or getting that look as if to say " poor you.....still not married!" Forget the fact we've been together 10 years, have a daughter, a house and a few pets - we're possibly more committed than married people cos we're still working on our relationship!

Re: Divorce

Karen S — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 11:01:52 GMT

The best solution to this is to not get married. That way you save money on the wedding AND you save tons more on the divorce. Marriage is a money making racket for venue owners, florists, caterers and dress stores, whilst divorce is a money making racket for lawyers :/

Re: Divorce

Nicola Smith — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 09:21:38 GMT

My solicitor was fab, and took the fees out of the sale of the house as he dealt with that to. He made my very stressful situation a lot easier. A DIY divorce might be OK if everything is straightforward with who is having what but a solicitor is vital if problems.

Re: Divorce

FINNIGAN — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 08:23:19 GMT

if you can do without a solicitor go for it, my divorce cost me 7 thousand pounds in the end, there was a child involved and also a battle for money, i will say our solicitor made things a lot worse and caused more grief than it should have, wouldnt use one again!!!!

Re: Divorce

Anonymous — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:53:13 GMT

[quote user="Diane Westwood"]

My friend is divorcing her husband. They have been together 25 years! It got me to thinking, it is costing them a fortune. Can divorce ever be done on the cheap? She is really struggling as the house hasn't sold yet.

[/quote]

I was very very luckly my brother in law was a solicitor. So we only had to pay the court fees. Might be worth shopping round at one of the local law schools and see if there are any students that might do it for probono :)

Re: Divorce

Katie Tallett RVN MBVNA — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 14:42:41 GMT

DIY divorce is the way to go!! thats what i did! i went to the court and asked for a 'divorce pack' (the things you can get these days!! ). really straight forward, fill in 3 copies of the form, send to court with cheque (about £200ish i think), they keep 1 , send one back and send one to ex knobhead. not long before decree nici came through. had to wait a little while and then i think i paid about £70 for decree absolute . Bargain!!

took about 12 weeks, think it would take longer if kids involved but very user friendly!!

Re: Divorce

wobbliebob — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 14:41:57 GMT

you can sometimes get legal aid. best to go for a free consult with a solicitor and ask.