Things clients say

RE: Things clients say

Clairebearozzy — Sun, 06 Mar 2016 17:02:47 GMT

Yesterday a client brought her cat in for a check up. "He's blind" she told me as we walked into the exam room. She put the carrier up onto the table, opened the door and before I could do anything the cat walked out of the carrier and off the end of the table, landing on his face.

"I told you he was blind" she told me as I checked him over.

When the Doctor came into the room to examine him she put him back on the table and as he was rubbing up against the owner she moved and he walked off the table again.

"He's blind" she states again as I rush over to pick him up. The cat is now crouched in the corner, too afraid to move.

Poor cat.

RE: Things clients say

k.91 — Sun, 06 Mar 2016 12:41:44 GMT

Was discharging an OOH patient the other week when the client who looked a little worse for wear asked "so, why did Charlie have to come here?"

me "we're you're practices out of hours provider, so we see any emergencies there clients may have at night. Most practices use a seperate out of hours practice"

client "no i mean, why did he have to come to the vets?"

turns out her friend had brought the dog in when he cut his pad on some glass at her house party and the owner didnt know anything about it until she was called an hour earlier to say that Charlie could be collected.

"i bought a new house plant but my cats jealous of it, what should i do?" was also a good one

RE: Things clients say

Clairebearozzy — Sat, 05 Mar 2016 01:01:47 GMT

A client told me she put the topical flea prevention in the dogs ears because the fleas liked to hide in there.

RE: Things clients say

Emmacampbell — Fri, 04 Mar 2016 23:01:21 GMT

I had a client ages ago ask me how the dog scales worked, the question they asked was.... Do I have to put the dog on the scales?

RE: Things clients say

Claire Coulthard RVN — Fri, 04 Mar 2016 19:44:41 GMT

not what a client said but rather what they did...

arrived at reception brandishing a katkor tube ...the stopper in the right place and not jammed all the way in the tube like usual....but instead of urine in the tube ..it was full to the top of katkor beads!!??

he just didn't understand when I tried to explain that we just needed the urine and not the beads...use the pipette ....nope just blank looks...bless

RE: Things clients say

PJ Zurawel — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 11:07:15 GMT

I had a lady in consult tell me that her male entire dog was humping her other male dog and wondered if he could actually perform the act!

RE: Things clients say

Alison Clare Hickman — Wed, 02 Mar 2016 20:23:40 GMT

We had a call from an elderly chap wanting to purchase one of the puppies advertised in our flyer. He thought it was a great price for such lovely looking dogs. Eh?? We don't sell puppies sir!

Turns out he thought the advert for our New Pet Packs (the usual flea and wormers, vaccines etc),which featured photos of puppies and kitten, were of animals for sale. Erm, nooooo sir, if you read the further blurb under the banner... However, try as we might he wasn't convinced otherwise and reported that he was going to call us back later in the week when he'd made a confirmed choice which one he wanted... one to replace the last dog he had which died... (wait for it)... just after the Second World War. Oh dear. Bless him. You can't make it up, can you?!

Ali h

RE: Things clients say

Sam.23 — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 23:55:09 GMT

Personal favourite was the guy who booked an appointment for a cat but didnt realise he had to bring the cat to the appointment and turned up without it

RE: Things clients say

Sal the 1st — Mon, 29 Feb 2016 20:12:18 GMT

and todays little gem

C- can you tell me when my dogs vaccinations are due?

after a bit of checking I established dog isn't even registered with us

V - Which practice do you usually use?

C - cant you just scan his chip, it can't be that difficult

V - sorry but the chip doesn't give that information, its just to help get him back to you if he gets lost

went into a little bit of detail about microchips but could see client glazing over. I thought I was being helpful in suggesting either the client , or with their permission, I could call previous practice (neighbouring practice) to find out date of last booster when client stomped out telling me what they thought about microchips and how they were a con and a waste of money

RE: Things clients say

Alison Clare Hickman — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 21:16:34 GMT

I was chatting to a client who had adopted a stray cat... He couldn't decide what to call him. He toyed with Bradley, he considered Nathaniel. He opted for Nad as a short combination.I COULDN'T bring myself, just COULD NOT tell him to be careful never to say "Go" to Nad. At least not in polite company ...

tee hee hee. Makes me giggle thinking about it.

RE: Things clients say

WelshyNurse — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 21:02:38 GMT

'my dog was sprayed 3 years ago, I've now decided to have a littler from her'

'can I book my dog in to be circumcised'

RE: Things clients say

Sal the 1st — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 20:06:39 GMT

This one had me completely flummoxed yesterday but at least by the end of it the client was laughing as well C=Client P = practice

C - Hello I have just been reading about Arboretums Disease and want to know if you have the injection for it

P OK - Arboretums Disease - is that Arboretum as in trees?

C - No its my dog I want to make sure he doesn't get it. I have just rung my own vet up and they didn't know what it was either, honestly you would think you people would keep up with these new diseases! (client sounding very angry)

P Right lets just see if I know about it under another name? I wonder if we call it something else? When you were reading did it mention Alabama Rot? (thinking about a recent local paper article where dog owners were avoiding the woods)

C no its not that one I know about that and there isn't a cure for it. Arboretums needs a monthly injection and it stops the dog getting it

P can you tell me a bit more about the disease? ( OMG help me somebody please)This must be a really new disease and I will ask one of the vets for you

C yes they get it from ticks - how come nobody knows what I am talking about its been in the magazines and everything (getting really ratty)

P ( at last I twigged what he was on about!) All righty yes I think I understand which disease you mean now - we have a slighty different name for it I think thats where the difficulty is - I think we call it Borreliosis as in Lymes Disease, does that sound right?.

C yes thats the one sounds a bit like Arboretums - so how do I get the monthly jabs?

P its a spot on you do it at home are you using( ....... name of product) already ?

C yes I always use it every month

P thats good so you are already doing the right stuff to keep (dogs name) safe

C (laughing) - I am sorry for laughing but no wonder my vets didn't know what I was on about. Thank you for your help. Would it be very easy for me to swap to your vets at least you didn't think I was a plonker and could work out what I was on about - and I think it might be a bit difficult to show my face in there again after the earful I just gave them

P its easily done - especially when you are worried. You could always send a box of chocs and a little note - nurses like chocolate

C what sort of chocolate do you like?

RE: Things clients say

Alison Clare Hickman — Fri, 21 Nov 2014 12:14:51 GMT

My latest eh what? shudder, shock, utter puzzlement and then keep a straight face and don't giggle moment was when a client phoned up to say he wanted us to "microwave" his dog.

Oh, you mean microCHIP sir.... like for identity purposes?

"No" he said...You know, er um that thing submarines use to see things"

Er, radar? I was a bit confused. So I asked him what was going on with the dog.

"Bitch got caught by me collie t'other week and I wanna see if she's got pups".

Aaah! the mists cleared. You mean an ultrasound scan sir!". No problem.

Ali h

RE: Things clients say

Shelly vn — Thu, 20 Nov 2014 18:16:56 GMT

A client once came in and said that he want to book his dog in "to have his pockets picked". After asking him to elaborate on this it turns out he wanted him castrated!

RE: Things clients say

Sal the 1st — Tue, 18 Nov 2014 22:01:49 GMT

reminds me of this one

client - I want to book my cat in for the c word

nurse - can you elaborate on what you are meaning by the c word

client - I want him castigating. The dirty little bleeder keeps peeing on the bath mat

RE: Things clients say

Ben Ogden — Tue, 18 Nov 2014 15:32:25 GMT

Had a client today requesting to get their dog neutroned. /me slaps forehead..............

Re: Things clients say

Nichola Healey — Fri, 19 Sep 2014 22:00:00 GMT

While emptying a dogs anal glands (who had had regular expressions and numerous infections in the past) a lady starting asking all sorts of questions about kennel cough and the dog chewing it's feet. She got me so confused and when I finally got to the bottom of it (pardon the pun) I explained that I had never heard of a dog showing signs of kennel cough by chewing it's feet. I had however seen lots of dogs who need their anal glands expressing chewing their feet. She was adamant it was kennel cough and asked me to give the dog something for it. I said see if he stops now I've expressed his grape sized anal glands and if not she should come back to see a vet about its "kennel cough"

Re: Things clients say

Johnathan Prior — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 09:06:13 GMT

Bats are common over most of england. Hard to spot in the night as they are quick. Carry many diseases so that client was right to be cautious

Re: Things clients say

Mark Hedberg — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 08:49:53 GMT

Very true!

Re: Things clients say

Nicola Smith — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 06:30:46 GMT

Uk bats can actually carry rabies too!!

Re: Things clients say

Kyra Anderson — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 21:06:03 GMT

I had a woman phone up the other day urgently wanting to book her cat in for a rabies jab. I told her we could do that then, somewhat suspicious as we very rarely issue pet passports to cats, asked her where she was planning on going to discuss passport processes etc. Her: "Nowhere, a bat flew into my room and I can't find it and google said they carry rabies!" Me: "I see. And was this website from America, maybe?" Her: "Yes, does that matter?"

Dr Google once more causing more trouble than solving...

Re: Things clients say

Elerrina — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 18:34:59 GMT

We had a client phone up asking if he could put some advocate on his dogs tail, we were slightly confused and advised him it all needs to go on the back of the neck so they can't lick it. He then told us "no it lasts 4 weeks, you put a bit on every week"

Re: Things clients say

Alison Clare Hickman — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 17:09:25 GMT

Hahahhahah - I kept my face (sort of straight during this one)!

Today in a pre-op neuter check. Woman used the term 'dingleberries' to describe her dogs, (ahem), testicles. Her young daughter piped up..."I had them on my breakfast today, didn't I mummy?".... oops. " No-o-o-o you had strawberries darling"...

heheheh

Re: Things clients say

Leanne Butterwick — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 16:56:06 GMT

I once had an O come in for an appt to check if her cat had worms. She had found some "white things" on her daughters bed and thought they had come from the cat. She bought the "white things" in with her and I had a look at them only to discover she had brought me some grains of rice!!

Re: Things clients say

emma clarke — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 07:54:46 GMT

I once tried explaining to a client that their cat had fleas only for them to say well he can't have he's black. So I clarified with the O that because he was black does this mean he can't get fleas to which they said yes. I said well unfortunately fleas are not colour specific and your black cat does indeed have fleas.