So Stressed

Re: So Stressed

Fiona Leathers — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:53:51 GMT

My ar*ehole of a boss did that to me when I left my first job, didn't speak for 6 weeks, then he went on holiday the week I left, so he didn't have to say goodbye. Rise above it and remember that you are better than them anyday!!

Re: So Stressed

Mac Feather — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 09:34:05 GMT

Carry on being the fab nurse that you are. Im sorry your boss has stopped communicating, people can be strange thats for sure!

Re: So Stressed

Mrs Dot Dot — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 06:45:36 GMT

Just believe in yourself!!

Re: So Stressed

MrsP — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 23:26:40 GMT

Know it's taken me a while to reply. Difficult situation at work. I'm one of those who works their best and hardest until their last day, but boss has stopped communicating with me.

I feel really sad and disappointed. Guess quite a few of you have had similar experiences and I shouldn't be surprised, but I'm determined to rise above it and make the most of the next few weeks with the great team I work with.

Thanks again for all of your feedback. Felt a bit silly posting this issue initially, but you've all really helped me. Thank you

Re: So Stressed

Caro Laithwaite VN — Tue, 26 May 2009 10:50:46 GMT

Many years ago when l left the greyhound kennels after 7 years the boss didn't speak to me. It was a shame he ok. I stayed in touch with the head kennel girl she was fantastic. Funnily enough l was upset that l never got to speak to H again as he died after a few years.

Re: So Stressed

MrsP — Tue, 26 May 2009 10:36:34 GMT

Thanks for all of your comments, I really appreciate them. I actually feel calmer this morning than I thought I would. 'Cherry on the turd' is definitely gonna be my quote of the week! You're totally right.

Yes, we have also been struggling along on locums so I do feel really guilty, but i've got to do what makes me happy (well, hopefully!), haven't I?

Gonna have a nice cup of tea now and go and see what's in store for me today!

Re: So Stressed

Louise B — Tue, 26 May 2009 09:42:50 GMT

[quote user="Dippy"]

Heather said that your boss's reaction says a lot about her but it also says a lot about you in a roundabout sort of way - you're obviously great at your job or she wouldn't be so bothered about losing you! Also, perhaps HER stress levels are at a peak at the moment too and she felt like this was just another thing to have to deal with, adjusting rotas, finding a replacement (which can be hard) etc, especially if others have left fairly recently. As has been said, vets are often not trained to be managers and it may just have been a knee-jerk reaction (not professional or helpful to you admittedly) but she may have spent the weekend thinking about it and be back to normal today. Fingers crossed and good luck with the new job!

[/quote]

Hey MrsP. I think I know the practice you are at (we have chatted recently). I know its difficult but I wouldn't take it personally. From what I have seen your practice has been struggling along for months on locum nurses - my guess is that the owner is just stressed out from the pressures of trying to recruitment/maintain a stable team. That's not your fault but she is probably just knee-jerk lashing out. She may well calm down and apologise. Plus, as others have said - she wouldn't be upset if you were a lousy nurse so its kind of a backhanded compliment

Re: So Stressed

Mac Feather — Tue, 26 May 2009 09:17:43 GMT

[quote user="Dippy"]

[/quote]

Dippy has a good point there too- You obviously will be missed and it will impact on rotas etc. I never thought about the 'knee-jerk reaction' but thats also a good point, sometimes things are said when you are having a crappy day and maybe hearing your news was the cherry on the turd and her thoughts came out immediately.

We all react differently, as I said one boss ignored me,wasnt even asked anything about my decision,didnt even get a good luck or a goodbye, my first ever boss was initially a bit short with me but was ok after that.

Re: So Stressed

Dippy — Tue, 26 May 2009 06:03:32 GMT

Re: So Stressed

louiseRVN — Mon, 25 May 2009 22:59:40 GMT

Hey mrs P,

congrats on your new job, Its a shame your boss is being a pain, I handed in my notice last week, and boss couldnt have been nicer, which actually made me feel guilty for leaving. My so called colleges however have proved to be a set of back stabbers.

I am going to work with one of he vets who has just left, to set up his own practice, and has asked me to go work for him, the fact that he didnt ask the other nurses has set off the little green eyed monster with some people. So like you am dreading going to work tomorrow. Think you just have to realise things will get better and they will have other worries to deal with. Although if anyone was to have a tantrum I would have expected it to be my boss.

I hope I didnt just make you feel worse,

chin up and good luck tomorrow xxx

Re: So Stressed

MrsP — Mon, 25 May 2009 21:43:16 GMT

[quote user="heather mac"]

Your other work mates will be sad you are going but they will be pleased for you too.

[/quote]

I hope so...

Re: So Stressed

Mac Feather — Mon, 25 May 2009 21:13:04 GMT

Your other work mates will be sad you are going but they will be pleased for you too.

Re: So Stressed

MrsP — Mon, 25 May 2009 21:05:52 GMT

Thanks, Mrs Dot Dot.

Think I'm gonna look at this thread every evening I get in from work for the next 2 months! I've always got on well with her and everyone at the practice and I suppose I'm just worried that if she's reacted like this everyone else will too. Know that probably sounds stupid and I shouldn't care but I do. I totally agree about the vet/manager thing. Thanks again.

Re: So Stressed

Mac Feather — Mon, 25 May 2009 21:04:03 GMT

Your boss's reaction says an awful lot about her and its not good.

Yes you have better things to look forward to, keep on doing your job as you have been and it wont be too long before you are off out the door to your new place.

Re: So Stressed

MrsP — Mon, 25 May 2009 20:59:46 GMT

[quote user="heather mac"]

Some people react weirdly when staff hand their notice in, my last boss didnt even acknowledge me handing my notice in, didnt even say bye on my last day!

Takes allsorts to make a world.

How long do you have to work there till you go?

Sounds like you are moving on to better things,things that are better for YOU- and thats whats important- you, not your hissyfitting boss.

[/quote]

Thank you.

I've got 2 months. Think it's gonna feel like the whole of eternity.

My new practice seem really happy to have me and have been very accommodating and understanding even before I've started work there! Just gotta focus on that somehow.

Re: So Stressed

Mrs Dot Dot — Mon, 25 May 2009 20:55:59 GMT

Just remember you are a much better, more mature person than your boss! And you will be moving onto better things! If she does say nasty things to the rest of the staff, then that just proves it!

Try not to worry about it too much... the other people at the practice who mean something to you will understand/ see thru her. She has hurt pride and isn't able to deal with it. See if anybody has seen her react to other employees in the same way previously.. I bet they have ... which definately means it is not personnal.

I was at a practice for 7 years and found another vn job as things were getting on top of me there too much, and I didn't want to start taking pills..... my boss just ignored me completely for my months notice period, and had great pleasure in deleting my phone number from his phone as soon as I had handed my notice in, in front of one of the other nurses, who then had great pleasure in telling me all about..... which did nothing for my stress levels and self-esteem! But vets aren't trained to be managers of people, and very few are sucessful... in fact very few people at all are sucessful people managers!

Re: So Stressed

Mac Feather — Mon, 25 May 2009 20:55:56 GMT

Some people react weirdly when staff hand their notice in, my last boss didnt even acknowledge me handing my notice in, didnt even say bye on my last day!

Takes allsorts to make a world.

How long do you have to work there till you go?

Sounds like you are moving on to better things,things that are better for YOU- and thats whats important- you, not your hissyfitting boss.

Re: So Stressed

MrsP — Mon, 25 May 2009 20:54:56 GMT

Thanks. I'm all for the avoidance route, but she's very much still a practicing vet. She said she was disappointed but she guessed she should be 'used to people doing this sort of thing to her by now'. What's that?!? I'm not leaving to annoy her. I'll try to keep my cool and just get on with my job.

Re: So Stressed

Nick Shackleton — Mon, 25 May 2009 20:42:47 GMT

I'd just go hold your head high and get of with your work for the term of your notice. When I handed in my notice at one of the practices I used to work at i got a "why am I not surprised" response. My head nurse was a B***h to me before handing my notice and even worse with me after. But I just held onto the thought that I'd soon be outta that place and on to better things. Chin up and just think on the new place your moving on to.

Re: So Stressed

Sandra Taylor RVN, MBVNA — Mon, 25 May 2009 20:38:55 GMT

Go in see how the land lies and if she is still having a hissy fit, take her aside and tell her to grow the F**K up and act like the professional she is supposed to be............no seriously have a word with her if she is still pissed off, let her know your reasons, and if she is still not happy then there is not much else you can do but get on with your job until you leave.

Re: So Stressed

Maisy — Mon, 25 May 2009 20:38:46 GMT

Hi,

I'd just keep your head down and rise above any of her sarky comments. Its a shame when employers start to have little childish tantrums when an employee dare to move on, but I'm sure others in the practice will realise its her being in the wrong here, not you.

Hope all goes well.

Re: So Stressed

Anonymous — Mon, 25 May 2009 20:36:59 GMT

sometimes people can be really nasty when it comes to saying goodbye or when an employee leaves. I wouldn't take it personally. She may just be one of those people. I had worked for a lady for some time at a horse farm back in the US and when I told her I was moving to the UK and I wasn't able to work for her anymore she flipped out. But then after a few months when I came back she had changed her tune. Some times people can get really defensive or just react due to a childhood thing and nothing to do with you. It's just something they do.