Should I report my boss?

Re: Should I report my boss?

Mark Hedberg — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 10:21:04 GMT

[quote user="Princess Ophelia Hermione MacBeth"]

[quote user="Mark Hedberg"]I would hope that if my posts are considered utter tosh, you all understand it's because i occasionally talk rubbish, not because I'm a vet. [/quote]

Nah, we make allowances for the fact that you are a man Mark

[/quote]

Um...er...OH YEAH???!?!?!!

(Mark, the master of the witty comeback)

Re: Should I report my boss?

Siobhan Steven — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 09:00:53 GMT

You are correct, I don't mean that at all. I totally believe people should be allowed their own opinions, but I feel that Emmie was being 'spoken' to in a way that would make her doubt the action she wanted to take, therefore allowing the treatment to continue.

Ditto to McBoarder back to Arlo, support is what Emmie was seeking not a judgement and jury, these attitudes will, as other members have mentioned, put people off seeking and help from people on this site, which is a shame because we should be supporting each other, that doesn't mean always agreeing but the 'tone' of some postings verged on dictatorial.

Point taken on Emmie having not commented for two months, hardly surprising really.

Re: Should I report my boss?

Louise B — Tue, 15 Oct 2013 21:57:10 GMT

[quote user="Mark Hedberg"]I would hope that if my posts are considered utter tosh, you all understand it's because i occasionally talk rubbish, not because I'm a vet. [/quote]

Nah, we make allowances for the fact that you are a man Mark

Re: Should I report my boss?

Mark Hedberg — Tue, 15 Oct 2013 21:44:28 GMT

[quote user="Siobhan Steven"]

Ditto: well said Joanne. This is after all a VET NURSE website, maybe it should be contained to nurses currently in the industry, and exclude vets...just a thought. Vets do have other sites for their discussions. You have plenty of support Emmie, don't be disheartened. And anyone who is qualified in mediation should be far more understanding.

[/quote]

Well, I've always preferred judging posts on their merit, not their author's job. I speak as naught but an ex-kennel scrubber (and occasional vet!) myself.

I would hope that if my posts are considered utter tosh, you all understand it's because i occasionally talk rubbish, not because I'm a vet.

Re: Should I report my boss?

Jacqueline Gallacher — Tue, 15 Oct 2013 19:40:49 GMT

[quo[quote user="Arlo Guthrie"]Crikey, Emmie last posted over two months ago, and yet the debate rages on in her absence.[/quote]

I think Emmie is very wise to stop posting on this issue if she is taking it further.

[quote user="Arlo Guthrie"]the whole idea of the forum is to provide help and support to people like Emmie, not to start arguing the rights and wrongs of her predicament.[/quote] Couldnt agree more Arlo, we should be supporting Emmie and anyone else who asks for advice. Well said

Re: Should I report my boss?

Arlo Guthrie — Tue, 15 Oct 2013 15:54:54 GMT

Crikey, Emmie last posted over two months ago, and yet the debate rages on in her absence.

It is very easy for people who reply to a post to then get into a heated debate with each other. That rather misses the point, which is that the whole idea of the forum is to provide help and support to people like Emmie, not to start arguing the rights and wrongs of her predicament.

Re: Should I report my boss?

Gillian Mostyn — Tue, 15 Oct 2013 14:16:53 GMT

That post very much reads as 'maybe we shouldn't allow people to post who may have opinions that are different to ours.' Although I'm sure you wouldn't actually mean that....would you?

Re: Should I report my boss?

Siobhan Steven — Tue, 15 Oct 2013 13:37:29 GMT

Re: Should I report my boss?

Jacqueline Gallacher — Tue, 15 Oct 2013 10:52:39 GMT

[quote user="Joanna Saunders"] think some people are forgetting what it is like to be young and feel intimidated by someone who is much higher up than them, do people who are bullied speak up after the very first instance, or does it often take years for them to come out and say 'I was bullied by this person'?? I can imagine that it is a very surreal and scary feeling knowing that you need to report your boss for something you know is wrong[/quote]

Well said Joanna

Re: Should I report my boss?

Joanna Christoffersen — Tue, 15 Oct 2013 06:45:02 GMT

I think some people are forgetting what it is like to be young and feel intimidated by someone who is much higher up than them, do people who are bullied speak up after the very first instance, or does it often take years for them to come out and say 'I was bullied by this person'?? I can imagine that it is a very surreal and scary feeling knowing that you need to report your boss for something you know is wrong, but who to? Will you be believed? Or will you be discredited and written off by other practices as more trouble than its worth? I don't condone the colleagues for not having said anything about this for what appears to be a significant amount of time, but I am sure that every witness to these events has felt like their word will be worth very little compared to the boss who is doing this, and who wants to be that one person who stands up above the rest and voices their concerns? To be singled out? I am by know means saying that people should have sat back and let it happen, I am just saying that until you are in this kind of situation you can't really judge. I have been in situations much less severe than this, but nonetheless have been very scary, I stood up and voiced my concerns regardless of consequences and whilst at the time you feel that it would have been best to not be the person, you will feel much more at peace with yourself knowing you tried everything you could to ensure bad things didn't happen again.

I say that you should definitely seek advice, but from a reputable source who can help you action what is necessary and hold your head up high knowing that you have done something about it. I agree with previous posts stating that this vet clearly needs some professional help but I also think she clearly needs to be removed from the profession whilst she receives it, and possibly permanently, depending obviously on what the whole story is and whether or not things can be changed for the better. I think that people have been a little too harsh and too judgemental of a young nurse who has only ever experienced life at this one practice and probably felt terrified at the prospect of ruining all of that. I hope it all gets sorted soon!

Re: Should I report my boss?

Gillian Mostyn — Mon, 14 Oct 2013 09:45:25 GMT

Re: Should I report my boss?

zalenski81 — Sun, 13 Oct 2013 21:10:05 GMT

[quote user="zalenski81"]Personally I wouldn't but then I am a hot head sometimes especially where animal welfare is concerned and I have never been backward at coming forward but I never had to deal with that as a trainee fortunately. All I can offer is my opinion and that is that if an animal was being abused by someone in a position of trust then the gloves come off and I'd come out swinging regardless of jobs or training practice status etc but then all that is easy to say if you're not in the middle of the situation. I hope it does get sorted and fair play for doing the right thing even if it is a little later than I personally would have done. At the end of the day if you can look in the mirror and say that you've done what you think is the right thing then that's what matters. The only person you have to live with is yourself. And now I'm off to hug trees and stuff...

[/quote] This was a reply to Gillian BTW but I'm not sure if I've got the hang of this technology makarky!

Re: Should I report my boss?

zalenski81 — Sun, 13 Oct 2013 21:05:12 GMT

Personally I wouldn't but then I am a hot head sometimes especially where animal welfare is concerned and I have never been backward at coming forward but I never had to deal with that as a trainee fortunately. All I can offer is my opinion and that is that if an animal was being abused by someone in a position of trust then the gloves come off and I'd come out swinging regardless of jobs or training practice status etc but then all that is easy to say if you're not in the middle of the situation. I hope it does get sorted and fair play for doing the right thing even if it is a little later than I personally would have done. At the end of the day if you can look in the mirror and say that you've done what you think is the right thing then that's what matters. The only person you have to live with is yourself. And now I'm off to hug trees and stuff...

Re: Should I report my boss?

Jacqueline Gallacher — Sun, 13 Oct 2013 15:37:47 GMT

[quote user="Emmie141"]I I merely posted this for advice, not an argument! I have spoken up about my concerns to so many people throughout my training, including the college [/quote]

As Emmie says she didn't want an argument, but it seems that is what this is turning into, in my opinion. And she clearly says she has tried to speak up and get help throughout her training, not just after two years.

Re: Should I report my boss?

Siobhan Steven — Sun, 13 Oct 2013 14:37:44 GMT

Thank you macboarder for casting some sense onto the argument. Gillian, I would probably personally report it much earlier but I don't think we should withdraw support because of the individual circumstances, on one hand I am disappointed that it has been allowed to go on much longer than I would have let it (allegedly). And I guess we can all hypothesise about the allegations, we are not here to ascertain 'guilt' or 'innocence' but to support another member of our industry to do what they feel they should. The governing bodies will deal with the rest. Everyone is allowed an opinion, that is what a democracy is, I feel there are some members here who are being quite forceful, verging on bullies and maybe need to take a step back from the issue. Especially if you are no longer in the industry. My support is with any nurse who wants to improve the care of patients, if she is proven wrong that is what the system is there for, why are some people (a minority it seems) hanging her out to dry? (And you don't need to reiterate your arguments, again, I have read them).

Re: Should I report my boss?

Gillian Mostyn — Sun, 13 Oct 2013 14:24:40 GMT

[quote user="zalenski81"]My opinion is that if we are quiet, we are complicit and doing the right thing may not always be easy but it's the right thing to do.[/quote]

So you wouldn't wait 2 years until you'd finished your training? I think you've just reinforced the main point Sal was trying to make.......why would you NOT say anything for so long if you felt so strongly about what was happening....

Re: Should I report my boss?

zalenski81 — Sun, 13 Oct 2013 13:06:51 GMT

Hell to the yes! How would you feel if it was your pet she was doing this to? We are supposed to be there to help animals not beat them up. I've reported to managers vets who have smacked dogs across the face. My opinion is that if we are quiet, we are complicit and doing the right thing may not always be easy but it's the right thing to do. Good luck xx

Re: Should I report my boss?

Julie — Wed, 25 Sep 2013 17:52:29 GMT

Very nice of you to offer your services.

Hopefully, the original poster will contact you if she hasn't rectified this situation already.

Re: Should I report my boss?

Ian Thompson — Wed, 25 Sep 2013 16:07:11 GMT

I have read with interest this entire thread and have noted the fear and reticence that seems to run through it from Emmie141's original post tentatively asking what she should do, through to McBoarder's post about not asking for advice.

As Nurses at any level of qualification you are one of the biggest resources a practice has and also one of the least listened to. If any of you would like to ask advice off the record please feel free to email me. It will not cost you anything and It will be discussed with anyone else. Believe me when I say you would not be the first or the last nurse from this website or anywhere else that will have done this.

So the offer is there if you want.

Thanks

Re: Should I report my boss?

Lisa Goodship — Mon, 23 Sep 2013 22:10:31 GMT

well said susan, it would have been all to easy to walk away and leave it to be someone elses problem - fronting up is never easy and shows that something is important to you, i hope you have found support and strength from others to help you.

Good luck in everthing

Re: Should I report my boss?

Susan Jackson — Mon, 23 Sep 2013 18:27:52 GMT

[quote user="Emmie141"]I wanted to be a nurse so I could help animals. Had I left when I was training, I would not have qualified and fulfilled my intention. In order to be a nurse, you need a tp and they are few and far between, especially if you don't drive. This practice is the only tp in the area so I had no choice but to stay, as a volunteer. Now finally I can drive so am able to apply to non-tps and relieve my conscience by getting things sorted at this practice. I am hoping things aren't the same in all practices but I am getting the impression from you that maybe they are? I understand you have questions but I feel your approach is very negative when I just want to do the right thing and make things better. I merely posted this for advice, not an argument! I have spoken up about my concerns to so many people throughout my training, including the college but at no point was it said that speaking to anyone higher was an option. It appears you think I am asking about this for the wrong reasons, I don't see what they could be?

[/quote]

Don't worry not all practices are like this, there are some wonderful bosses, Vets and VNs out there. I wish you well in your move to another practice. I hope it all gets sorted in the end and well done for coming forward.

Re: Should I report my boss?

Jacqueline Gallacher — Mon, 23 Sep 2013 14:40:11 GMT

You know Helen that is a great idea, I think its too easy online, when you don't have a face and a person standing in front of you , to say things in a way you would never do face to face. And of course text can be misinterpreted with no body language/facial expressions and tone of voice to portray what you are actually trying to get across.

Re: Should I report my boss?

Helen Tottey — Mon, 23 Sep 2013 13:25:42 GMT

[quote user="samz60020@hotmail.com"]

Agreed mcboarder..I wouldnt express my worries/concerns on here for same reason...shame..

[/quote]

I think the problem with asking for advice on forums is that it is faceless and could be likened to (but no where near as extreme) as online bullying. Wouldn't it be a good idea if at the "events" such as BVNA/BSAVA if there were some sort of "vetnurse forum meeting"? This way, there would be faces to names and a chance to actually talk to people. People could even where a badge that says who they are on here as some people use different names.

Re: Should I report my boss?

Sammyannieantha — Mon, 23 Sep 2013 07:45:29 GMT

that is both your opinions..

Re: Should I report my boss?

Sal the 1st — Sun, 22 Sep 2013 21:40:57 GMT

[quote user="Julie"]

I think that this situation with the vet should have been resolved a long time ago for the sake of the animals involved as well as the staff if everyone is so unhappy about their employer.

I don't take things as 'Face Value' from a total stranger on a forum. This doesn't make me a bad person, I'm just not as gullible as I was when I was younger

Only the people who actually work there know the true story and if this story is true then someone, whether a vet or nurse, should have manned up ages ago. As for the college involved, well someone needs to have a word with them too!

[/quote]

thank you