Life

Re: Life

Katherine Spear — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 20:39:07 GMT

hey bird, yes my bloke was like that too, i think maybe its their way of coping, im sure it is difficult for him too but he deals with it so differently.

Re: Life

A Little TLC — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 18:32:18 GMT

Sounds familiar, mine just turned off like that. To quote Dory, 'just keep swimming'.

Re: Life

lone bird — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 17:19:08 GMT

I feel very up and down, well more down that up really.

Its just knowing what road to take.

It hasnt helped that he said hes 'sick of this'- wish I could click my fingers and be as over it as he seems to be.

Re: Life

Katie B — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 17:44:58 GMT

Well let us know how you get on then and I hope your feeling a little brighter. Time is a great healer.

Re: Life

lone bird — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 17:54:46 GMT

Unfortunately its a tied house which comes with his job so its all up to me to do something.

Re: Life

Katie B — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 16:19:53 GMT

No your not, stop putting yourself down. If he wants the change then he should move out and pay his half of the rent, until you find a lodger at least. The best thing is to try and move away from him. Seeing him everyday is not healthy and will just make you feel worse. I really hope you realise we are all here for you. You will get through this and you will be a much stronger person! xx

Re: Life

lone bird — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 15:09:07 GMT

Im not close to my parents and to be honest I find them quite counter productive.

Im a disaster zone!

Re: Life

Katie B — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 12:58:01 GMT

[quote user="lone bird"]

I need out of here but my wage wont be enough to support me. The thought of declaring myself homeless scares me!

[/quote]

What about moving in with your parents or friends for a while? Just don't let him take you for a ride.

Re: Life

Nikki Graef — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 12:57:52 GMT

You could look in to affordable housing options, i dont know where you are in the country but there is even shared houses, while maybe not ideal they are cheaper than living alone and often bills are included.

If you dont fancy living with strangers, studio apartments are usually available fairly cheaply unless you live in the middle of london, in the north east where i am they are around £350-£450 pcm.

Obviously i have no idea what you earn but i am on the average rubbish vet nurse salary and could probably afford that at a push on my own although money would be tight. Rightmove is a good place to look if you want to find somewhere.

Or could you stay with friends/relatives until you are back on your feet?

Re: Life

lone bird — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 11:09:20 GMT

I need out of here but my wage wont be enough to support me. The thought of declaring myself homeless scares me!

Re: Life

Sally Howe — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 10:44:03 GMT

Hun my offer also still stands. We're here for you.

Your feelings are only natural at the moment.

I'm always on the end of the phone x x x

Re: Life

Katie B — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 10:14:55 GMT

[quote user="lone bird"]

All i wanted was someone to love that loved me back and to have a family. well more fool me!

[/quote]

And you will get that but just not with him. I felt the same about 4 years ago. My ex got a one night stand pregnant when I was with him. It hurt like hell and stupidly I stayed with him until the baby was born (not knowing if it was his or the other married blokes) It turned out the baby was his. I was wrecked, had depression and lost it really. I auditioned for a singing job in Wales and got it. I went there and loved every second of it. It was there I met my boyfriend and I tell you he is the most thoughtful, loving bloke and I feel so much more for him than any of my exes. What I am trying to get at is these things test us and push us to the limit. But you have to stand up and say f**k you and move on. If I ever saw my ex now, I would thank him as he is the one I have to thank for the fact I met Martin. I would have never gone if things were going well with him.

I know it's easy for us all to say that we know how your feeling and deep down I am sure that your thinking, yeah right but everyone has had their heart broken. You can either lie down and take it or you can learn from it and move on. Your a strong girl, so grieve the relationship, don't listen to others advice and then move on to bigger and better things. I hope this helps.

Re: Life

A Little TLC — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 23:06:58 GMT

Exactly what they^^ said!!! I still love my ex more than I have ever loved anyone, I know exactly how you are feeling. I'd do anything to have him back.

I still have horrible days, and its only now, seeing that someone else is going through the same that I realise that i am coping better than I thought i was.

You can't switch off, even if it seems like they have.

I have had people say to me, oh that was ages ago, tell him to get stuffed, but it really isn't that easy.

Just keep talking to those that are your true friends who will listen. I'd be lying if i said it will get easier soon. Cos it won't, i'm only being honest.

But just keep being you don't change, and cuddle your friends. x

Re: Life

Steph Worsley — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 21:17:21 GMT

[quote user="lone bird"]

Im just a sad cow that still loves him.

[/quote]

No you're not!, of course the love you have built up for him is still there it won't vanish over night.

Re: Life

Nikki Graef — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 21:10:53 GMT

Of course you still love him, you cant just switch off loving him just because he has broken your heart. It took me years to stop loving my ex like i think at least 2 years if not 3 but it will get easier, personally i found it easier if i didnt see him as then i didnt have to think about him and everytime i saw him i burst in to tears.

You are not responsible for this, only he is and only he knows the reason why. You just need to focus on you and getting you feeling happier

Re: Life

lone bird — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 21:03:30 GMT

Im just a sad cow that still loves him.

Re: Life

Steph Worsley — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 20:49:30 GMT

[quote user="lone bird"]

i feel overwhelmed really- my parents and some friends say i should take him to cleaners, to stand up for myself,and that he must be having an affair etc etc

I feel that this is further wrecking my head,feel under a huge deal of pressure.

All i wanted was someone to love that loved me back and to have a family. well more fool me!

[/quote]

you know where I am hun and my offer from yesterday stands for however long you need it to!!!

we all just want to love someone who loves us back and to have a family

you have to do what is right for you, it is hard i know at the moment to decide whats right for you, but you will know.

Re: Life

Nikki Graef — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 20:47:38 GMT

Things will get better hun, i can only echo what everyone else has said and i am another person who has been through a very similar situation and come out the other side.

Only you can decide what to do with regards to taking him to the cleaners etc that your family are suggesting, the only thing i would say is dont be a doormat and get saddled with any of his debt, i have certainly learnt to regret that. I also hoped that he would take me back if i was nice and just went along with whatever he said, it didnt happen. I know in some cases it does but in mine it didnt.

Be strong, surround yourself with family and friends and you will get through it and meet someone else in the future and you will look back and be glad that what happened happened.

We are all here if you need us x

Re: Life

Nicola Smith — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 20:10:28 GMT

Chin up babe, things will seem like there is no way out at the moment but trust me things will get better.

I felt like my world had ended when found out my husband of 5 years had got his 'mistress' pregnant, had previously stupidly had him back after found out about affair after he promised it would end. I was left to sort out selling the house and looking after our pets etc while he just moved into her house. I went through some really low times but I have come out of it all a much stronger person and my life is better than I ever thought it would be.

Just keep strong and things will sor themselves out - there is always a way. PM me if you need to chat - we are all here to support you.

Re: Life

lone bird — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 19:58:03 GMT

i feel overwhelmed really- my parents and some friends say i should take him to cleaners, to stand up for myself,and that he must be having an affair etc etc

I feel that this is further wrecking my head,feel under a huge deal of pressure.

All i wanted was someone to love that loved me back and to have a family. well more fool me!

Re: Life

lone bird — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 19:41:47 GMT

Thanks for all your support, it means so much.

My head is wrecked, I dont know which way to turn or even which way is up anymore. The bottom has literally fallen out of my world.

He has gone to tell his parents tonight about the situation.

Im such an ass that Im still hoping he changes his mind- what a total fool I am.

He keeps saying its not my fault and that its him thats changed. Doesnt make it any easier, doesnt make me hate myself any less.

Re: Life

Vicky RVN — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 17:34:58 GMT

I spoke to her online on tues. Anyone heard how she is yet?

Re: Life

Sally Howe — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 15:07:37 GMT

Same here x x x

Re: Life

Steph Worsley — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 14:14:51 GMT

yeah course and vice versa x

Re: Life

Fiona Leathers — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 14:08:12 GMT

OK dokes, can you text me if you hear?