Unhappy in new job

RE: Unhappy in new job

Alison Clare Hickman — Fri, 16 Nov 2018 19:50:59 GMT

Onwards and upwards Anon|

It's great to hear that you are finding your happy place. Xxxxxx

Bestest wishes

RE: Unhappy in new job

VetNurse Anon a/c — Fri, 16 Nov 2018 18:10:01 GMT

Hello, I just wanted to say I was the original poster. After a lot of soul searching upset and stress and feeling for months like I was the problem I decided I had to leave before I lost all confidence in nursing and myself. I returned to a different role in a practice I had known previously which was better suited for my current needs and I couldn't be happier. The relief at making the break and handing my notice in was immense and escaping that toxic practice was immeasurable which was only compounded by how they treated me after I had handed my notice in. This should probably have upset me more than it did however it only made me realise that I definitely was making the right choice and I am glad that I managed to leave whilst maintaining my own professional integrity. I honestly believe that if no had stayed my mental health would have greatly suffered as would my personal and professional confidence.

I just wanted to say again thank you for you advice and if there is anyone else feeling similar not to give up and not to be afraid to say thanks but no thanks this isn't for me and walk away as there is always another option out there.

RE: Unhappy in new job

SVN — Sat, 01 Sep 2018 10:08:40 GMT

I am sorry I'm late to post as I have just came across it. But I would wholeheartedly like to say thank you to everyone on here.

I myself am a new graduate nurse who has had the most difficult time since graduating. Have left my first job and now leaving my current one to move to a hospital due to many of the reasons specified in these posts. I was so worried that I had become a failure in the industry before I had even started but it's so nice to see that it's not just me who is struggling to find their feet in such a industry that is some ways is very unforgiving.

Thank you to everyone here who has provided me with relief this morning. I've been so upset lately but now I know that unfortunately we have many obstacles to overcome during our careers and I think for me I just seem to be getting mines at the very start so thank you :)

RE: Unhappy in new job

Raffles — Fri, 17 Aug 2018 16:19:08 GMT

Hand in your notice and tell them why. Otherwise if you stay, you will eventually mould to their ways. You sound like a good nurse who would be snapped up elsewhere at a much better practice,

Good luck :)

RE: Unhappy in new job

Alison Clare Hickman — Wed, 15 Aug 2018 10:07:46 GMT

Happy to help - absolutely nothing is worth sacrificing your mental health for (except maybe chocolate with Mr Whippy vanilla ice cream, or that could just be me...).

Tho, seriously, you are NOT the one that's odd here - it's definitely THEM!

xxxxx

Let us know how you go on and don't be afraid to post again or PM if you need support.

RE: Unhappy in new job

VetNurse Anon a/c — Wed, 15 Aug 2018 10:01:50 GMT

( Original poster) thank you so much for your advice Alison ( and others) that exactly echoes my own thoughts and the situation with the staff who have been there years and never known anything else. I really appreciate your reply as I was starting to feel that maybe it was me and doubting my own judgement however your words have given me the peace of mind to know I am correct in standing my by convictions and I will consider my options carefully however my instinct is to move on as soon as I can find something suitable as I can feel my mental health is starting to suffer. Thank you!!

RE: Unhappy in new job

Alison Clare Hickman — Wed, 15 Aug 2018 09:37:21 GMT

[quote user="Sal the 1st"]'Nobody ever leaves here but slaves may be exchanged at any time' [/quote]

Yep - sounds so much like the practice I worked at. You do wonder about the narcissism, don't you?

Definitely agree with your comment about spotting pitfalls next time (lesson learned myself and asked for 'seeing practice' mornings before signing on the dotted line in my next job(s)!) . Even locuming for a few before considering permanent offers. It's like you never truly know a person until you've lived with them... #dirtylaundry

RE: Unhappy in new job

Sal the 1st — Wed, 15 Aug 2018 08:59:17 GMT

[quote user="Alison Clare Hickman"]

I think the term "Stockholm Syndrome" was used once or twice by some who decided they'd seen enough after a few days!

[/quote]

Sorry I know this is a serious post but this made me smile - reminded me of one of my first practices. Had the highest reputation of most practices in the area with clients and the lowest reputation with staff. Behind the desk in the reception near the phone was a card on the wall. 'Nobody ever leaves here but slaves may be exchanged at any time' - and you know what I don't think they were joking.

Seriously tho to OP after 3 months you should have an inkling of what can be changed ever so slowly and what has become immutable - I would be the last person to say stick it out if things are really miserable and other options are open - and armed with your current experience you may be able to spot pitfalls at interview the next time round. We spend so many hours of our lives at work its just not worth feeling miserable

ATB for the future

RE: Unhappy in new job

Alison Clare Hickman — Wed, 15 Aug 2018 07:13:03 GMT

... and wanted to add this....

During my time at the practice you could spot the 'newbie' by the look of shock/horror/dispair/confusion on their face after a week (sometimes less) of working there. The old timers had just become used to things and had in many ways become indoctrinated. Many had never known another practice either so thought this way just 'the right way to be' (incredulously). I think the term "Stockholm Syndrome" was used once or twice by some who decided they'd seen enough after a few days!

Not good. Not pretty. A challenge. But that doesn't mean you have to aspire to help or stay for your or anyone (or sadly any animal) benefit.

Xxx

RE: Unhappy in new job

Alison Clare Hickman — Wed, 15 Aug 2018 06:53:12 GMT

Hi there, aw I'm so sorry this sounds like a practice I worked at where leadership from the top was awful. This filters down in an ugly way... Colleagues are all left floundering and afraid to make suggestions for improvement. After a while those that stay 'get with the program' and don't rock the boat by keeping their heads down. In fact it was the best paid job I'd ever had so all I can say is it was 'danger money' ! They had quite a high staff turnover with the core hard liners being the only long term staff... Tells you a lot, yeah?

Well, I stayed just under 2 years because I had no options at the time. It was hard on my physical and mental health. I did learn a lot bit was it worth it? No.

My best suggestion is listen to your gut instinct on this. Make plans to leave. You were misled at interview... You are a qualified nurse with experience. You know and have learned that practices differ in the way they run - this one is not for you. Sensibly move when you are ready.

Chalk this one down to an interesting experience.

On the other hand - can you see the environment changing if you have the strength to introduce the change needed? Are you up to it? Do you want to? Long term plan! Just don't get brow beaten or abused in the process...

Hope this helps.

And for my final tip...

It's NOT you it's THEM!!!!!

Ali h

PM me if you'd like to vent, discuss more or pick my brains.... Xxx

RE: Unhappy in new job

Denise Cooke — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 22:23:59 GMT

Have you had a review meeting yet, that you could go through yours point with them. I have now locum for a few practices now and I just get on with it. I asked questions if I need help to other members of staff. But I feel that as a RVN you just thrown in at the deep end. With both permanent and locum work.