bully boss? :-(

Re: bully boss? :-(

janie550 — Fri, 04 Oct 2013 12:00:24 GMT

Is he just like it with you or with others too? Perhaps he has some personal stuff going on which has affected his mood of late. Have you spoken to the other nurses about it? I think you need to confront him too but if you feel you might get emotional talking to him about it perhaps you could write it down instead, explain how you are feeling and ask him what the problem is? It isn't that you are being over sensitive but he is making you feel insecure which is unfair. It is obviously on your mind so rather than let it fester be brave and approach him.

Re: bully boss? :-(

Mark Hedberg — Fri, 04 Oct 2013 09:02:34 GMT

[quote user="Dreamcatcher"] it will be my fault for being too sensitive.

[/quote]

I've always hated when bullies try this one. It's not your fault that you don't like it when people yell at you or are intentionally rude to you.

If that's being too sensitive, then I'm too sensitive too. :)

(Oh, and the one where people say something offensive and pretend it was a joke? Don't like that either. )

Re: bully boss? :-(

Gillian Mostyn — Thu, 03 Oct 2013 23:07:53 GMT

I know it isn't easy. If it is any consolation, I (as the boss) find it equally difficult and stressful to approach an employee to sort out any issues. It just doesn't come easily to some of us. Unfortunately, you have to bite the bullet and go for it- and the more you do it (and the older you get) the easier it becomes. You realise that we're all just human and we are all entitled to discuss our issueswith anyone else!!!

Re: bully boss? :-(

Dreamcatcher — Thu, 03 Oct 2013 20:04:10 GMT

Thanks, yea as I was sent that, I realised it sounded kind of pathetic.... it's just that I'm finding it so hard to approach him, even about patients, that I guess I'm just worried about making the situation worse. He'll often shout and swear at me, and as someone who hates confrontation, this is what I find most upsetting and am filled with dread at the thought of putting myself in a confrontational situation.

Re: bully boss? :-(

Gillian Mostyn — Thu, 03 Oct 2013 19:47:14 GMT

[quote user="Dreamcatcher"] I know I should probably approach him[/quote]

This is the ONLY route you should take at this point

[quote user="Dreamcatcher"] but I just know I'll end up in tears and then it will be my fault for being too sensitive.[/quote]

I don't know what to say to this really. You have to be able to discuss your concerns without getting too emotional - it isn't about 'fault' - it is about having a problem and approaching the boss to try to sort it out in an adult, objective way. Give specific examples of what situations/comments upset you, and suggest ways in which the working relationship can be improved.

[quote user="Dreamcatcher"]Or am i better off just cutting my losses and leaving? [/quote]

Depends on the result of the meeting.......and if your requests are reasonable and are subsequently met.