Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Laura x — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 20:29:51 GMT

Hope all is well with you, my little bundle arrived on Tuesday and I couldn't be happier!! It's actually my due date today and feels strange not having the little wriggle bum inside me haha! :-)

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Susannah Carrigan SVN — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 14:09:08 GMT

Recently came across your post and thought id comment. Im sorry to hear you're keeping unwell. How are you feeling now?

Ive recently found out im pregnant, am 9 weeks today. Also just finishing my first year in the new diploma so not the best timing. Once i got over the initial shock of it all ive calmed down and am starting to look forward to having the baby.

I hope you figure things out and do whats best for you. All the best! xx

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Laura x — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 20:41:14 GMT

[quote user="stressed"]

I am the most un maternal person there is and dont really like children. My fiance on the other hand is really happy.

[/quote]

Hi, I have not been on here for a while and thought I would come on for a catch up. I hope I can help, when I was 18 I had been seeing a boy on and off for 6 months, we finally ot together and 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant, he was on holiday in greece with his friend and I had to break the news over the phone . I had only been working as an animal assistant for 2 years and had my whole career ahead of me, I also did not know if this relationship was going to last, his mum was over the moon but the only person who could make the decision was myself. I had all kinds of emotions going on, I sadly came to the decision that the only sensible thing to do was have a termination and my boyfriend agreed, it's not something that should be thought of lightly. Over the next few years my friends were starting to fall pregnant and I was overcome with severe guilt about what I had done but deep down I know the right decision was made.

I am now nearly 28 and me and Chris are still together, it's our 9 year anniversary on sunday and I am due my baby 3 weeks on sunday, I am the most unmaternal person in the world and I am terrified of what is going to happen but every movement he has made and every hiccup he has had has bonded me to my baby and I cannot wait to finally meet him! All I know from what i've read is that your Fiance is going to be with you every step of the way so be open and honest with him and he will understand, just last week I had tears thinking I am going to be a bad mother but he reassured me with a massive hug that this is new to both of us and we can enjoy being parents together. If you need to talk you can PM me no problem x

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Katie Mansfield — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 08:14:48 GMT

[quote user="Phrin Vernon RVN (just need badge!)"]

am sure every one of the regulars who has posted on this thread will agree that you can PM them too!

You shouldn't have to feel so isolated during this

Hugs

[/quote]

Deffo. Hope you're OK,

K x

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Phrin Vernon RVN — Mon, 30 May 2011 22:16:23 GMT

Hey 'Stressed' - I hope you are OK, and please remember that you can always get help on here - if you don't want to post on a thread, you are welcome to PM me, and I am sure every one of the regulars who has posted on this thread will agree that you can PM them too!

You shouldn't have to feel so isolated during this

Hugs

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Steph Phillips — Mon, 30 May 2011 22:10:06 GMT

[quote user="Katietaz"]

[quote user="Steph Phillips"]hyperemesis something![/quote]

"gravidarum" - I think.

[/quote]

yup - thats the word!! lol

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Katie Mansfield — Mon, 30 May 2011 08:04:03 GMT

[quote user="Steph Phillips"]hyperemesis something![/quote]

"gravidarum" - I think.

I had it too, horrible. That's why I left practice when I did and didn't qualify cos my practicals were a month after my "morning" (all day) sickness started. On the plus side, I knew the day I was gonna have the baby cos I woke up not feeling (or being) sick !!

How are you doing at the mo, Stressed?

K x

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Steph Phillips — Sat, 28 May 2011 16:20:04 GMT

[quote user="BengalcatRVN"]

My sister suffers from extreme morning sickness, with all 4 of hers she been hospitalised and on drips. It has a proper name, but I can't remember what it is. Talk to your doctor, they should know who you can talk to for help and advice. hugs

[/quote]

"hyperemesis something!" ... it's what my gp told me I had, posh word for very bad morning sickness!

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

BengalcatRVN — Sat, 28 May 2011 14:14:33 GMT

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Steph Phillips — Fri, 27 May 2011 21:09:08 GMT

I can totally sympathise with you!!

My moring sickness was so frigging bad.. I lost over a stone in 2wks. I also got admitted to hospital and put on a drip where I stayed for a few days..

It DOES pass.. My sickness lasted 4mths (this pregnancy) and my appitie went to almost zero.. could only eat grapes / strawberries every few hours!

I promise you, it gets better xxxxx

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

funkyfish — Fri, 27 May 2011 20:19:13 GMT

I don't blame you for feeling like crap right now, I think I'd feel the same!

Stress, hormones and awful morning sickness, no wonder your feeling bad. Can you ask your doc to refer you to someone to talk about it? Are there and local groups/online forums for people in your situation you can contact? I'm sure there is something out there to help you not feel so alone.

Big hugs x

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

stressed — Fri, 27 May 2011 20:07:46 GMT

Well I have had less than 48hrs of not being constantly and violently sick and it has returned with a vengence, was at the doctors again today and they are talking of re-admitting me to hospital. Yes It may sound like Im resenting being pregnant and at the minute Im sure that anyone else as ill as i'm being would feel the same way.

I feel like shite constantly and Im struggling to cope! I have no one round me who has kids ( we have no neighbours) ( and my few friends dont have kids) and as I live soo far away from both places I work I dont have time to meet people and Ive never been one for clubbing and partying. When my partner is at work Im left on my own at home and im very miserable- my mother is local but is no help and tells me I'm being pathetic and get on with things.

I may feel differently when its not making my life unbearable.

We dont know how far along I am as I dont have periods, my first scan isnt for another 2 weeks as this was the soonest. I have been signed off work for another 2 weeks and the reason is written on the letter so obviously both works will know then.

Im not sure how this comes across and I may seem a right misery but I getting to my wits end. I have barely eaten now for 2 weeks and may just be stuck in a big rut.

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Mac Feather — Thu, 26 May 2011 08:49:09 GMT

[quote user="Sal the 1st"]You do need to be clear about what you want and you do need to be reaching decisions sooner rather than later. Whatever your decision you need to know that there is support available for you.[/quote]

You need to talk to someone, the worst thing you can do is bottle it up or put your head in the sand. Sometimes the hardest thing is to ask for help but you must,you cant do this alone.

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Phrin Vernon RVN — Wed, 25 May 2011 23:57:56 GMT

Well said Sal

Been there, fought that decision, and learned that the only one who knows is you... my thoughts are with you whatever you decide

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Sal the 1st — Wed, 25 May 2011 22:39:10 GMT

[quote user="stressed"]

Thanks for the support. Sorry I wasnt able to reply to anyone earlier but I had to go to hospital and have iv fluids as I had severe morning sickness, it seems I am over the worst now though have medication to take but have lost a lot of weight and have been told to stay home in bed.

Where do I start?

My horses are a major part of my life and Im not prepared to give them up I'm afraid- this may make me seem selfish but I had them first and I didnt want kids.

I have had a bad experience in the past where my show jumper died due to me trusting her with someone else and that person not bothering to check her properly so I am wary about trusting them to someone else, one of which is an entire colt! My horses are also kept at home on our farm not on a livery yard, and as we have problems with tresspassers I need to be careful as to who is allowed on and off.

As soon as I feel well enough I will get back on my mare and continue to ride her, she is very much a 1 person horse and wouldnt tolerte being ridden by anyone else. My mum cant even ride her or lead her very far- she is very opinionated and at 20yrs old you cant change her.

I actually have 2 jobs which basically means I work 7 days a week. I run a small branch practice and this I will keep doing as A) I do qualify for maternity leave etc off this job and B) it means I will have a job to come back too as its easy.

The new job is going to be a problem, it was only temporary for a year to cover the other nurses maternity leave. As it envolves out of hours work she went on maternity leave when it got too much, there isnt any way of doing lighter duties when you are doing a 16hr shift on your own overnight and you dont get to sleep. It is a busy out of hours practice where we answer the phone all night and see any thing that needs seeing, we see the rspca alot too. 2 weeks ago I had a 70kg dog for emergency sx and there was just me and the vet to lift it!

I cant see me actually keeping this job as lets face it if I go on leave in november are they actually going to find anyone to fill the post for 4 to 5 months when the other nurse comes back?

[/quote]

The question I would be asking - is this child wanted? and it isnt just is this child wanted by everybody else its is this child wanted by you. Have you managed to talk this through with your partner? What is right for everybody else might not be right for you - but only you can make that decision.

You do need to be clear about what you want and you do need to be reaching decisions sooner rather than later. Whatever your decision you need to know that there is support available for you.

feel free to pm me if you think it will help

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Selena Carnell — Wed, 25 May 2011 22:00:42 GMT

What does your hubby think? It sound like you are resenting being pregnant already. How far into the pregnancy are you? There are many people out there who juggle horses, kids, work and a family life, but it is huge strain. Just think you'll be able to share your love of horses with the child too.

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

stressed — Tue, 24 May 2011 12:57:57 GMT

Where do I start?

My horses are a major part of my life and Im not prepared to give them up I'm afraid- this may make me seem selfish but I had them first and I didnt want kids.

I cant see me actually keeping this job as lets face it if I go on leave in november are they actually going to find anyone to fill the post for 4 to 5 months when the other nurse comes back?

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Anonymous — Sat, 21 May 2011 11:00:25 GMT

Being new to the job does put you in an akward position, but with the veterinary industry being mostly female I'm sure they;ll be understanding if you just explain that it wasn't planned. These things happen! It seems like the end of the world now but once things have settled down it will seem like it was a silly thing to worry about.

And the horse: there are plenty of people who would love to do a horse share/loan. And depending on your financial situation (child care) or near by relatives you should be able to get riding again soon. Just think of this as a very small section of your life.

Any problem can be managed and worked around.

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

sarah beardsmore — Fri, 20 May 2011 12:43:48 GMT

what a shock, i never wnated children and i also thought i was the most unmaternal person out there my nursing was my life and i couldnt see how a child could fit in my life. i now have an 8 month old son and i couldnt imagine life without him, yeah its a struggle and your a career really does come 2nd but i wouldnt change it for any thing ive even surprised my self on how maternal i actually am !! sit down with your partner and discuss all options .

all the best xx

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Selena Carnell — Fri, 20 May 2011 10:44:56 GMT

Firstly you need to sit with your hubby and talk, life doesn't stop because you have a kid but it does change dramatically. I don't condone aborting, but that is an inividual thing that you will have to talk about with hubby as it will affect him too and potentially your relationship if he is really keen on having a child. I wasnt maternal at all, and still not veryy good with other kids but great with my own. You probably will only be able to get basic maternity pay as you haven't been there too long. Good luck in what ever you decide, there are always people who can ride your horses. You need to see a doc and find out how far gone you are and then decide from there.

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Phrin Vernon RVN — Wed, 18 May 2011 21:59:49 GMT

Oh, I'm not at all maternal either - can't be doing with kids at all!

But when it's your own, it's different

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Phrin Vernon RVN — Wed, 18 May 2011 21:58:10 GMT

Hey, hope you are OK stressed

I got pregnant, unexpectedly when I was relatively new to a job, and yes, it did change my life, and screw up my CV somewhat, but 5 years down the line, I wouldn't change a thing!

You need to tell your boss, regardless of what happens eventually.

i spent many happy years as a teenager doing 'work for rides' - ie mucking out, and shovelling middens from one place to another, in order to be allowed to look after, groom, feed and ride - I'm sure you could sort something out if need be?

All the best

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Gillian Mostyn — Wed, 18 May 2011 21:49:22 GMT

For SMP an employee must be employed continuously for at least 26 weeks up to and into the 15th week before the week baby is due.

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

emmRAR — Wed, 18 May 2011 17:57:09 GMT

I've read that you have to have been in emplyment with a company for 5 months or more to qualify for paid maternity leave - it would probably be worth checking that out, I could be wrong.

Re: Just found out am 8wks pregnant and started new job 1 mth ago.

Tracey Louise — Wed, 18 May 2011 16:43:05 GMT

Firstly, Congrats, even though being pregnant was probably never in your near future plans. It Sounds like it is the complete opposite really, but yes you are in shock, and just need time to come to terms with everything before you make a decision.

Have you had a scan to date your pregnancy, as you dont have periods, it would be difficult to work out how far along you are.

[quote user="stressed"]

The problem I have is I started a new job a month ago covering a maternity leave position. I have no idea what to do or what to tell them, the job is mainly out of hours work and 12hr + shiftsso I am on my own unless I call the duty vet in and its very busy!!

[/quote]

I was just wondering what the nurse did while she was pregnant (the one whos maternity leave you are covering)? Maybe you would have a similar role to hers if you carried on.

Yep morning sickness is horrid so hopefully that will pass soon and you will feel better.

Hope all goes well, and whatever decision you do make, you will know what is right for you.