Help please, really struggling...

RE: Help please, really struggling...

Arlo Guthrie — Thu, 24 Sep 2020 17:53:57 GMT

[quote userid="4678" url="~/001/nonclinical/f/life-in-veterinary-practice/32046/help-please-really-struggling/176466#176466"]I'm so glad you're feeling better and more positive about the future [/quote]

Just wot I was finking. Sounds like you'd done the right thing anon, just so glad to hear you've got an alternative sorted out - I fear there are many that find themselves in a similar situation and can't jump ship. Anyway, congratulations, and hope your new job works out well for you.

RE: Help please, really struggling...

Rachel Woodcock — Thu, 24 Sep 2020 16:31:45 GMT

I'm so glad you're feeling better and more positive about the future

RE: Help please, really struggling...

VetNurse Anon a/c — Thu, 24 Sep 2020 13:32:09 GMT

Hi all - original poster here! Thank you so much to each and every one of you who took the time to comment and offer advice and opinions, I honestly appreciate you all so much.

The meeting was okay but I didn’t feel I had a fair chance to discuss the issues I was having. There didn’t seem to be any commitment to changing any of the issues and felt they were “going through the motions” rather than actually caring about what I had to say and the way I was feeling. Also difficult when part of the issue is sat across the table from you!!

After this post, I applied for another job, which I was offered and subsequently accepted, so I have resigned from my position at my current practice and instantly feel as though a weight has been lifted from me. I am excited for the new opportunities and challenges my new role will (hopefully) bring.

In answer to some of the questions - the head nurse has always been here and has never been easy to work with, but has got worse the past few years. Nurses have previously left because of her so I won’t be the first nor the last I’m sure! Luckily this hasn’t affected my sleep (I’m not sure much does!!).

I’m feeling much more positive now, though heartbroken to be leaving some of my current colleagues as they really are good friends, though I know I will still see them beyond working together.

So thanks again everyone, you are so appreciated. What a wonderful community to be a part of.

RE: Help please, really struggling...

Rachel Woodcock — Sun, 20 Sep 2020 07:14:27 GMT

How did the meeting go? I hope you're ok. Your post took me back to how I felt a good few years ago,driving home crying every day after a shift, walking into a room and hearing people bitching about me. It was truly horrible but then I got the courage to resign and got a new job and things got so much better.

Even with the way the world is currently there are jobs out there and there's a lot of locum work again now too so maybe that's something to consider if there isn't a permanent job in your area that you like the look of.

A job shouldn't make you feel this way and if it can't be fixed then it's time to move on and find something better.

Please let us know you're ok,you don't have to tell us how the meeting went etc,just want to make sure you're ok x

RE: Help please, really struggling...

Sal the 1st — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 20:28:53 GMT

how are you doing? If this job is sending you home every night in a distressed state there is something very wrong going on somewhere. Have things got worse for you since the whole lockdown thing - you wouldn't be alone. Easier said than done at the moment but consider a GP appt even if its not face to face, in the short term maybe a script from them would help?? Are you managing to sleep or is this eating into your sleeping hours as well?

Do you still have any staff on furlough ie do you have too few staff in there for the workload? in which case this is a management problem rather than you not managing.

Listen to what they have to say - have what you need to say in bullet points (great suggestion from the other poster)

PM me if you think it will help at all

RE: Help please, really struggling...

rcookieuk — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 18:51:55 GMT

I really feel for you :( I think many of us have worked in practices where these toxic situations arise and many of us will have felt the same as you.

Is there anything about that practice that makes you feel it is worth staying for? I can’t imagine this head nurse changing her behaviour dramatically towards you from what you’ve said about her.

If you feel happy to locum this would be a good escape for you until you find a permanent position. I have used a1 locums and always found them great. I expect you have done his but emailing local practices to ask for any work availability might improve your chances of a new job.

As for the meeting I would be tempted to call/email hr to say you aren’t happy about it, i would feel very intimidated in that situation.

Please know that at some point you won’t be working with this person and will have lovely supportive colleagues, there are many more practices out there :) x

RE: Help please, really struggling...

Rachel Woodcock — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 16:09:57 GMT

Can you take someone into the meeting with you? Would help to have someone there who you feel is on your side.

You have to ask yourself though - if this is how they treat you do you really want to work there still - I know what my answer would be!

RE: Help please, really struggling...

Selena Carnell — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 15:48:22 GMT

Don't panic, Keep calm, write down what you want to saying a note book or do bullet points.

Don't be made to feel that you are in the wrong already.

These meeting will alway be tough, and ive had my fair share of crappy head nurses, but she also may be under pressure. though i think any allegation of bullying has to be taken seriously. good luck!

RE: Help please, really struggling...

Arlo Guthrie — Fri, 11 Sep 2020 17:34:28 GMT

Poor you, that sounds really miserable. Is the head nurse new or has she always been there? And has she always been a nasty piece of work, or is this something new? I guess what I am getting at is whether you can put your finger on what has changed.

But then I think, does it really make any difference what has changed? It can be quiet self-destructive trying to analyse situations like this (and get you nowhere, because sometimes its caused by things going on in other people's lives that you won't know about).

Honestly? It sounds from your post like you haven't done anything to deserve this. But I don't know. You need to ask yourself that question.

If you know that you've done nothing wrong, then don't let the buggers get you down.

Rise above it. You are the better person.

I know it is sad, but try not to be. You've started looking for another job. Try and go home excited about future opportunities, rather than being sad about the past. Go into that HR meeting feeling that 'what will be will be' (by which I mean a more confident state of mind).

Easier said than done, I am sure, but big virtual hug and I hope you get things sorted one way or the other.

In the meantime, find 5 other people to have a socially-distanced drink with!