time to let go??

Re: time to let go??

Saskia Quinn — Tue, 12 May 2009 23:37:21 GMT

Helen,

thank you very much for that, I appreciate it. What you are saying certainly does make sense and I wont do anything without consulting with Phillip first. He does know Rosie is sore and needs her meds but he doesnt seem to realise that her time is nearly up, so I dont want to say more to him until that times is near/comes.

I think John, my husband will probably have to do a lot of the talking that day as I am sure I will be inconsolable

Re: time to let go??

Helen Freer — Mon, 11 May 2009 23:24:18 GMT

Saskia, it was a couple of days before my 10th birthday, so I was bit older than your Phillip. I am sure Phillip has seen the problems Rosie has been having and you giving her medicine and that you have explained to him about her problems in easily understood terms.

When you sadly have to make the decision,include him in the decision in that you explain why and how you have come to this decision that you can free her from pain and suffeering but to do so we have to suffer as we have to loose our friend and let him morn in what ever way he wishes. May be even bury Rosie in the garden, or I have a set of photos in one picture frame of my dogs that have past away and another of my cats so they are always there, or you could make a remembrance scapbook of Rosie to remembeer all the good times she had and that she will be having more after you have freed her from pain.

It is a hard lesson to learn but dieing is part of living and if leanrt at an early age I believe it is not such a shock when death occurs in later life, personally I beleive it has helped my cope with the death of both my parents.

I hope this is of some help

Re: time to let go??

Saskia Quinn — Mon, 11 May 2009 23:14:20 GMT

Indeed that is a wonderful story Suzanne. Thanks for sharing it. I will certainly bear that in mind when I need to.

Re: time to let go??

Suzanne Small — Mon, 11 May 2009 23:11:40 GMT

I heard this story once about a family pet put to sleep in his own home. The little one, who was about four or five at the time, was brought into the room so that he could see what was going on and maybe understand. However, he didnt seem upset at the dogs passing and when his parents questioned him he came out with a very innocent reply.

He said 'I was told that god put us here to stay until we learned how to love and be good. Well, dogs already know how to do that dont they?'

I thought that was a wonderful story

Re: time to let go??

Saskia Quinn — Mon, 11 May 2009 22:59:29 GMT

Apologies Helen, you had already said your age at the time!

Re: time to let go??

Saskia Quinn — Mon, 11 May 2009 22:58:47 GMT

That is a very sad story Helen, but what a beautiful way for your parents to explain the reason to you. What age were you at the time if you dont mind me asking?

Its just that my dog, Rosie (my avatar) will have to be pts in the very near future and we are all so attached to her that it breaks my heart to wonder how my sons will cope. Phillip is 6 and Matthew is 3, I am more worried about Phillip though so I would appreiate any tips.

Re: time to let go??

Helen Freer — Mon, 11 May 2009 22:52:26 GMT

[quote user="MissVetNurse"]

One thing I think is that euthanasia, to me anyway, I feel priviliged that I can help end suffering and they can have a dignified passing.

I always tell owners this when they talk to me about PTS and that they couldnt do it and its so sad.

I get upset with every PTS, its someones beloved pet and a life. But again I'm priviliged to be able to help them drift away quickly, pain free and end their suffering

[/quote]

I agree with missvetnurse, over the years I have had to have 9 dogs and 6 cats put to sleep but i always keep in my mind that it is the last gift I can give my pet to let them die with dignity and no suffering. Though I remember every pet i have had to have put to sleep my own (and my neighbours) but the one that still sticks in my mind the most is the first , it was just before my tenth birthday when my boxer Brutus who i had grown up with (as my parents had got him before i was born), had to be pts due to cancer, I remember crying my eyes out but my parents sat me down and explained why and that he would have been in pain if he had stayed alive and was it fair for me to want to keep him alive for me but in doing so to cause him pain. It was a hard lesson at the time to learn but i am glad I did.

Re: time to let go??

Fleabee99 — Mon, 11 May 2009 21:51:43 GMT

oh paula he was a beast and he just laid in one of the back rooms all day so i could go in every so often and stroke him lovely boy!!

Re: time to let go??

Saskia Quinn — Mon, 11 May 2009 21:33:55 GMT

I am practically drooling here Sarah hehe

(Sshhh...dont tell my Pretty Rose, she would be most offended lol!!)

Re: time to let go??

Fleabee99 — Mon, 11 May 2009 21:31:04 GMT

i am very much a proclaimed ratty lover but that giant german sheperd i saw today i would have taken home in a heart beat, he was gorgeous i still think it was a lion with its mane shaved off

Re: time to let go??

Saskia Quinn — Mon, 11 May 2009 21:15:56 GMT

Hi Dodabby,

first of all, welcome to the forum!! Great to have you on board and I look forward to chatting!

Yes, it was one of those euthanasia's you never forget, I know I never will. He was such a gorgeous handsome boy with his lovely rain proof coat. I am still thinking about him. Had he not had so many problems and had I not had enough dogs of my own, I certainly would have taken him on had the possibility arisen.

But, he had a great life with his owners and was very happy, even till the end so that is the way I am trying to look at it.

When the time comes for me to have another dog, I am going to rescue a german shepherd, I absolutely love them!

Re: time to let go??

Karen S — Mon, 11 May 2009 14:32:53 GMT

[quote user="SaskiaVN"]Anyway, time came to do the deed and I knelt down on the floor beside him, and he gave me his paw and he wouldnt stop giving me his paw, it was heartbreaking and if affected me for the rest of the day Though it was a lovely end, into vein first time, he never even flinched and just relaxed in my arms.

[/quote]

I am new to the forum and just read this... i have three GSD's and reading this has gotten me in tears :( I am dreading that day, two of them are 9 years old and if they give me the paw when that time comes i dont think i would cope.

Re: time to let go??

Claire Cameron — Sun, 10 May 2009 21:47:24 GMT

Sorry to hear about everyone and losing their pets, I too miss mine terribly, every day I think of my beloved pets I've lost.

One thing I think is that euthanasia, to me anyway, I feel priviliged that I can help end suffering and they can have a dignified passing.

I always tell owners this when they talk to me about PTS and that they couldnt do it and its so sad.

I get upset with every PTS, its someones beloved pet and a life. But again I'm priviliged to be able to help them drift away quickly, pain free and end their suffering

Re: time to let go??

Fleabee99 — Sun, 10 May 2009 16:17:18 GMT

[quote user="sarah parrott"]a ball for months after they go [/quote]

*i not a*

Re: time to let go??

Fleabee99 — Sun, 10 May 2009 16:16:14 GMT

im really sorry to hear about sally, i have rats for 2-3years and a ball for months after they go so i couldnt imagine what its like losing a furry friend after 17yrs but it sounds like you defo did to right thing for her, she will be legging it around up there now, waiting until she sees you again thats what i believe anyway

and paula i know what you mean, when my second raty bubble had to be pts in jan when i picked up chris to come with me in the middle of the night she put her paw on his friends finger when he put it in to stroke her, i just broke down and thought i was doing to wrong thing as she was still being affectionate, but by the time we got to the vets she was getting cold and the therm couldnt detect her temp she was my softy and i miss her everyday but because we helped her on her train (as i say) i like to think she suffered less and is at peace now

i hope you feel better katy as for me personally i think its the worst thing in the world to lose a furry friend but i hope you feel better in knowing that you did the right thing and your sally will be smiling now

Re: time to let go??

chris beasley — Sun, 10 May 2009 11:52:09 GMT

I had a bad eve last wednesday. \we had 3 euthansias!

BUT- each onen had their individual problems, and having watched two of these cats worsen over a few days, the time had definatly come. Both had domitor and fell asleep in owners arms.

3rd one was a mangled fox. It was a pleasure to ease its pain.

Still it does always leave you thinking!

Re: time to let go??

Sandra Taylor RVN, MBVNA — Sun, 10 May 2009 11:05:34 GMT

[quote user="heather mac"]

Its not an easy decision to make but if you feel shes sore and unhappy then as Caro says its about quality of life.

I think we would all want our pets to slip away when the time comes but they rarely do. It prob sounds a bit wrong to say this ,but its a final act of kindness. Not easy though.

[/quote]

ditto to that.

Re: time to let go??

Saskia Quinn — Sun, 10 May 2009 10:41:28 GMT

How old is Ellie, Katy?

I assisted with one of the worst euthanasia's ever on Friday. It was a very old german shepherd who was going off his back legs and had his hair all shaved because of a bad skin condition. The dog was in good form but the owners couldnt cope with the heartache of watching him struggle and he was eating at himself due to the skin condition.

They truely loved him and he was wearing a lovely coat to keep him warm.

Anyway, time came to do the deed and I knelt down on the floor beside him, and he gave me his paw and he wouldnt stop giving me his paw, it was heartbreaking and if affected me for the rest of the day Though it was a lovely end, into vein first time, he never even flinched and just relaxed in my arms.

Re: time to let go??

katy coleman — Sun, 10 May 2009 10:14:40 GMT

thank you all again for all your kind wishes, ellie is absolutely fine she mentioned this morning when she got up she wanted to see her doggies, i said you mean doggy because sally isn't here now and she just said o yes i forgot and got on with things!!!!

i think its because i said she went to heaven and didn't say she'd died i think she thinks shes gone somewhere else, which is fine, as long as she realises she isn't coming back i don't need to go into detail with her.

thanks again x

Re: time to let go??

Vicky RVN — Sat, 09 May 2009 13:18:39 GMT

Sorry to hear about her, euthanasia is the hardest decision but i agree with others who say it's the final act of kindness we can do for our pets. When we were doing a pts on a GSD the other day the client said "this must be the worst part of your job", the vet said "no it's not really, because we can let them go when they're ready and they can be at peace". It's so true.

Children are amazing with how they cope with things, my thoughts are with you and your family x

Re: time to let go??

katy coleman — Sat, 09 May 2009 12:55:27 GMT

i have just told her and suprisingly when i explained that she was in pain and mummy could not make her better and that she has gone to heaven she just said, ok and carried on doing what she was doing!!! don't think its hit her yet maybe at bedtime but so far she has accepted better than me and hubby - children are so amazing!!

Re: time to let go??

Mac Feather — Sat, 09 May 2009 12:11:52 GMT

When I was little on the farm and we had to have dogs put down what helped me was my parents would bury them and I had a place to go to say bye to them. I know thats not an option for everyone.

Re: time to let go??

Mac Feather — Sat, 09 May 2009 12:09:50 GMT

I dont have kids so I really dont know what to say apart from telling her what happened and that it was because the poor dog wasnt very well.

Wish there was something I could suggest to make it easier.

Re: time to let go??

Saskia Quinn — Sat, 09 May 2009 12:07:57 GMT

I am sure it was totally heartbreaking for you. You must allow yourself time to grieve also, however long it takes.

My children have also suffered from the loss of our dalmatian 2 years ago. Phillip was 4 at the time. I found it really helped for me to tell him a little story about Gismo.

I told him that Gismo was too sick to stay with us and that God sent down the Angels to bring him to heaven where he would become well again. Of course, I still get the odd question, even now, as to why Gismo cant come back but I tell him that God would be sad if Gismo left him.

Time will help Ellie, if she is old enough to understand and do let her cry, that is how she will come to terms with Sally.

Re: time to let go??

katy coleman — Sat, 09 May 2009 12:02:48 GMT

thanks everyone for all your replies.

she at peace now and although it was terrible and i'm still crying about it i'm already feeling we've done the right thing. my husband was in complete agreement when he saw her this morning so we have grieved together.

my main worry now is ellie. she has been at dancing this morning after i emergency shipped my mother in to take her and is due home any minute. i have taken one the children bereavement books from work but she is too young to understand this.

she cried for 2 days when we had to leave the dogs at grandma's whilst we went on hols 2 weeks ago, she is a very emotional little girl and obsessed with her pets. I know i will just have to tell her i just hope she understands. this is the first real experience of death for her and its making me feel so shitty for her. i want to protect her from anything that might make her feel sad which is completely ridiculous and i know i can't but it doesn't stop me wanting to try.

thanks again everyone i knew i could count on you all for support, x