Bitchiness in practice

RE: Bitchiness in practice

Dreamcatcher — Thu, 12 May 2016 21:17:34 GMT

I think there will always be a certain amount of bitchiness in practice as it's a job where people get very passionate and stressed at times. I get anxious about it too and worry constantly that I'm not doing a good enough job despite trying my best every day. The thing I have found though, is often the people who make the snide comments actually lack confidence in their ow skills and will bring others down to make them feel better. Once I realised this, that the people passing comments were often far from perfect themselves then I was able to not let it affect me as much and have since got better at just concentrating on my own work. I try to avoid negative people in all walks of life and if I hear people talking about someone I try and interject with somethings positive about them... Sooner or later they get the message that I'm just not satisfying to off-load to!

RE: Bitchiness in practice

Sal the 1st — Tue, 10 May 2016 22:46:41 GMT

I am in serious need of positivity this week - I don't know if its the time of the year, the weather, the lunar cycle, BST, post bank holiday blues or something else that I am really not aware of but for the last few weeks I seem to have had dealings with so many miserable people (for whatever reason) and there is only so long you can try and smile through it without getting serious cramp. I have come to the conclusion that there are some people out there that get their kicks from making everybody as miserable as they are.

RE: Bitchiness in practice

Sal the 1st — Tue, 10 May 2016 22:36:24 GMT

[quote user="jojofruits"]

If someone starts to bitch to me about someone else, I find a simple " I don't really want to hear it" does the trick ;) stop them in their tracks and don't get involved.

Being positive at work is so important, I always work hard to create a positive environment, often though its a bit of an uphill struggle. I find the least bitchy practices are those where the managers don't tolerate gossip either!

[/quote]

the phrase I used to use was ..... 'and moving along....' and that made it clear I didn't want to know

RE: Bitchiness in practice

Sam.23 — Tue, 10 May 2016 20:47:26 GMT

Refusing to be involved is probably a good start, people may choose to gossip about you but if you appear not to care they will soon lose interest. However as others have said negativity spreads and it can be pretty hard to shake an atmosphere. If you feel its something you can work through maybe a staff meeting to discuss issues could help.

RE: Bitchiness in practice

kkatkatk — Tue, 10 May 2016 19:38:58 GMT

In every walk of life there are all kinds of people. Any industry. It can cause unnecessary stress which as we all know is very bad for you and it sucks. Only you can decide what to do. You are not a failure if you leave because you don't like to work in a negative environment and your next place could be better... Or worse! Take a gamble or don't but nothing stays the same forever and if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger. Learn from it and grow x

RE: Bitchiness in practice

Vet nurse0000 — Tue, 10 May 2016 13:55:52 GMT

Interesting answers everyone. Definitely agree with that general lethargic feeling going round like flu. I feel this kind of negative environment can make the nicest of people into bitchy people. Also it doesn't help the CD openly does it in front of us.

RE: Bitchiness in practice

Sal the 1st — Tue, 10 May 2016 00:45:30 GMT

[quote user="xhappysvn21x"]

Seem to be having alot of comments regarding pay these days. E.g. dont get paid for this ****. And i find its like flu and kills the whole team.

What does one say to one person that starts the "flu" tangent.

[/quote]

well the practice is paying them for their time - so what else would they rather be doing in the time the practice is paying them for?

I like your 'flu' analogy its spot on.

I worked with somebody who used to sigh a lot or moan/groan, everything was too much trouble - was obvious they didn't want to be there, clock watching and out of the place like a shot at the end of a shift but after a while nobody else wanted to be there either especially in the vicinity of this particular person it put a real downer on things for every single person in the practice.

There is usually one (or more) in every practice.

If one of the drug companies could come up with a vaccine to prevent the spread - they would be sitting on an absolute goldmine and if they do I hope they don't forget to credit me with the idea

RE: Bitchiness in practice

xhappysvn21x — Mon, 09 May 2016 22:44:03 GMT

Same in our practice. So busy, many staff and little room. Then collegues feel one isnt doing enough and gets frustrated. Seem to be having alot of comments regarding pay these days. E.g. dont get paid for this ****. And i find its like flu and kills the whole team.

I never understand how 1 management can subside the attitude when they all feel the same. Especially when they know they can all do the job really well.

What does one say to one person that starts the "flu" tangent.

RE: Bitchiness in practice

chris beasley — Mon, 09 May 2016 21:09:45 GMT

We have a ongoing problem with the head receptironist. She has been there longer than any other person and is very good at her job. But sometimes she decides to do your job and says very negative things when questioned as to why she has done it and cannot understand why we get upset! Even the boss doesn't know how to change things!

RE: Bitchiness in practice

jo wynn — Mon, 09 May 2016 20:10:19 GMT

I think it's hard, you have predominantly female staff. Per ratio vets are more likely to be female, so in some instances you can have a female practice manager, female boss, female jnr vet, female head nurse, female head receptionist.... The team has to work. People have to know that there will be stressful tread on toes days but these will be matched be *coffee and cake at 11* I think the biggest thing is making everyone feel part of one team

RE: Bitchiness in practice

Selena Carnell — Mon, 09 May 2016 15:46:29 GMT

Its not just confined to female nurses, I have found some male vets bitchy. Constantly bitching about the other partner, how he doesn't earn enough for the practice, how he wastes money etc, this was openly to other staff members too, i found it very disrespectful and not profession at all coming from a partner.

RE: Bitchiness in practice

Arlo Guthrie — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:50:14 GMT

[quote user="Teresa Horspool"]it doesn't help when you are unable to turn to the next in the chain above you[/quote]

Is that at the heart of the problem, I wonder.

What I mean is, I wonder to what degree a good leader is able to stop bitching amongst the team (either by example, or by just not tolerating it?)

Anyone worked in a particularly harmonious practice, and was it, in your opinion, down to the boss? Or was it just that it was a group of people that happened to get along well?

RE: Bitchiness in practice

Teresa Horspool — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:42:29 GMT

I find it gets very wearing being the only positive person in the place - it doesn't help when you are unable to turn to the next in the chain above you - often they are too busy trying to be friends with everyone rather than stopping the bitching in the first place! Had enough eventually and became a locum - much happier as I can choose to return to a place rather than put up with it. Spent a lot of years in practice so feel that I deserve a more peaceful life doing the job I still enjoy

RE: Bitchiness in practice

jojofruits — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:08:31 GMT

worst places for bitchiness ever? livery yards!!! I think that's why I honed my " zero tolerance" skills haha

RE: Bitchiness in practice

kittyboots — Mon, 09 May 2016 12:46:28 GMT

Do you find it it pointed at just one person or is it how things are structured? Can the problems be raised in confidence with the management or during staff meets or is it personal bitching?

Some workplaces are worse than others, my previous training clinic was terribly bitchy/bullying and it resulting in me leaving

Unfortunately bitchiness seems to be part of working in a female industry, I find it all abit odd as I worked in a male dominated industry before and they say it like it is!

RE: Bitchiness in practice

jojofruits — Mon, 09 May 2016 12:23:02 GMT

If someone starts to bitch to me about someone else, I find a simple " I don't really want to hear it" does the trick ;) stop them in their tracks and don't get involved.

RE: Bitchiness in practice

Sal the 1st — Sun, 08 May 2016 21:54:18 GMT

[quote user="Selena "]

sadly it does seem to happen in most practices, some will be worse than others. sometimes best to keep your head down and get on with the work.

[/quote]

unfortunately that has been my experience in most places I have worked. It really makes me smile when I see job ads for some of the places I have worked and the terms 'friendly' or 'close knit team' come up (repeatedly because they can't hang onto staff). Some of those ads would be worthy contenders for the Booker Prize.

The easiest way to pee off the gossips is to not repeat the gossip to anybody else and then the Chinese whispers just dies a death.

its difficult - you keep your head down and get on with the job and then you get accused of not fitting in or being stand offish or you join in and then you become just as bad as everybody else. Somewhere in between is a middle road its just a case of finding it in a particular practice.

As an aside the very worst case of bitching I have ever come across in practice was actually 3 male vets. All together in the same room they were the bestest of buddies but if one of them wasn't present the other two really went to town on the absentee - and it wasn't one of them being singled out because they were all equally obnoxious to each other.

Have a go at changing the way you view this. Instead of focusing on the bitching and what might or might not have been said instead focus on the individual and what might make them the way they are ( and if you can't work out what it is - make it up - be as outrageous as you want, it doesn't need to be serious in fact its better if it isn't, but just don't share it with anybody! keep it to yourself) its a lot more fun and it will alter the way you behave towards that person when they are around which in turn will alter the way they behave towards you.Hope that made sense?

RE: Bitchiness in practice

Selena Carnell — Sun, 08 May 2016 21:07:41 GMT

sadly it does seem to happen in most practices, some will be worse than others. sometimes best to keep your head down and get on with the work.

RE: Bitchiness in practice

Cameron Norsworthy — Sun, 08 May 2016 20:51:16 GMT

[quote user="vet nurse2015"]Is it like this in all practices? [/quote]

You are almost certain to observe some form of 'bitchiness' in every practice. By working in the stressful environment which we do, tensions will always rise at certain times and it can become easy for one person to inadvertently frustrate another person, which then results in back-stabbing and bitchy conversations.

[quote user="vet nurse2015"]I realise in a mostly female environment this is likely going to happen.[/quote]

From my perspective as a male, not a day goes by without witnessing my colleagues moaning about each other or slagging each other off! What I don't always understand is how person 1 can have a perfectly polite conversation to person 2, but will then 'bitch' about person 2 as soon as they leave the room! Don't get me wrong, us guys will have moan but it seems that we may tend to be more straight-talking than women at times, and will quite happily tell each other what we're doing wrong or why we might be annoying each other and would rather deal with any potential tensions before they escalate and develop into full-blown arguments. However, that statement is simply my opinion and is constructed from my personal observations and conversations from working within my current practice for three years and consists of 8 (does fluctuate) males and approx 20-25 females.

[quote user="vet nurse2015"]But I hate it and just want to focus on the animals without worrying if someone is bitching about me. It really makes me feel anxious. [/quote]

The more you think about it, the more anxious you will become and this may well affect your efficiency as an employee and, perhaps more importantly, your job satisfaction. Try to focus on not adding fuel to the fire and joining in with any 'bitchy' conversations, and try prevent them finding fault in your work. You can't please everybody (I've learnt that the hard way a couple of times) but sometimes you just need to keep your head down, get on with the work which needs doing and rather than listen/join existing conversations, remove yourself from the situation and focus your attention on a more productive activity.
"What goes around, comes around" - your employers will notice who the gossipers are and will value you higher than them if you don't participate with the 'bitching'.

Hope this helps :)