Grief

Re: Grief

Heather Barlow — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 09:42:20 GMT

Grief knows no bounds, it is a negative and painfull emotion. You must give yourself permission to feel it, with all its ramifications. Think aboout contacting Cruise or if you would like to talk, you are very welcome to contact me, I am a qualified bereavement counsellor.

It is very normal (not nice) but normal for certain triggers to bring a past loss to the fore, and it is so very important for you to be supported in this loss. YOU ARE NOT FOOLISH, you are normal I promise

Heather xxx

Re: Grief

Lolita — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 08:07:45 GMT

[quote user="mrs mac"] I wonder if we ever really get over tragic events. Reckon maybe we just learn to cope rather than get over it[/quote]

I think you are right, how can we really get over this huge amount of grief we have for a person we love, the grief we have at the time of the event is just a small drop in a very big pond. Life goes on and takes us with it, we have no choice. Its the months and years that follow that we feel it, at certain times and when we are certain places, this jogs a memory.

You say you dont talk about it, I am the very same, I dont either, and then get very upset when something jogs the memory.

FInd someone you can talk to, someone you trust and don't feel foolish talking to, my biggest problem is feeling foolish talking about things sometimes, but when you do get over that...it helps to tell someone how you are feeling. Big hugs, grief is so consuming, its good that you have acknowledged it

Re: Grief

Vicky RVN — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 18:41:07 GMT

[quote user="mrs mac"] I wonder if we ever really get over tragic events. Reckon maybe we just learn to cope rather than get over it[/quote]

I think you are right there. Hissy, i don't really have anything to say that hasn't already been said. I hope you get though your placement ok x

Re: Grief

hissycat — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 13:53:00 GMT

thanks for the replies, I do have a course tutor but I don't know if I would feel comfortable sharing it with her, I do find it very hard to talk about, its not even something I would talk about with friends, actually i've never talked about it with anyone until now. Also I wouldn't want it to become known by all the staff, I would hate for people to treat me differently because of it. I worry that maybe if my work wasn't right (luckily have been fine so far) they wouldn't say anything incase I fell apart and thats not what I want. Its just good to know that i'm not being silly for still being emotional about it and there are people here who understand. I only have two weeks left there, though I may have to go back at some point in the future, so I think maybe if I deal with it now it won't become more of a problem. thanks again for taking the time to replyxx

Re: Grief

Mac Feather — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 13:03:55 GMT

Must be hard going back to a hospital that holds such memories regardless of how long ago its been, sometimes memories just flood back.

I dont think should should expect to be over it, indeed I wonder if we ever really get over tragic events. Reckon maybe we just learn to cope rather than get over it. So please dont be hard on yourself.

Give yourself a pat on the back for noticing you are feeling more withdrawn and for sharing it.

Do you have a course tutor you could speak to?

Re: Grief

Steph Worsley — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 12:52:00 GMT

Hey firstly Huge Hugs xxxx

Personally I dont think you ever truely get over losing someone so close to you, and going back to somewhere that only holds the last memories of someone is extremely tough, I still find it hard going back to where my gran used to live (she died there as well) and that place held so many good memories so i try and remember those, however there are times when I visit my parents that I just have to go back to my grans house and there area she lived in and speak to her I still get upset and cry especially over the fact she never got to see me get my GCSE's let alone get my VN qualification (she has been gone 17 years now and it still hurts) on the other hand when I visit my uncles who still live in the same house my nan and grandad lived in I am fine as we have made new memories and still go back there on a regular basis (i lost my 3 grandparents within 13 months of each other)

I suppose what I am saying is it is ok to still be grieving after all this time, maybe try and speak to someone either at work/supervisor at uni and explain things, they may suggest speaking to a counsellor , which may help or maybe would you be able to move your placement to another hospital?