Crying in front of clients ...

Re: Crying in front of clients ...

flow * — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 20:55:58 GMT

I too use to be able to detach myself from the situation. But I lost my cat last year after being attacked by a dog and since then Im a total mess. I try and hold it in best I can in from of the owners but I do feel like Im welling up and just pray they dont notice. I think alot of people will understand that its such a hard job and that its only natural but I do think it is professional to hold it in- well as best you can. We have a horrid job sometimes and when personal feelings come in to it its hard to hold back. Its oly natural at the end of the day!

Re: Crying in front of clients ...

Anonymous — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 13:18:29 GMT

I find it harder than ever now to since my 3 year old GSD died in March, the comment of at least they were a good age, which is meant to be a comfort to the owner, gets me going every time I hear it, also even seeing a young GSD walk through the door is hard, even worse a couple of weeks ago we had one that hadn't been handled properly that the owners were considering PTS for because she was showing aggression, thankfully she's gone to a an experienced home and is like a different dog! I guess we all have our triggers that remind us painful things!

Re: Crying in front of clients ...

Susannah Carrigan SVN — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 11:40:09 GMT

I used to very good at not getting emotional in front of clients, or at all if im honest. Last year my mam's dog who we'd had since i was 5 got PTS and since then ive become a bit more sensitive when it comes to helping with euthanasia, i guess you can see where the owners emotions are coming from and sympathise with them also it brings back memories of personal experiences! I think you learn your own way of dealing with your own emotions over time, some people can do it better than others, but its nice to feel something, shows you're still human :)

Re: Crying in front of clients ...

emmadilemma — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 14:16:30 GMT

[quote user="Crazy Cat Lady"]

Depends what kind of crying I suppose, if that makes sense. I think the bond thing is very important. Otherwise you'll look like a big girl!

I had a cat go completely psycho on me a few months ago, this cat literally shredded the skin on my arms, blood was pouring eveywhere, the owner kept going "do you need a tissue?" In my head I was thinking bloody go away so I can wail in peace and not look like some 5 year old crying over a scuffed knee!

On the other hand, I rehomed my hand-reared foster kitten last week. As soon as he left my arms, I broke down! Welling up at the thought now! Oh I miss my poor baby...

[/quote]

Hehe don`t be startin yourself off again That reminds me of the first time i parted with hand reared kittens honestly it was rediculous i was sobbing...the lady had to prize them out of my hands! She had brought me this cake and she sort of swapped the kittens with the cake and made a hasty retreat

Apart from that sorry episode i try my best not to cry infront of clients. A tear in the eye shows that you`re human and you care but i don`t think they expect us to break down in tears.....i think we should try to be the strong ones and let them do the crying. Easier said than done sometimes..

By the way i LOVE crazy cat lady too!!!

Re: Crying in front of clients ...

Crazy Cat Lady — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 12:33:21 GMT

Depends what kind of crying I suppose, if that makes sense. I think the bond thing is very important. Otherwise you'll look like a big girl!

On the other hand, I rehomed my hand-reared foster kitten last week. As soon as he left my arms, I broke down! Welling up at the thought now! Oh I miss my poor baby...

Re: Crying in front of clients ...

emmRAR — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 18:42:33 GMT

I've only cried a couple of times in front of clients, both PTS's of an animal that had needed a lot of nursing care for a long time - both times the owner gave me a hug (!) and seemed to appreciate the fact that we cared that much about their pets to be genuinely upset at the end.

I do, however, agree that it's unprofessional to cry in front of clients that you don't have that bond with.

Re: Crying in front of clients ...

Lucy Hudson — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 09:22:08 GMT

since i had my own dog PTS i have become increasing more emotional during assisting in euthanasia. before this i was always able to detatch myself. i think for me its a personal thing, because my emotions are stil raw and i can understand what the client is going through at the time and what is to come in the weeks/months after without their pet.

i havent yet cried infront of a client but i feel myself welling up and a lump in my throat more and more. im not sure if it something that will pass in time, and i just have to try and remain composed as quite rightly if the bond with the client isnt there what right do i have to allow my personal emotions to overspill into their last moments with their pet.

Re: Crying in front of clients ...

Sal the 1st — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 23:26:47 GMT

[quote user="Beholden"]

I think subconsciously I'm expressing empathy (in tears!!!) for want of better things to say... not good I know! Sometimes there just isn't anything to say though. This cat, was very much a case of this.

Quite the opposite of you - I have never cried out the back, away from the client. Its only with the client it happens!!!!

[/quote]

I dont know if this will help you or not? I have done quite a bit of work in human bereavement and I was terrible with this at first and then one of my mentors told me to concentrate on process rather than emotion ie concentrate on the actual event rather than the reaction to the event. It is difficult tho because the majority of people will show emotion be it tears, embarrasment, anger sometimes even smiles when in the presence of another who is crying - thats just human nature

I have cried in front of clients - especially if it is an animal I know well or have nursed for a long time

The way I hold it together now (well most of the time) is to think of it as making it as easy for the owner as I can and I can best do that by trying to make sure that as much as possible things run smoothly and everything that can be prepared is ready.

Re: Crying in front of clients ...

Caro Laithwaite VN — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 22:33:31 GMT

Re: Crying in front of clients ...

Beholden — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 22:11:46 GMT

[quote user="Steph Worsley"]

this is meant to be the professional caring for my animal and offering me support and empathy, not the other way round.

[/quote]

Yes I agree with what you are saying - I think its the empathy part though that sets its off - once I am away from the client, I'm fine - I still feel the same (sympathy/compassion for the client etc) but the tears stop.

Quite the opposite of you - I have never cried out the back, away from the client. Its only with the client it happens!!!!

Re: Crying in front of clients ...

Steph Worsley — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 21:20:50 GMT

I think it's a very fine line, I have cried only a couple of times in front of clients and that's been when I have developed a huge bond with them ie long term intensively nursed/loads of client care, and have got to know them on a personal level

I think it is fine to cry on your own in the back (which I have done many times) but not in front of clients unless the bond is there, thinking from a clients point of view I wouldn't want someone I had only met maybe a handful of times crying in front of me when we were discussing my pet, I would feel very uncomfortable, this is meant to be the professional caring for my animal and offering me support and empathy, not the other way round.

I don't think the fact I dont cry a lot in front of clients is showing that I am inhuman, I have empathy for clients and show I care and am human in other ways.

Maybe this comes across cold or heartless but I'm not, I just feel a professional front should be maintained

Re: Crying in front of clients ...

Michelle Rewcastle — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 20:57:36 GMT

Having cried a few times myself, at the time ive felt terrible. Mainly because its their beloved pet and not mine, but now when i think back on it, i realise that there are times when i think it is acceptable. Ill cry when patients come in with rat poisoning - ive lost two young dogs to it myself, and wither it just brings back painful memories or i know roughly how the owner if feelng, it gets me in floods every time! If i have been caring for a patient for a while one to one, and they die, i get upset. I think it shows that we are only human! xxx