What do I do???

Re: What do I do???

Samantha Jackson — Thu, 12 May 2011 14:46:36 GMT

Don't stay where you are not happy, you end up living for the weekends! (And they go too quick!) Find a practice that you're comfortable in. -After all we all seem to end up living at work! As for the stress, if you did fall pregnant in that environment wouldn't it make your pregnancy that bit more difficult -having to watch your back & struggle with morning sickness?!

Re: What do I do???

Katie Mansfield — Thu, 12 May 2011 07:07:30 GMT

[quote user="Deemus"]Then again, I'm yet to take my own advice [/quote]

Very few of us ever do!!!!!

K x

Re: What do I do???

Deemus — Thu, 12 May 2011 06:35:37 GMT

[quote user="Izzie"]

I'm also a clinical coach so worry about letting my student down if I do leave but being a clinical coach has stressed me out. I know that I will also feel guilty if I do get another job and then fall pregnant. Think I need to stop worrying about stuff!!

Thanks again

[/quote]

Try not to worry about your student too much. Due to a sense of loyalty to one of my students, I missed out on a great opportunity regarding a new job in a related sector but not nursing in the part of the country I want to move to. Essentially, if I left it would be about 6 months before her finals. So I stayed and have been kicking myself ever since.

The reall kicker is that as soon as she qualified, she was moved to another part of the country leaving myself as the only QVN with two brand new newbies. Did someone mention stress??

Life is way to short to spend it somewhere you don't like. Then again, I'm yet to take my own advice

Re: What do I do???

Susan Jackson — Wed, 11 May 2011 20:52:44 GMT

My boss was talking today about living now because in the future you won't have your health. I'm 32yrs single and no children, probably because i've been too sensible. I have no regrets, I still want to meet the right person and have a family, but the right choices for me is to live and enjoy doing my job as much as I can.

If you're unhappy make the choices that will make you feel better whatever that may be.

Re: What do I do???

FINNIGAN — Wed, 11 May 2011 20:40:26 GMT

Just to say our old head nurse had been trying for a baby for 3 years, was always very stressed and not conceiving was adding to this. she finally left and 6 mths later was pregnant!!!! she said she didnt realise how badly stressed she was!!!!!

Re: What do I do???

Katie Mansfield — Wed, 11 May 2011 07:10:17 GMT

[quote user="Izzie"]I'm also a clinical coach so worry about letting my student down[/quote]

There are times when you have to put yourself first. I think this might be one of them. Don't worry about your student. I'm sure when the practice advertise the post they'll advertise for a clinical coach.

Apart from that - once you've had your baby and are looking for a new job you've got bonus points on your CV!!!

K x

Re: What do I do???

Izzie — Tue, 10 May 2011 22:18:41 GMT

Thank you everyone for your replies. I will be on the look out and will give the local practices a call. Like alot of you said life is too short and being happy is important and having a baby is what I really want.

Thanks again

Re: What do I do???

Tracey Louise — Tue, 10 May 2011 20:52:07 GMT

I think you should look for another job, you sound really unhappy

And you obviously really want a baby, so you need to be as happy as possible and you will get some sort of maternity pay whether it be statutory pay or allowance.

In reply to a previous poster, I used to think my cats were my babies and always wud be, then i had my daughter and there is absolutely no comparrison im afraid! Pets and children are definately not the same, and there is never a great time financially to have a baby, you dont need alot of money to be a good mummy or daddy, just lots of love, and you get by.

Hope it all works out for you izzie, all the best x

Re: What do I do???

Selena Carnell — Tue, 10 May 2011 12:57:57 GMT

If you wait to be able to afford to have kids then you'll never will. kids are a financial burden. i would look for another job life is too short.

Re: What do I do???

Gillian Mostyn — Tue, 10 May 2011 12:16:25 GMT

[quote user="niknoks"]Even if you locum you will still get statutory maternity pay as long as you can prove you have been working. A friend of mine quit work and locummed for a year before getting pregnant. She still got maternity pay from the government[/quote]

As has been said, you get maternity allowance (as I did, as I am self employed) rather than SMP. It is significantly less.

I don't think it is about needing the money in this case so much as doing something which will jeopardise the right to it. If you pay your taxes you are entitled to SMP - and I for one wouldn't like to miss out in one of the very few cases where the taxpayer does get some support from the government.

Re: What do I do???

Riakx — Tue, 10 May 2011 11:24:43 GMT

[quote user="Caro Laithwaite VN,"]

Thing is and no doubt folks will go beserk but... if you can not afford to have a baby then dont have one it is like people who get pets they can not afford then expect charity to pay for them.

[/quote] Lol, to be honest I don't know of anyone who can actually afford having a baby! I used to think pets and kids were alike but no way!

Re: What do I do???

Riakx — Tue, 10 May 2011 11:18:08 GMT

I wasnt happy at my previous practice and handed my resignation in to become a Locum. Only to find out the day after I was pregnant! Obviously I couldnt get statutory maternity pay but you can get Maternity allowance from the government, which is what I got. I had to start work when my daughter was 6mths old. But I've landed on my feet now. Got a permanent part time job at a great practice. Don't stay at a practice that ur not happy at, it's obviously affecting u. Keep your eyes pealed for a job else where or become a Locum and keep looking. Just be prepared that another practice could be as bad as your current one though. Fingers crossed for you.

Re: What do I do???

Caro Laithwaite VN — Mon, 09 May 2011 22:04:07 GMT

Thing is and no doubt folks will go beserk but... if you can not afford to have a baby then dont have one it is like people who get pets they can not afford then expect charity to pay for them.

Re: What do I do???

Nikki Graef — Mon, 09 May 2011 21:52:03 GMT

Even if you locum you will still get statutory maternity pay as long as you can prove you have been working. A friend of mine quit work and locummed for a year before getting pregnant. She still got maternity pay from the government

Re: What do I do???

Caro Laithwaite VN — Mon, 09 May 2011 21:41:04 GMT

Don't live on water under the bridge. So what if you don't get maternity pay do you want a life or do you want to be so miserable you gonna bring a kid into that? If it is so important you have a kid take measures to avoid pregnancy until established in a job and a life you are happy in.

Re: What do I do???

Nick Shackleton — Mon, 09 May 2011 21:34:56 GMT

remember You work to live not live to work. Spread your wings and find a place that your happy in

Re: What do I do???

Vicky RVN — Mon, 09 May 2011 21:13:09 GMT

[quote user="Gillian Mostyn"]

I'd say move - life is too short to be miserable.

[/quote] I agree with that. I moved and didn't realise how miserable I had been until i'd moved!

Re: What do I do???

Gillian Mostyn — Mon, 09 May 2011 21:06:13 GMT

[quote user="Katietaz"]Could you locum for a while? - gets you out of current job and brings in the money until you fall?[/quote]

I wouldn't recommend that - you wouldn't get any maternity pay.

The law now states that you are entitled to full maternity pay even if you fall pregnent the day after (or before!) you start a new job. Although your new employer may not be too chuffed......

I'd say move - life is too short to be miserable.

Re: What do I do???

Katie Mansfield — Mon, 09 May 2011 20:23:20 GMT

I don't know how true it is but they say reducing stress levels may help you concieve.

Your job sounds like it's stressing you out. Having said that looking for a new one may cause stress?

Not very helpful, but food for thought....

Could you locum for a while? - gets you ot of current job and brings in the money until you fall?

Another thought - do others at your practice feel the same and could you all have a meeting to voice your concerns?

Good luck,

K x