compassionate leave

Re: compassionate leave

Saskia Quinn — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 19:26:04 GMT

Funkyfish, I am terribly sorry to hear about you mum xxxx

Re: compassionate leave

paula morgan — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 17:55:51 GMT

So sorry to hear about your Mum x

Re: compassionate leave

Caro Laithwaite VN — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 17:23:53 GMT

Sally that falls into extreme to get time off. Surely just letting the firm arrange things would have been less painfull?

Re: compassionate leave

Sally Howe — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 14:19:08 GMT

I am so sorry to hear your mum is terminally ill. My thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time.x

When my nan died I had to use my holiday allowance as the firm I worked for didn't class her as immediate family.

The firm I work for now were going to work something out when my mum went into hospital for a hip replacement but as she got out of hospital I broke my ankle. I was grateful they were going to try and help so that I could care for my mum.

Re: compassionate leave

Vicky RVN — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 14:07:24 GMT

So sorry to hear that, my thoughts are with you x

Re: compassionate leave

Helen Freer — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:48:25 GMT

Sorry to hear your sad news, my thoughts are with you.

I agree there is alot to sort out (I lost my father nearly a year ago) and you did well to organize everything in 3 weeks. If I could get my customers to understand that I had things to organize and had to reduce my opening hours for a while, I do not see why your boss could not be compassionate enough with the leave he was allowing you.

Re: compassionate leave

Gillian Mostyn — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 14:54:10 GMT

So sorry to hear that...it must still be so raw at the moment. My thoughts are with you.

I am amazed that your employer expected you to be back at work the day after your mums funeral - and also feeling let down by the greediness of people in general. Afterall, to be worried about the business incurring a few extra costs when you have lost your mum, is truly despicable.

I lost my Dad suddenly late last year and had 3 weeks off. As 'the boss' (or so I like to think) I suppose I could have taken as much time as I wanted, within reason, but didn't want to disrupt the practice too much. But I also only work 3 days per week. I really struggled when I went back though and would have probably been better to have longer. As an employer, if one of my employees lost a member of their close family I certainly wouldn't expect to see them for a month. Surely it hasn't got to the stage that people can be so brutally uncaring?

Re: compassionate leave

A Little TLC — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 11:36:17 GMT

So sorry to hear your sad news. x

Re: compassionate leave

jo. h. arter — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 11:30:10 GMT

Hi FunkyFish

Am so sorry to hear about your Mum. Knowing she was loved by someone as special as you would've meant the world to her I am sure

Take care

xxx

Re: compassionate leave

funkyfish — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 10:56:25 GMT

Thanks everyone for replying. Mum passed away 2 days after writing the post :0(

Boss sent a sympathy card with an official letter stating the terms of compassionate leave and that he would expect me back to work the day after the funeral. I had to phone him to explain that I would not be in a fit state to work the day after ,but he said I could have no more time off.- nice eh? I took almost 3 weeks off in the end as had lots to sort at home with the family etc, dreading my pay packet..... boss not happy as had to pay for locum.

With regards to my parents getting help, the local Hospice and Macmillan nurses were fab. Mum had every aid you could think of. Dad had a disabled badge for the car and lots of small amounts of money for various bits from the government. His pension was unfortnualty £10 a month too much to get careers allowance though.

Re: compassionate leave

Fiona Leathers — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 17:18:34 GMT

I remember when my gran was on her last legs, she had never been to a doctor in her life, so wasn't on any social work record or anything. My mum was at the end of her tether when I contacted social to get some help or respite. We got a social worker for my gran and then realised how much help was available but only if you knew about it!!

We could get money for additional washing powder, secure alarms & door locks - anything that we could think of - you just had to ask!

Re: compassionate leave

Caro Laithwaite VN — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 17:06:47 GMT

She must contact the hospice and explain the situation they can also speak to the husband he may well be happy to go and putting on a brave front. Even if he doesnt go they can supply info.

That is ridiculous of their sodding doctor the family also need to contact their local adult social services team, they can do it from ringing the council and asking for adult social services. (the hospice can also help tell her who to ring)

Go to the hospice and ask for the phone number of carers support groups. drs are a waste of space ours is as usless as a rotted sewer so ignore the dr and go over his head.

You DO NOT need the dr to refer to adult social services in fact adult social will ask you if you are willing for the dr to be involved and you can say no and give your reasons. There is also other help on offer some of the health areas offer councilling, and other services.

Re: compassionate leave

albatross — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 15:53:17 GMT

our friend is dying of leukaemia and his wife works for a "large UK utility company", shall we say.
While he was in a London hospital (some 70 miles from home and she can't drive), she had to use up all her holiday to visit him.
She has asked for compassionate leave, unpaid leave etc, but they refuse.
Now he is home she is trying to juggle looking after him, and also keeping down the job she has been in for well over 20 years.
She was late in work on a couple of occasions and they docked her pay.

Her next step will have to be to get signed off sick by the doctor as there's no way she can cope with the situation. We've been told by our district nurse that she should contact the Pilgrims Hospice (even though he's not going to agree to go there for either respite care or towards the end), and they apparently will do all the liaising, getting financial help, equipment etc lined up.
She did contact McMillan nurses but they have still never turned up nor contacted her - there is a rumour that they only get involved 6 weeks from the end, but how they know that when even doctors get it wrong I don't know. The doctor says she can't have a stair lift (he drags himself up and down on hands and knees because he is so weak), and that is all the contact he's provided!
Seems like if you are famous and dying, you and the family get loads of support, friends and even strangers donating loads of money to make your life easier, businessmen donating holidays and equipment, companies allowing family all the time they need, btu if you're good old Joe Soap, you get bu**er all!!

Re: compassionate leave

jo. h. arter — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 12:49:19 GMT

hi ya

So sorry to hear about your Mum.

When my Dad died suddenly I was told compassionate and sick leave were the same thing . . . . so after that was used up I had to take holiday pay for the rest. Is that an option for you?

My brothers company paid for him to fly home first class, and paid him for the entire month he stayed at home, no questions asked - guess it's better to be a banker than a vet nurse!

Re: compassionate leave

tessa — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 12:18:15 GMT

i was going to say the smae thing

go to doctors explain the situation and say you also need time to get over shock with your mother and you will get signed off there is nothing your boss can do about it

do you have a contract of employment and does it state in their how much sick you are entitled to if there is no contract of employment then statutory rules will apply so have a lok at ACAS and see if there is any other info on there about it or you could call them its free

Re: compassionate leave

Edwina [Eddie] Norbury — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 23:41:23 GMT

You could go to your doctor who should sign you off with stress.At least you will get SSP

Re: compassionate leave

Sal the 1st — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 17:16:45 GMT

I agree that your employer has to put the business first - lets face it if the business goes down all the jobs go with it - HOWEVER is somebody who is feeling worried sick about their relative / family the best person to be around the practice?? meeting and greeting the general public, what kind of impression does this give to the clients and is this person able to function as they normally would? or could it be that safety etc is compromised as a result?

As to time off paid or unpaid - more than one way of seeing it.

unpaid leave - as already mentioned the practice may have to employ a locum to cover or pay overtime to other staff and this will cost them more than you would be paid, so to hit them with your wages as well would make it very expensive for them - like a double whammy. Imagine you are a locum and you needed the time - who would be paying you then?

paid leave - there are some very generous employers out there and this can happen (yes really it does sometimes happen) but the question then arises how long can the employer continue with paid leave and also how fair is this to other members of staff? Also imagine you were to take all of your paid leave allowance for the whole year and then find that after all the caring you have done you are physically wrecked and need the time off - but guess what you have no holidays left

Just something to think about

And I know it doesnt seem very fair - but life isnt sometimes.

I hope things work out the best way they can for you - I understand this can be a very difficult time, and you know sometimes that is the best sort of boss to have .... not necessarily one that gives you paid leave but one that understands and is supportive. Humanity to pets and their owners is so rarely 'there' for colleagues

Re: compassionate leave

Anonymous — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 13:45:06 GMT

My Mum is chronically ill with various problems, she needs a full-time carer (some of which I wouldn't trust with a healthy animal) and my Dad is not around.

I have had experience of compassionate leave, and from experience of having been given it from work when Ma had live threatening spinal surgery to not being allowed it when she had further live threatenin surgery, which involved being ventalated for 1 week, I would say speak to BVNA and the legal team. Trust me, the law is very confusing and hazzy. My sister is also a lawyer, so i have first hand advice on this kinda stuff.

I am so sorry funkyfish to hear about your Mum. What I do know is its horrid when your trying to think about your Mum, but instead you are worrying about work and what they'll say/do.

Best of luck, and hope I've helped even though its probably not what you want to hear.

Re: compassionate leave

Mac Feather — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 10:31:04 GMT

Funkyfish Im really sorry to hear about your mum.

Re: compassionate leave

Fiona Leathers — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 09:21:17 GMT

I agree with STRVN, I think sometimes people have to put themselves in their bosses shoes and see how the practice runs, how the money comes in & goes out again very quickly. Compassionate leave is not obligatory and can throw practices into turmoil, trying to change shifts at short notice, ensuring there is enough cover so everyone else in the practice doesn't feel stressed etc

Do you have any holidays left that you could take? Or get a sick line from your doctor - it wouldn't be full pay but at least it will be something.

Re: compassionate leave

Sandra Taylor RVN, MBVNA — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 01:30:03 GMT

I think by law you are allowd up to 2 weeks compassionate leave for a close relative, but this is unpaid leave as far as I know, so if any employer is paying anything, then thats a plus. I know some dont see it as fair, and I am not exactly an advocate for the employer in a lot of circumstances, but at the end of the day they are running a business, and possibly/probably a small one at that, so they cannot afford to have a member of staff off long term while being paid.

Re: compassionate leave

Vicky RVN — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 22:14:28 GMT

So sorry to hear about your mum, my thoughts are with you x

When my nan passed away 2 months ago i was off for 2 days prior to her death...she was terminally ill and we didn't know how much longer she was going to be with us. There is no way i could have been at work, i needed to spend those last hours with her or close by. Those days have been taken off my holiday. I would rather have not been paid for those days than take it off my holiday. But at the time i was to upset and all over the place to question it really. The funeral was compassionate leave.

Re: compassionate leave

hissycat — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 22:09:47 GMT

Can't believe how horrible employers can be sometimes! can't they put themselves in your position.. I know times are tough but with something like this they really should support their staff. You must be really down about this, could you try and get signed off? at least you'd get sick pay for a couple of weeks, though I know even this isn't much.

Re: compassionate leave

Kerry Spain — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 21:54:27 GMT

I don't think so its up to the boss in question. I've been informed that I can have as much time as I want off but I will under no circumstance get paid for it!

Re: compassionate leave

Freckle — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 21:04:47 GMT

that's outrageous!

is there any kind of statutory pay like with sick leave?