need a little bit of man advice!

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Saskia Quinn — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 20:45:11 GMT

You will get there Lou, just stay strong and please keep in touch with us here, as I know if you are not around for a few days, we will all be worried

you can do it! xxx

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

A Little TLC — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 12:12:21 GMT

Well done xx

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

loopylou711 — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 11:52:19 GMT

And I would love to leave but I am so skint at the minute with not being able to find a job!! Student loan day is the 7th tho and so hopefully I can make plans to leave then!! It's so hard tho, I mean he tells me all the reasons i should stay with him and I just think "Maybe he's right" But i know in my heart and head that hes not and this is for the best. Just finding it hard!! But i shall get there!! Hopefully!! Thanks guys!!

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Siobhan Steven — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 06:18:37 GMT

Is there a chance you can sort out somewhere to go that he doesn't know about, wait until the next time he goes to the football, followed by getting pissed and do a runner?

Hey, and I agree Caro, actually, I know some people in Glasgow who would be right in on a kneecapping!

You've got to do something soon so you can stop being the victim in all of this and be a survivor, and I don't think thats dramatising, your a victim on so many levels here and we'd all be gutted if something bad happened. This kind of behaviour continues to escalate because each time he has a go at you he is feeling more and more control over you. You will look back on this as an experience and know you did the right thing by leaving. But don't trivialise what he's doing or think any of it 'isn't that bad'. Move on.

Good luck.

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Avril Louise Jackson RVN — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 01:45:44 GMT

It sounds to me like you're in make or break situation. He could make the situation better if he controlled his drinking with consequent anger and you could break it by walking away. Neither option is easy. The fact that anger ensues after alcohol suggests an underlying psychological problem... are you strong enough to suggest that to him and is he willing to accept that he needs help? Breaking away from the situation might seem hard especially as you don't get along with your Mum. However there is a clear decision to make... either he accepts that he has a problem and gets help or you accept that this fella aint gonna work at it and you get out. Either way will be difficult but u can't give him any more chances. Violent men don't deserve second chances. Go and stay with a friend for a few days, get your mind together, think about yourself, what you want and desarve out of life and how you can go about getting it. Rid yourself of this idiot for at least a few days and see how you feel.

At 19 yrs old you aint throwing anything away if u leave this rotter. You are starting afresh.

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Claire Cameron — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 21:48:56 GMT

[quote user="SaskiaVN"]

Hey Lou,

just echoing what Mrs Dot Dot & Siobhan have already said - you are a special person and deserve so much better, you can be strong and you will get through this

[/quote]

I agree. You deserve so much more than this. Please PM me if I can help at all x

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Caro Laithwaite VN — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 21:31:07 GMT

If we were really helpful we would club together for a contract on "it"....,.

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Saskia Quinn — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 21:14:23 GMT

Hey Lou,

just echoing what Mrs Dot Dot & Siobhan have already said - you are a special person and deserve so much better, you can be strong and you will get through this

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Siobhan Steven — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 12:00:53 GMT

Be strong and stick to your guns. You will find someone who deserves you because you are principled and have done whats right for you.

Good luck and big cyber hugs to you.

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Mrs Dot Dot — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 23:15:38 GMT

[quote user="loopylou711"]

I am here saskia,

All is ok, sticking to my guns and not going back to him. Trying to be strong but it's really hard. But last night proved me right about the fact it will only get worse.

Of course today i have heard it all from it wont happen again, i wont drink again and you are as bad as me. But am still sticking to it!

Thanks guys!

[/quote]

Just believe in yourself... 'cos you are great! ... and be strong! ... and know that there are loads of people out there that will support you!

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Saskia Quinn — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 22:30:46 GMT

So pleased to hear from you

You can be strong, just keep reminding yourself of how he can behave. You know we are here for you. If you feel yourself weakening, just log on and chat here!

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

loopylou711 — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 22:28:46 GMT

I am here saskia,

All is ok, sticking to my guns and not going back to him. Trying to be strong but it's really hard. But last night proved me right about the fact it will only get worse.

Of course today i have heard it all from it wont happen again, i wont drink again and you are as bad as me. But am still sticking to it!

Thanks guys!

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Saskia Quinn — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 22:26:03 GMT

Anyone heard from Lou today?

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Deemus — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 11:32:49 GMT

Lou,

I'm really sorry to hear what you're having to go through at the moment. I hope you manage to sort things out soon. You're welcome to PM me if you feel the need.

Take care chick xx

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Saskia Quinn — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 09:50:40 GMT

Aw Lou, you need to get out of there pet.

We are all here for you - remember that xxx

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Anonymous — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 01:12:03 GMT

Oh hun i'm home if you need me!!!

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

loopylou711 — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 00:27:27 GMT

so he came bk about 1145, gave me the why do i hate him speech and then jumped on me saying i needed a hug. i pushed him of so he bit me and pulled my hair and then lay on me for a while calling me all sorts then grabbed a bottle of water and poured it over me. he then stole my laptop charger hit me on the back with it . Hes settled down now though and am ok. He proved to me tonight though that being single is the only way forward for me and hopefully i will get somewhere soon out of here. Please don't worry!!

Thanks guys for just listening and your adivce has been great

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

les punton — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 22:49:13 GMT

maybe he will stay away tonight? or is that wishful thinking! hope you are ok

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Caro Laithwaite VN — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 22:18:46 GMT

you have my numbers give me a call if you need someone to talk to am tyding the lounge and reading etc. Wont be in bed for hours so ring anytime no need to worry

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

loopylou711 — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 22:01:58 GMT

I really really hate myself!! But am not long in from my friends and he isn't back... which just made horrible feeling of dread so much worse. He will have been drinking from half 12 eaten only a pie at the game and been drinking for at least 9 hours!!

I have two theories on what hes goin to do tonight....

1. Go sleep with this girl that he had a thing with just before we met. She goes to the same pub as him for football and shes always fancied him. She welcome to him really. Least if he sleeps with her it means i will deffinently not go back to him!

and 2. He is going to be so drunk that something bad is going to happen. I can feel it you know this horrible feeling of dread!

Am sleeping on the sofa in the hope he wont see me in the living room and stumble into bed. Heres hopin!! I just wish i didn't care! I was tempted to call but i know i shouldn't because it really shouldn't be my problem anymore but here i am worrying anyways.

Sorry to ramble just wish he would come home and get this over with.

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Mrs Dot Dot — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 18:35:50 GMT

[quote user="Caro Laithwaite"]

You should have the details l sent you and if it kicks off then call the police. Threads see you have more than you thought and by the way we will if it is all the same still worry about you

[/quote]

Ditto Caro.......

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Caro Laithwaite VN — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 18:30:12 GMT

You should have the details l sent you and if it kicks off then call the police. Threads see you have more than you thought and by the way we will if it is all the same still worry about you

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

loopylou711 — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 18:04:09 GMT

guys honestly don't worry am made of strong stuff Am gona go to my guy friends for a little while then come bk late and hopefully he will have came bk and passed out by then. Honest am one storng girl i will be fine!

Thanks guys!

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

les punton — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 16:38:38 GMT

aw hope you are ok chick, try and make some plans for tonight you dont want to be stuck home alone when he comes back.

thinking of you, very brave xxx

Re: need a little bit of man advice!

Anonymous — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 16:11:37 GMT

Please don't stay home tonight Lou. Can you stay at a hotel or bed n breakfast? Grab the kitties and slip them in with you.