Really really struggling

RE: Really really struggling

V E S — Sun, 16 Sep 2018 22:07:37 GMT

Leave the practice and don't look back! No job is worth your mental health.

I would see a doctor sooner rather than later. I really struggled with stress, from problems at work and in my personal life, and seeing a doctor was the best thing I did.

Vetlife are always available if you need someone to talk to about professional problems.

Good luck x

RE: Really really struggling

Sal the 1st — Thu, 13 Sep 2018 08:59:30 GMT

[quote user="VetNurse Anon a/c"]

I wish I had holidays to use but according to my boss I'm not entitled to any as I don't do set hours each month. Another thing that annoys me as if I ever take time off I'm down pay. It's a joke.

[/quote]

Have spoken to a friend in CAB about this - 'a part time worker has the right to be treated no less favorably than a comparable full time employee'.

A test

are you given any Bank Holidays off and if so are you paid for those Bank Holidays that you don't work? If the answer to both of those is yes then you do receive holiday pay.

Are you on a zero hours contract? if so you need to get somebody to look into this.

https://www.gov.uk/contract-types-and-employer-responsibilities/zero-hour-contracts

https://www.gov.uk/holiday-entitlement-rights

but previous advice still stands if you really aren't happy there - what keeps you there?

RE: Really really struggling

rebeccawright — Wed, 12 Sep 2018 13:26:55 GMT

we are looking for an RVN for first opinion practice nr Portsmouth. I understand if you do not want to comment your location but PM me if you are interested. We have had a few issues with management and vets but are coming out of the otherside and are looking for a motivated nurse.

RE: Really really struggling

Sal the 1st — Wed, 12 Sep 2018 08:52:17 GMT

I agree with Heather - I know its scary to take the first step towards finding something better, and less scary but more miserable to stay put hoping things will get better I have been there myself. I have stayed too long at some places waiting, hoping and each day feeling a little bit lower. Don't make my mistake. One place cost me a breakdown.

The problem is every single one of us has to some degree a resistance to change - we stick with the status quo because either it suits us and we are happy where we are (until somebody challenges it) or the thought of making a change takes us into unknown territory and we just can't handle it. Instead of seeing it as scary could you see it as an adventure?

RE: Really really struggling

Heather Bacon — Wed, 12 Sep 2018 06:58:22 GMT

Could you hand your notice in now? whilst continuing to look for work/locum? There is so much work out there I would be getting out of that place ASAP if I were you.

And you are entitled to holiday!

I would agree with everyone on here that you need to get out of there for your own mental health. I worked somewhere where I used to dread going in everyday, would think about how rubbish work was for hours after I had left for the day, lost a lot of confidence in myself etc. The best thing I ever did was leave and wish that I had done it sooner.

RE: Really really struggling

VetNurse Anon a/c — Tue, 11 Sep 2018 21:12:36 GMT

Had another really rubbish day again today. Am currently scouring the job sites searching for anything suitable. It's such a shame as the place could be absolutely amazing with a few changes but like you say Ben, they don't like change!

Leaving work feeling I've done a rubbish job is never good and something I'm getting really sick of

RE: Really really struggling

Ben Ogden — Tue, 11 Sep 2018 10:56:08 GMT

A ton of bad things going on at this practice. I think I would have blown my fuse and blown a whistle long ago. Read like there is resistance to change and move, so I'll send you this sometimes cliche quote - The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, he said

"Man.
Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present;
the result being that he does not live in the present or the future;
he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived"

Pull those pants up and set a plan in action. When you look back you'll find it worth it.

RE: Really really struggling

Alison Clare Hickman — Thu, 06 Sep 2018 14:18:17 GMT

http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1339

ACAS link - they're really good - give 'em a call xx

RE: Really really struggling

sarahjune84 — Thu, 06 Sep 2018 12:33:08 GMT

I worked as a Practice manager for a few years and trust me, by law everyone is entitled to holiday pay, even if you only work 1hr a week. They are breaking the law. Talk to ACAS and if your a member BVNA have a very good helpline for advice on things like this.

On the getting stressing, disliking work, not motivated when your at home. GET OUT! No work place is worth your health. I've been in that situation and its just not worth it.

RE: Really really struggling

Nikki Armstrong — Wed, 05 Sep 2018 08:00:32 GMT

Hi - On the subject of holiday pay- Im not nursing at the mo but am working on two casual rotas for large organisations - different hours every week.. both of them give holiday pay percentage depending on what hours I have worked, in every single pay packet - this raises the hourly pay. Its clearly stated on every wage slip - one organisation is run by the University , so Im sure it must be an official pay requirement... Perhaps get in touch with HMRC and ask them. Also on the subject of locumming.... DO IT!!! I left nursing years ago after massive dissilusionment early on.. locummed for ages and realised there were loads of lovely practices out there that used my skills...some used them regularly.. And you get to travel about and see nice places. Stress at work caused by being unsupported by management is absolutely no good for your mental health. You spend 3/4 of your life at work, so it makes senses to feel happy there.. and take time to find somewhere thats good for you xx

RE: Really really struggling

VetNurse Anon a/c — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 23:16:58 GMT

Apache - they told me that as I don't work set hours every month thus supposedly classifying me as being flexible I therefore aren't entitled to holiday pay. Makes no sense to me whatsoever. I wanted time off so had to in essence loose the pay whilst I was off which meant that instead of enjoying my time off I was fretting about not having much money in my next pay packet

RE: Really really struggling

apache — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 23:16:43 GMT

Trying to stay away from the pop psychology but you don't sound mentally healthy. Seeing your GP is sensible as you may well be depressed. The crappy job and illegal working practices won't be helping either.

Happy you PMing me in confidence if I can help any more.

RE: Really really struggling

VetNurse Anon a/c — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 23:13:54 GMT

Sal that sounds like a good idea but I'm finding that when I'm at home I'm so demoralised and unmotivated to do anything. I was thinking I'd try to get in to see my GP asap too. I'm worried what all this is doing do my health

RE: Really really struggling

Sal the 1st — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 22:54:23 GMT

take a break before it breaks you, please speak to somebody. Have a chat with your GP. If you feel you are heading towards breaking point start looking for an alternative route NOW.

A start would be to get yourself involved in an interest totally outside of the job you are doing - doesn't have to be expensive - just something else to enjoy and direct a bit of energy into, an escape if you like, everybody needs a blow off valve

RE: Really really struggling

apache — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 22:37:52 GMT

[quote user="VetNurse Anon a/c"]I've had this discussion with my boss a few times but they said that I don't get holiday pay and that's that![/quote]

This is wrong and illegal.

https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-holiday-entitlement

Please leave. Find a job where you are appreciated. You obviously care about your job and have high standards. You will walk into another job. Take care of yourself.

RE: Really really struggling

VetNurse Anon a/c — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 22:36:11 GMT

Hi Sal

Tbh I don't know what would be my limit really. If I'm honest I've been unhappy there for a very long time and just carried on which probably has contributed to the state I'm in now.

I really don't know what would make me feel better. It's just be one thing after another for years now. Having lost one of our dogs 2 days before Christmas last year and then our rabbit less than a week later and most recently one of my parents dogs I just feel like I'm drowning in bad things and can't see how to fix anything.

All I know is life's too short to feel like this all the time and I need to do something before I reach breaking point.

RE: Really really struggling

VetNurse Anon a/c — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 22:30:03 GMT

I've had this discussion with my boss a few times but they said that I don't get holiday pay and that's that!

RE: Really really struggling

apache — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 22:08:39 GMT

If there is no one you can talk to about this at work then leave. 100%. It's clearly an unhealthy environment for you.

We can all go through periods of not enjoying work or feeling more stressed. That's normal. It's when it makes you poorly and there is no support network that it becomes toxic and you need to remove yourself from the situation.

Legally you still bank holiday with no fixed hours.

RE: Really really struggling

Sal the 1st — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 22:00:46 GMT

[quote user="VetNurse Anon a/c"]

My other half keeps telling me to leave and I can see why he's saying that but for some reason I don't feel like im at that point just yet.

[/quote]

How would you recognise when you have reached that point? What would have to happen? What would make you feel a little bit better right now?

PM me if you think it will help and we can work through a few things to help you wind down a little and find the 'off' button - its not about caring less for your patients its about caring a little more for you - and thats not being selfish it is about looking after no1

RE: Really really struggling

VetNurse Anon a/c — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 21:58:52 GMT

Thank you. It's helpful to know that you have experienced this too. I just feel so down about everything and its affecting every aspect of my life.

You're right, the thought of changing jobs does really scare me and I have contemplated locuming full time instead but have been too scared to bite the bullet. Probably the only reason I've stayed is because I get great staff pet benefits BUT if any of them ever needed to be hospitalised I would go elsewhere and pay as if a normal client (have already done this with my bunny knowing that she'd get better care elsewhere).

I just wish we had better management as then these issues would be sorted out and the practice would be so much better

RE: Really really struggling

sarahkat — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 21:27:36 GMT

I rang the BVNA for advice when I was struggling. PLEASE ring them, they are so helpful.

Update your CV and send it out. This practice sounds like it would bring anyone down, obviously if things aren't going to improve you need to leave. Yes leaving is a huge scary step BUT you must not stay somewhere making you feel like that.

There are so many practices crying out for great, caring and conscientious nurses.

RE: Really really struggling

VetNurse Anon a/c — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 21:03:20 GMT

I wish I had holidays to use but according to my boss I'm not entitled to any as I don't do set hours each month. Another thing that annoys me as if I ever take time off I'm down pay. It's a joke.

I'm good friends with 2 of the nurses there and both of them are on the same wavelength as me but I don't think either of them are as badly affected as I am.

I never used to get this stressed with work. The thought of carrying on for the foreseeable future feels me with despair

RE: Really really struggling

sarahkat — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 20:41:43 GMT

Bless you, you really are not on your own. Many of us at some point have felt like you.

Isn't there anyone at all that you can talk to at work?

I had a hard time in my last job, I tried to speak to management and nothing helped. But I realised that they didn't appreciate me or my values and after much soul searching left.

I now work in a much nicer practice with nicer people.

Use some holiday, have a break and send your CV to lots of practices in your area.

Good Luck