Urgh :(

Re: Urgh :(

J.R. Rimmer RVN — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 14:19:20 GMT

Thank you all for your comments it's really appreciated. I'm not sure how it would go actually talking to her face to face as I'm the type to just crumble and cry!! (I've always been a wuss!!) I think I'll write it all down, everytime something happens, what is said etc.I might write a letter to her too just so she knows how it makes me feel.

Thank you all so much

x x x

Re: Urgh :(

Katie B — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 18:49:24 GMT

I would speak to her directly. Be professional and just say you love your job but would just prefer if she wouldn't assume it is you everytime something goes wrong. If you let her know and she still carries on then take it further. And to be fair she sounds she is the type of person who would actually respect you more by standing up for yourself. I bet your a great nurse, just be strong and have a word with her, I'm sure she isn't even aware what she is doing or how she is coming across! Good luck hun

Re: Urgh :(

Kim Buckley — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 18:33:06 GMT

I used to work with a vet who I was terrified of because she would snap all the time. But when I got to know her and she knew my abilities as a nurse, she backed off and we actually got on really well and I now miss working with her. Some people just don't realise how they are.

I would try and have a quiet word or write her a letter. Just explain how she is making you feel. I bet she doesn't realise at all. Good luck! You will be fine!

Re: Urgh :(

Tracy Windler RVN — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 18:21:09 GMT

May be you could try writing it down in a tactful way, putting in a lot of "I'm sure you are unaware of the way you come across" etc and fully explain why you feel you do not want to discuss it face-to-face, but that it is really affecting you and ask if it is something that she feels you can work on to improve. As her outright if she has a problem with you!

If you do this, I would keep a copy and try to sound as least aggressive, accusatory and petty as possible.

If you can just have a friendly chat with her, that would probably be better, but this could be a solution where you wouldn't need the confrontation??

Re: Urgh :(

Honeybadger — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 17:53:54 GMT

I know it would be a really difficult thing for you to do but I would suggest calmly taking the vet aside and telling her that you feel that she is overly agressive towards you on occasions. Sometimes you just need to confront someone in a calm, collected way to make them realise that you will not put up with the way they treat you. I'd also advise keeping a record of all the occasions that you feel she has treated you unfairly incase you want to take it further.

I have been in your position in the past when I was much younger and new to nursing and have just tried my best to ignore them and get on with doing my job to a good standard. As you get older and more confident in your role you will find it easier to stick up for your self.

xxx

Re: Urgh :(

J.R. Rimmer RVN — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 11:40:09 GMT

[quote user="kaz84"]

you need to speak to your head nurse,who needs to support your concerns and issues. sounds like you may need more nursing staff on in the afternoons and need the extra support. a good vet takes the time to teach and answer any question/concerns you may have... thats how you become a good nurse....... your a student how else are you going to learn ????? where do these vets think us nurses come from/learn ....out of a weet bix box????pfffffft

good luck. sounds like your a fantastic student, keep your head down, bite your tongue and grind your teeth, once your qualified get to a clinic where your respected and treated right :D

[/quote]

Thank you

Re: Urgh :(

J.R. Rimmer RVN — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 11:28:43 GMT

[quote user="Sal (the 1st) Holesworth VN CMH Chyp (M)PNLP"]

could you try maybe writing it down?

[/quote]

It's a good idea as I am the kind of person who is quite reserved and I don't like confrontation. However, I wouldn't really know who to give it to. All the VNs and ANAs know about the situation as I have spoken to a lot of them trying to get advice on what I should do. The response was pretty much the same and was 'don't worry, it happens to everyone.' Which it probably does, it just seems like it happens more often to me. without a doubt I make mistakes, everyone does it's just one of those things, but I feel like mine are noticed more, or the blame for other's gets put on me. It's very difficult as there are three partners, all vets and all are overshadowed by this particular one. Don't really know who to speak to, hence the post

Re: Urgh :(

Sal the 1st — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 11:20:18 GMT

its important to try and sort stuff like this out in the practice - if somebody else in the practice reads about it on here rather than hearing from the people they are working alongside every day at work it can create even bigger problems. There are more and more employers/ colleagues looking at the posts on this forums. If you dont feel brave enough to speak to the person could you try maybe writing it down?

Re: Urgh :(

J.R. Rimmer RVN — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 11:15:08 GMT

[quote user="Sal (the 1st) Holesworth VN CMH Chyp (M)PNLP"]

who is you immediate superior - I would take this to them

[/quote]

We don't really have one, there's a nurse who has been there for around 14 years, and I have spoken to her about it, however she won't say anything to her because she also feels intimidated by her. One of the other senior vets is very nice and agree-able however he's like a wet lettuce and wouldn't say anything either. Everyone feels intimidated by her and she knows it. She gets off on the power kick ( if that's the right phrase). I'm only young and it's difficult to try to get your point across to a 40-something knows all vet.

We do have a lady in practice who is meant to be an outside source if you like that we can go and voice any concerns to, however, she is very good friends with the vet in question and i feel that if I did voice my concerns, it would go straight back to the vet and then she would have it in for me even more!

Re: Urgh :(

kaz84 — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 10:55:58 GMT

good luck. sounds like your a fantastic student, keep your head down, bite your tongue and grind your teeth, once your qualified get to a clinic where your respected and treated right :D

Re: Urgh :(

Sal the 1st — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 10:54:41 GMT

who is you immediate superior - I would take this to them

Re: Urgh :(

J.R. Rimmer RVN — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 10:53:24 GMT

[quote user="Sal (the 1st) Holesworth VN CMH Chyp (M)PNLP"]

take this problem to your head nurse

[/quote]

We don't have one unfortunately

Re: Urgh :(

Sal the 1st — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 10:50:43 GMT

take this problem to your head nurse