How do I stop thinking about work???

RE: How do I stop thinking about work???

Rachel Woodcock — Sat, 30 Nov 2024 17:46:01 GMT

Those were the good days!

RE: How do I stop thinking about work???

Charlotte Rydz — Sat, 30 Nov 2024 12:41:21 GMT

I agree, there are no boundaries anymore. This is a problem in life in general too. We have access to so much, so quickly. I guess younger people only know this?

Back in the days before mobile phones, shift changes/ rotas etc were handed to you on paper or you’d write them down from a board that you’d have to check when you were in work. It was great Or if you were on holiday when the new rota was released, you’d have had someone drop it off for you, or a quick phone call.

We didn’t have emails back then either! But yes at least you can ignore those, providing it’s a work email not coming into your private, (which it shouldn’t).

RE: How do I stop thinking about work???

Charlotte Rydz — Sat, 30 Nov 2024 12:31:47 GMT

The overtime issues, was something that had almost become expected in one of the roles I was in. The boss there also wouldn’t have batted an eyelid at 10 hours over. We were made to feel we weren’t doing enough if we weren’t overworking. I booked annual leave for a shift around new year once, (which I hadn’t done for my first few years there) I was told by my boss I had become unreliable!!!!!!!!! Mobile phones and WhatsApp groups weren’t a thing back then, but oh my! If they had been, I think I’d have struggled even more.

In my last couple of roles I was added to groups straight away and I really didn’t like it. I find group chats very stressful even in friend/ family circles. Having work ones too, especially multiple ones (one was classed as fun/ non work) was just so harassing, it was constantly being used. I muted them. I had to. It was brought up that I had missed things and it was my fault for not reading it on WhatsApp, but I argued how can anyone keep up with it and do their job. Also you shouldn’t have to have a phone to be a VN!

RE: How do I stop thinking about work???

Charlotte Rydz — Sat, 30 Nov 2024 12:14:58 GMT

Awww no need to apologise, I know what it’s like. I’m so pleased you’ve had a better week .

I think it’s great that you started this thread in the forum. You are lucky to have recognised you were finding it hard to switch off and ask about it here. The thing is sometimes it can go on for too long and does become a mental health issue.

Hope the meeting was useful and productive for all.

RE: How do I stop thinking about work???

Rachel Woodcock — Fri, 29 Nov 2024 22:29:07 GMT

I'm the same, on my days off I stil get emails and messages about work stuff and as the messages are sent to my personal number I can't mute them. Emails I can ignore.

There just doesn't seem to be any boundaries in place anymore and there's one person in particular who messages me about work whilst I'm off time and time again

RE: How do I stop thinking about work???

Selena Carnell — Fri, 29 Nov 2024 19:54:12 GMT

i find it hard as we now have numerous 'whats app' groups, it say day off on friday and i have had the boss texting me moaning about a rota problem, this evening. if people are on holiday we now have our phones pinging with messages, one of the girls got worked at midnight by on eo the girls submitting their hours to the 'hours' group. its getting so much harder to switch off from everything.

ive advised people to mute their messages, or put their phone elsewhere.

I do tend to worry about work when i not there but other just leave and dont think about anything else. we are also struggling with no receptionist and routine cleaning not getting done. one of the bosses didn't bat an eye lid when one of the nurses had done 10 hrs over time this month.

RE: How do I stop thinking about work???

Rachel Woodcock — Thu, 28 Nov 2024 12:48:45 GMT

Sorry, I hadn't seen the replies as didn't get any notifications - must be my user error

I've actually had a much better week this week and have actually felt good leaving work andy level of work related thoughts has reduced.

We shall see what happens in the meeting tomorrow.

I still have tonnes of things to do from Monday this week that I've transferred to my to do list every day this week but I'm trying to not worry too much about them as nothings urgent urgent and am hoping to catch up tomorrow all being well.

Thanks for everyone's replies - just to clarify, I'm not struggling with my mental health to the point I need counselling,just needed to switch my brain off

RE: How do I stop thinking about work???

Charlotte Rydz — Mon, 25 Nov 2024 12:33:34 GMT

Yes, a protocol for answering emails really needs to be in place.

RE: How do I stop thinking about work???

Charlotte Rydz — Mon, 25 Nov 2024 12:30:54 GMT

Leaving on time when you’re the only nurse is impossible. It used to make me feel so bad, like I wasn’t good enough as I’d already be tired from the 12 hour shift and just want my bed then a pyo walks in and I’d feel myself deflate. I’d chat to my friend who worked in a hospital and she was full of enthusiasm and energy end of the day, I didn’t get it? How could she be? But they all had their set shifts, hers ended another began.

There’s a big issue here and it’s staffing. Practices are running their teams on skeleton staff, to save money I presume? But the long term effects of this are so damaging. Nurses are leaving the profession due to burn out in turn making the problem even worse.

I do hope your practice meeting goes well. Staffing needs address for sure.

RE: How do I stop thinking about work???

Mel Mckernan — Mon, 25 Nov 2024 12:23:24 GMT

Wow, not easy then with all that going on! Sounds like the protocols for answering emails and things within the team need looking at too; maybe its not just you its happening with if things are just getting moved to folders without checking things have been answered to properly? If it is brought up at your practice meeting hopefully they will take note? Agree with Charlotte below too in that if you're finding it hard to see the light and get through each day without being completely exhausted, professional help would definitely be a good idea.

RE: How do I stop thinking about work???

Charlotte Rydz — Mon, 25 Nov 2024 12:13:03 GMT

How interesting, so your practice actually has a ban on locums at the moment? This explains a lot. Are you part of a corporate?

I’m really sorry you are going through this. I 100% sympathise with you. Have experienced pretty much word for word what you are going through. I was super thankful for a very kind colleague who noticed, (is now a dear friend of mine) they looked out for me and got me to a GP, long story short I had counselling, no overnight fix for me.

Some workplaces have an employee assistance program in which you can access some confidential help. Also VetLife (03030402551) or email via website (vet life.org.uk) can be very helpful if you are struggling to access help via your GP.

It took me awhile to learn ways to switch off, (I’d tried exercise/ hobbies etc I just couldn’t switch off) it really didn’t fully set in until I secured a job in which there was no OOH work. Looking back I’m surprised how long I coped working the hours I did plus OOHs and training on top, no wonder it did a number on me!

Here if you want to chat things over.

RE: How do I stop thinking about work???

Rachel Woodcock — Thu, 21 Nov 2024 11:50:34 GMT

Wow thank you for your reply. Some really interesting points in it. A few that stood out are that from previous experience is that things do get left for me to sort out regardless if I'm in work or off on holiday. Things aren't completed properly and are half done or just left completely. This is a thing that does my head in and definitely needs to change! An example is I was having an email conversation with a client about booking her dog in for an appointment and the last email I sent her was on a Friday before I was then off for a few days and I was asking her if she wanted me to let her know what availability we had for the following week. Her reply was "yes please" and yet the email was I replied to and placed in my folder!!! All it needed was someone else to offer her some dates. I don't get why this wasn't done because all the other people needed to do was read through the previous emails to know what we were discussing. There are sadly plenty more examples of situations like this so I know that when I'm off I will have lots to sort out when I'm back in.

I can't commit to doing things at set times after work as we never seem to be able to leave on time due to emergencies or being short staffed that doing the cleaning etc makes us run late. Then by the time I get home I'm absolutely exhausted so eat my tea and go to bed. I work 10hour days with almost an hour each way for driving time.

We are due to have a practice meeting next week so hopefully things might change but I doubt it as I can't currently see the light at the end of the tunnel and it just feels like a neverending cycle of stress

RE: How do I stop thinking about work???

Mel Mckernan — Thu, 21 Nov 2024 11:31:50 GMT

So this may be a bit of an essay (apologies) but your comment definitely resonated with me! I work in an independent ambulatory equine practice and for years it was just me and my boss (the vet) doing everything - 24/7 OOH, all the daily visits, taking x-rays, dropping samples at the lab, answering phone calls, doing admin, bookkeeping, patient care, clinical work - the lot! I went on holiday a few times but used to take my work phone with me ‘just in case’, because I also didn’t want to have too much to catch up on when I got back. The trouble is that you end up not having any life out side of work, and I agree it definitely isn’t healthy. The hardest thing was realising that I had created this situation for myself, and it was up to me to change my way of thinking and being! You can’t control what anyone else does or thinks about, you can only control yourself and your thoughts.

For me the first step was to stick to my ‘working hours’ religiously - I actually do an exercise class (CrossFit, Zumba, Pilates, spinning) after work each day so that I have to get changed out of my work clothes and then go and work out in a group, doing something fun, socialising with people who aren’t from work. It was a real challenge at first (mainly from feeling so incredibly guilty that I wasn't working, afraid that I’d upset all the clients so they’d all leave the practice and it would then all be my fault and I’d ruin the business and then lose my job and then all the clients would pelt me with tomatoes if they ever saw me on the street etc etc… because my heinous crime was that I had answered their email during my working hours when I was actually at work! )

We did sign up to an OOH call handling service so now my work phone gets turned off and I put it ‘out of reach’ or leave it in the office so I’m not tempted to check texts/emails/WhatsApps (I set up an automated reminder for these to let clients know what our office hours were but that if they were texting or emailing for an emergency to please call the other line which is 24/7).

I do not answer emails on my days off either. Its tough but necessary to set boundaries with myself and with clients too - we have the most wonderful clients and now even those that do email on the weekends will often start with ‘I know its a Sunday but please don’t worry about replying until you’re back in the office!”. Neither my boss nor myself set boundaries like this when we first started and it was hard to then put them in place, but happy to say it’s working!

Doing a leadership course also really helped me with prioritising tasks. There was a great section on time management and how I could be more effective at delegating so that I didn’t get overwhelmed, understanding which tasks were priority and which weren’t (even though they may seem urgent at the time!) but also better understanding myself. Not sure if I’m allowed to post links here or recommend specific ones but there are a few courses out there and I think regardless of what ‘position’ you’re in within a practice, its good knowledge for everyone! There are so many benefits that come out of it which may not be visible at first (not least that I now have time to give back and help others in more ways, by trying to answer questions like this on forums for example, as well as setting up more accessible educational resources for clients!)

Also having a new team member start in the office made me realise it was unreasonable to ask them to work the way I was working - during their time off, always available OOH etc, taking the work phone and laptop on holiday with them - it highlighted how my own thoughts about work (and lack of focus on my own life) were actually very unhealthy. My colleague would have said no right from the outset! The leadership course I did talks a lot about culture and both my boss and I realised we wanted this to be a great place both for clients and employees, so we had to put clear protocols and boundaries in place so that everyone was on the same page, knew what their role was, what was expected of them etc.

Imagine you were a new employee at your practice - would you change anything about how you work if you had the opportunity to ‘start afresh’ in the same role? What about if you were starting a new role in a non-veterinary workplace (ie local shop/fitness centre or something?) Would you be doing the same thing for them? I do find it gets so personal when animals are involved, or you have a great team and you genuinely care and want to help, and it sounds like you are taking a lot of responsibility on your shoulders.

I make sure I take a walk outside every day. Sounds silly and we may not have the benefit of much sunshine at present but just walking and breathing and softening my focus to take in the lovely woodland and fields is a big help. I also bought some plants into the office; we currently have a wonderful vibrant green Monstera and just looking at it makes me take a moment to pause and calm down!

Something else that helped was learning a new skill completely unrelated to work. Any time I felt I was getting stressed or thinking about work, I would get out my crochet! I was then using that ‘worrying time’ to get my brain to focus on something else. Just telling myself to stop thinking about work didn’t help, but having to focus on crochet (which does not come naturally to me! ) meant my brain wasn’t worrying about work.

Another thing my sister said to me once which may sound harsh (siblings, eh?! ) but I’ve actually found it to be true: She said to me ‘You’re not that special”. Obviously meaning that I thought a lot of these tasks NEEDED to be done and its down to ME to do it, as I was the only one who could do it/sees that it needs to be done/cared enough to do it etc - but her point was that if I wasn’t there, the business wouldn’t just vanish! The clients would just ask someone else. That someone else would then either do those tasks (or get a cross email from a client asking why it hadn’t been done!) but then they would have to sort that situation out, and again it would either be done, or not done! Looking at the bigger picture; it’s a job, with tasks that need to be done each day. If you weren’t there (ie off work sick, no access to online comms or worst case made redundant) those same tasks would be being done (or not done) by someone else. Sometimes NOT doing things can actually help other people to see where things need to change (ie do they need to hire someone else; sometimes it takes ‘client complaints' about efficiency for management to take notice they need to do something! Or for other team members to step up and help out and share the load). And to be honest, we now have locums to help us sometimes, and a shared OOH rota, and I have help in the office, but we still struggle with time to get things done some days. If you aren’t being given the time within working hours to do all those tasks, then it’s not a reflection of your ability or strength. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.

If, like me, you’re the type of person who goes a bit overboard trying to solve problems and help everybody else out, at times it can be assumed that those tasks are being done, managed and completed with no issues, when in reality you are stressed and tired and as you say about to drive yourself mad! I had to take a big step back and realise that if I kept picking up all the slack, nobody realised how much I was trying to hold together. And then if anything happened to me, it would be an even bigger mess for the business to sort out, whereas what I should be doing is taking a long hard look at the people-pleasing aspects of myself, setting clear boundaries, accepting what I could and couldn’t manage (in a healthy way), learning to say no, (and being kind with myself that this didn’t mean I was failing, or a burden on my team, or letting anyone down) but that I could only bring my ‘best self’ to work when I was looking after myself with the same priority as I looked after everything else.

I journal every morning and write a to-do list of my ‘priority tasks’ to complete that day, but I accept some days I will get more done. Then when I finish work I have 5-10 minutes of putting any unresolved tasks into my list for the following morning and tell myself that I will look at them tomorrow, as now its time to stop thinking about work! If I go on holiday now, I do the same thing (but maybe also involves letting colleagues know of anything they may need to ‘finish up’ on my behalf, or to add to the to-do list for when I am back at work).

Anyway I’m not sure if any of that helps! It’s ok to feel this way, but do give yourself permission to take breaks - you definitely deserve it! No point in anyone burning themselves out or dreading the role to the point where you wanted to change career - there are so many amazing people in the veterinary world and it has its own unique challenges, but the first step is recognising something us up and reaching out. Hopefully if your team know what you're going through they will help support you as well! Good luck and best wishes!